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Oscar Diggs 04/02/2020 7:58 AM
From THE ASTRONISHING TALES OF OSCAR DIGGS Leaving Ultraviolet City [26 March 2020] The Black City is to the west, and that is where I want to be. BARKEEP: Mr. Bootykins, that was an unprovoked attack upon you. BOOTYKINS: We are prepared to forgive this insult to our person if all occupants of the table agree to accompany our person … A poo smeeling dude in brown robes will lead us: Gallas Flackas is a mutual friend of Poo-Dude and another of our table. LONG FINGER PHIL: [says something I don’t catch] New Cat: You’re in a pickle. I can get you off the hook. Old Tom poaches us with a better offer. Our driver is DimBulbBob. So we all load up with a caravan that is about to move out. They are transporting some Memory Crystals: something Satraps use to hold their memories (therefore they are ransom fodder). The caravan is loading up for the satraps. One of our troop protests: loading up “rainbow apples”, but not the lingerie! And so it begins: several carts start moving out into the pre-dawn light of the Ultraviolet Grasslands, propelled by diesel engines or pulled by freak-animals. The wall of the UV City slowly shrinks in the distance as we travel west. Collectivist Prime (robot) is concerned about the potential exploitation of the workers, but has trouble convincing a long-bearded ox-like-thing to better his lot. We travel all day. As the sun is setting. We come upon a giant chair and someone 20’ tall. This is the stop for yellow beer, apparently. Last Chair Salon: food, cat coffee, wine. There is a halfling: Marsa. $200 cash is our per diem. The team is zealously concerned with the memory crystals. WEST Stepps of the Lime Nomads = NW is one past West Stepps of the Lime Nomads = SW …wait, I’m confused. Maybe too much yellow beer… We all got 50 xp (edited)
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Oscar Diggs 04/09/2020 3:24 PM
Wumpus Schmupus [Thursday, April 2, 2020] There is some heist of memory crystals afoot. PowerArmor Bill somehow hacked into the truck carrying the memory crystals. DimBulbBob is unconscious as a result. I’ve maintained plausible deniability of the enter affair. DIMBULBBOB: [to Rocky] Um, what happened last night. ROCKY: Well, you had a lot to drink and got into an altercation with some exotic dancers… We found you over there, about 100 yards, and we put you in the back of the truck. DIMBULBBOB: What about my tooth. ROCKY: Don’t know about that; I’m not a dentist. There are about 25 people on our caravan, and we are one of several caravans. I meet Roger and Henry They say they’ve been out west before, but they’re idiots. OSCAR: Just you two? You’re not worried about the dangers? HENRY: We got this. [Pulls out a Wembly Revolver.] OSCAR: I got this. [Shows my Fusil.] But it runs on plasmic cores; and I’m out. You know where I could find some? HENRY: Any tomb of the ancients. PowerSuit Bill gets them to show us a map of the tomb they plan on raiding. He snaps a picture of it. After breakfast, we are moving out. We seem to be on a fairly direct two weeks journey to the Porcelain City. Day 9 A big black plumb of smoke erupts from the truck. DIMBULBBOB: Does anybody have a recursive frombulator? SHARONNA: She takes interest and seems to be in authority, and agrees we need the part. It’s going to take them the rest of the day, and we do see a porcelain mound about 1000 m away. I need some plasmic cores, so I’m happing to check it out. Phil Unsk is worried we’re leaving the caravan unguarded—which is our job. PowerArmor Bill lends me a plasmic core, just in case things get crazy out there. (edited)
15:24
We get to the porcelain mound, it’s got some cracks, but someone will need to be the first to climb it. Nobody brought rope. PowerArmor Bill climbs up. With some difficulty—we pull our cart right up again it, we use the skeleton’s ribs as stairs—we all get to the top. Again, PowerArmor Bill takes the lead. It’s dark, but he has lights on his power armor. We all jump down. We all listen. We hear squeaking—probably bats, there is some wind blowing. Brainy Soren says it’s a Wumpus lair. Not good, but if we kill it, it should have some nice stuff. BILL: I say we try the northeast hole ROCKY: Why? BILL: Because I’m from the northeast ROCKY: Ah, so you’re a racists. Well, go on down and lead the way. Bill sees the tunnel goes northeast and down a bit. The breeze might be picking up a bit. Almost 50’ in, Bill sees two other passages, but you’d have to climb around a pit to get to them. We decide to check out the other tunnels off the main room. One leads to another room. Soren gets out a scroll and maps our progress. Bill puts marks the clay tunnels as we go. We get to another room with three entrances/exits. There seems to be a pattern. We tend in a southerly direction. Bats! Rocky files a gun. Phil stabs one. Other’s flail wildly. I do club the last bat with the my Fusil. It’s wounded! Phil captures it in his cloak, and PowerArmor Bill punches it—killing it. +4d XP
15:25
Rocky notices one direction stinks — Wumpuses stink. They are fearsome, but we hope we’ll be able to shoot it to death in the tunnel before it gets to us. BILL: Hey, Wumpus! And here it come: teeth and bristles and suction cups and more teeth and eyes… Bill fires his Fusil. It hits! It’s still coming. I hit it with my Fusil. Rocky misses with his pistol. And it's on us! Soren swings at it, but it dodges. Collectivist Prime blasts it with his arm-mounted canon in it’s center of mass, but it doesn't seem to do much damage. Digor swing his axe, slaying it! It collapses and disintegrates into smelly green smoke. 75 XP
15:25
Where there are wumpusses, there is treasure; in this case: small strong boxes, furniture, etc. PowerArmor Bill will opens a box—noticing and bypassing the trap-trip-wire-first—and finds 6 plasmic cores and some combine bullets. Now that we know the boxes are trapped, Phil opens the next box. There is a trap, and 5 plasmic cores and a pistol made out of porcelain—it looks like it takes a plasm core. PowerArmor Bill wants to cut up the furniture, but I stop him, worried he will destroy valuable furniture. He’s careful, but as it turns out, the furniture is old. Bill finds a potato glowing with a strange green light. I recall [made a Luck roll] that this is a cure disease potato. I give it to our cook, Rocky, and inform him to prepare it for the next person who has a disease, but not before. There are also 6 Wumpus eggs. Phil and Digor nestle the 6 Wumpus eggs into the stuffing of the purple recliner. As Phil and skeleton Digor move the recliner, Phil notices it’s been scraped a bit and seems to be made of ivory. Digor offers that a Behemoth could have been the donor. We get back and Sharon and DimBulbBob are relaxing with drinks; obviously, they got the job done. Another 8 days and we arrive at the Porcelain Citadel. The Porcelain Princess and the Spectrum Satraps hate each other, which means the memory crystals won’t be unloaded here. So the thieves among us don’t have t deal with them right now if they don’t want to. 75 XP
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Oscar Diggs 04/16/2020 4:47 PM
Porcelain Princes are Wack [R09 Apr 2020] On to the Porcelain Citadel with our now working vehicle, some plasmic cores, and an indigo colored ivory couch. DISCARDED SHEELS Phil rips his pants on a piece of cinder slag. While I’m letting him know, Phil notices 4 ragged humans about 100 yards off. There is something … wrong with them. — — — UVG Metaphysics Aside: The self has three parts: the Ha, the Ba, and Ka, Ha: body Ba: personality — separates one consciousness from a different consciousness Ka: soul/animating force — — — We inform Sharona about the approaching dregs. SHARONA: Hey Bob, put on the breaks. The pathetic troop continue to approach. SHARONA: Grab your weapons. Don’t fire yet. They don’t have weapons. They have vacant expressions; some are drooling. I advance to within about 3 yards of them. OSCAR: [Holding my hand in a “halt” gesture] Good people. How may we help you. They notice me, maybe a drool a little more, and keep shambling towards us. OSCAR: Woe, woe, woe. The keep coming. I run back. Power armor Bill blasts one. Phil fires a bolt, but the thing dodges. Well, they can move fast when the want to. It’s now rushing Phil! I blast it with my Fusil. The giant skeleton Digor hacks another with a battle axe. Digor gets clawed by the reaming zombie(?). Brainy Soren swings his astrolabe at it, badly wounding it. It swipes at Digor again; minor damage again. Communist robot Collectivist Prime inspires us with a poem about rising up against the oppressing … emaciated humanoids. The zombie(?) attacks again, but fails to connect. Communist robot Collectivist Prime punches with his metal arm and drops it. 50 xp (edited)
16:47
Phil checks them out. The three that still have their skulls have been trepanned on three places equally spaced around their heads—looks infected. There is a silver fluid around the trepanation holes. Their tattered clothing used to bluish-grey jumpsuits. SHARONA: All clear! [She pounds on the hood of the truck.] PHIL: Have you seen anything like this before? Any idea what they are/were? SHARONA: The Vomes are violent mechanicals: machine minds from long long ago. They operate by capturing creatures and rewriting their source. On the other hand, the Porcelain Princes may have discarded some drones: they wear bodies, don’t you know. We’re a bit worried these four things might only be the beginning of something worse. Sharona doesn’t seem too worried about it. Communist Robot Collectivist Prime has a chat with the truck. The truck wants to head west, but complains its recursive frombulator is about 3 mm too large. We stop for the day and I spend the balance of the day whittling it down. TRUCK: Go faster! Go wester! Honk!!! Honk!!! Some much for stealth. Nothing around us seems to have been alerted. STINGING NETTLES During the first watch, something … lots of something are crawling toward us, just outside the campfire light. Dillon, the giant skeleton Digor’s dog, starts barking. Oh ya, it’s go time. Phil screams. Collective Prime’s ankles are being stung by ambulatory stinging nettles! Brainy Soren climbs onto the truck, but one of the little beasties stings him: his ankle is on fire, a rash is spreading. A lamp gets thrown into a dense knot of them, burning two of them up. I grab a log out of the fire and do some damage to these swarming little plant monsters. Brainy Rick also uses a fire log to drive them all away. 30 xp
16:48
PERCELAIN CITADEL The next morning we’re on the road again. That day is uneventful. The day after that, we arrive at the Porcelain Citadel in late afternoon. There are 20’-tall humanoid porcelain giants arrayed about every 15° around the city wall. They look identical. There is a camp set up outside the citadel; they gives these statues(?) a wide berth. SHARONO: Looks like we miss the Prince’s address today. As soon as the haze clears, we should hear about some trading tomorrow. Every night before dawn (or after sunset), a purple haze — a thick fog —descends. This will get worse as we had west. Power armor Bill learns that the porcelain robots will attack if you try to enter the city. The Porcelain Princes wear white porcelain masks. The Spectral Satraps wear brightly colored suits and glass helmets. The Spectral Satraps have need of memory crystals, the Porcelain Princes do not; so we’ll probably just sit on them for now. Brainy Soren chats up some others that are waiting around here. They overcame a vome infestation at some ruin. They said they didn’t get it all cleared out; we might find it still worth checking out.
16:48
Many-Cracks Five-Body The morning is purple and foggy, as per normal. The haze burns off about 8:30am. After that, two 7’ tall porcelain figures march out of the Porcelain Citadel—a door just appeared. They march in lock step and speak in unison. Porcelain Figures: This road leads to the high house. Only the penitent may enter. Porcelain Figures: We have a message. Who is Phil. [Power armor Bill points] Porcelain Figures: You and your compatriots have been selected to serve the Porcelain Prince. Come kneel before the porcelain throne and declare your allegiance. We all kneel to the Porcelain Throne, except Communist robot Collectivist Prime. Sharona looks upset she wasn’t invited. Porcelain Figures: [to Collectivist Prime] Remove yourself from our firing perimeter, you filthy communist. We are informed that our Phil has arranged a meeting with Many-Cracks Five-Body. We are lead down a few streets to a low flat rectangular building. We standing in front of 5 porcelain figures, they speak in unison. Many-Cracks Five-Body: Hello, we understand you have something for us. I do the talking for the party. They want a sample. They pass it around. On of them breaks it open and inhales the prismatic spray. As a group, they clearly enjoy the experience. They offer us 500-cash. Power armor Bill tries to negotiate with them for a jet pack. They want 200-cash for one. Or, we can looking into the disappearance of a distiller: We bring the vodka or the distiller, Bill gets a jet pack. Brainy Rick offers them rainbow apples. They’ll give us 50-cash for a 20-lot of rainbow apples. The cash are coins with a center hole; you carry them on a sting. Rick gives Sharana 38-cash, (nearly all of) her cut of the Rainbow Apples. I buy 6 plasmic cores and 6 provisions. Others stock up on weapons and grenades, you know, stuff we’ll need. We don’t see any reason to wait around, so we set out at noon to find the distiller.
16:48
SILVER WORMS 2 silver worms about 8’ long erupt from the ground on either side of us. One bites me (-3 stamina), but I manage to bash it away with my Fusil. Phil tags it with his grappling hook. It’s flowing silver blood tries to flow back into it. Collectivist Prime … raps about how villainous these worms are to attacking weary travelers. Rick hit the worm that Phil’s grappling hook attached to it. I blast it with my Fusil. Digor hacks it with his battle axe, cutting it in half. Silver stuff pours onto the ground, which tries to gather up, but ultimately fails; the worm collapses. The Other Worm: [to Collectivist Prime] How dare you accuse us of being… you are the lackeys of capitalist… It spits something at Collectivist Prime, misses. It tries to bit him; Collectivist dodges. COLLECTIVIST PRIME: Can’t you see they’re making us fight each other. Digor cuts it with his battle axe; silver oozes out of the wound, theN oozes back in. Digor is bitten, he worries poison has entered his arm. Silver is oozing from his wound. The worm attacks Bill next, a nasty bite right through his power armor, a fang enters his right shoulder and he feels the poison. I smack it with my Fusil, bruising it. Phil whiffs with his knife. Bill fires his fusil at point black. Silver sprays everywhere. 100 xp It’s pretty clear that some of us have been infected by Vome nannites. Bill took the worst of it, but insist we continue on. Bill: “Jet packs are cool!”. Shwew, I feel fine the next morning. We travel for bit and find ourselves at the edge of the distillery. There are orchids of cherry trees; they’re ripe, but unharvested. Hmm. 75 xp (and I’m up 6 plasmic cores, 6 provisions, and 47-cash) (edited)
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Heard a Who 04/16/2020 7:28 PM
Bill took the worst. Not Phil.
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Oscar Diggs 04/17/2020 4:39 AM
Edited.
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max-power™ 04/17/2020 7:07 PM
You drank what?!?!?!? 16 April 2020
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Adam Thornton 04/17/2020 7:23 PM
NIce.
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max-power™ 04/17/2020 7:39 PM
For easier consumption...
19:40
The party starts out at dusk on the rim of a large crater. Oscar and the mathmologist and the pole arm polecat are resting with the caravan or something Newcomers VNM (a void squid) and goose (a goose with a flaming head and spirit of vengeance) somehow have joined in the fun. The others in the party are Phil, Bill, Goose, VNM, Collectivist Prime, Rick and Digor (and Dillon). The crater is lined with what appear to be cherry trees. The bulk of the trees are glowing a ghostly blue color. Those immediately on either side of the path leading to a large brick structure in the middle of the crater, however are not glowing. A large sign over the path says “Vacily’s Cherry Orchard.” The party approaches the dark and empty looking distillery building. There are no lights to be seen inside. Bill knocks on the door. With no answer he tries the knob and the door swings open easily. Once inside security cameras can be seen in what appears to be a reception area. Bill doesn’t seem to care. He walks right up to the information terminal on the reception desk and begins looking for the CCTV feeds. Luckily there is a folder called WORK and inside the folder is a link that says “Security cameras”. Inspection of the feeds reveals a large number of dead looking people surrounded by puddles of an unidentified liquid.
19:40
Rick scouts the perimeter of the area and notices two tall structures behind the brick building connected to a large warehouse. After reporting back, the group decides to explore the warehouse through the large rollup doors at the back. Bill uses a plasmic core to rip one of the doors off. NVM: “Where I’m from, there’s heavy tariff on plasmic cores.” Bill uses Goose as a flashlight, to enter the building. The barrels are oddly widely spaced. Phil suggests bowling one barrel into another to see if they explode in proximity. Goose says “I’ve got no hands” but picks up the barrel anyway and bowls a strike. A flash of blue light washes over the group. A glowing blue ooze leaks out of the broken barrels. Phil walks toward it with hand outstretched. A voice from from the cosmos says “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Instead Phil is able to use just powers of observation to determine that they had all been irradiated. The party determines that they can only fit 3 of the 5 barrels they need into Rick’s wagon. They continue to explore. Goose chooses the left tall building to enter. The floor is covered in sticky cherry juice. The room glows blue. Bill’s Geiger counter is going crazy. There is a huge tank in the middle of the room with the top ripped off. Rick and Venom feel sick (Rick’s hair falls out). Digor feels inexplicably fantastic. Phil observes that one of the dead bodies is definitely the distiller wanted by the Porcelain Princes. Digor decapitates the distiller to bring his head back to the Porcelain Citadel. Bill convinces the group that if everyone is dead anyway, they won’t miss any valuables “There must be a safe!”.
19:41
The party returns to reception to find a safe. Bill finds the safe combination (000000000) on a sticky note. He then notices a large portrait of what turns out to be the founder and CEO Vacily. Collectivist Prime uses his knowledge of fine art to determine the painting is both counter revolutionary and relatively worthless. VNM slaps all the paintings off the walls. There is no safe. The group explores the building finally finding the office of the CEO, Vacily (there is a nameplate on the door). There is a large set of bookshelves between two doors behind a large and opulent desk. VNM and Bill slap the books off the shelves. One of the books emits a satisfying “click” and the door on the right slides open with an obnoxious “creeeeeeeaaaaaaak.” Inside the room is a cupboard. Bill opens the largest door to reveal the safe. After entering the code (000000000), the door slides open to reveal: 720 Cash of which 20 was left behind because it could not be divided evenly. +100 cash for all. Some paperwork which Bill kept A small red gun of undetermined origin. Collectivist Prime tried to communicate but was rebuffed. VNM kept the gun.
19:41
The party finds a tractor and small wagon in a shed. They return to the warehouse to pack up barrels. Bill suggests that maybe the brandy will be good for Vome infected. VNM helpfully shoots a hole in the barrel as Bill holds it over his head. After drinking deeply, he passes the barrel to Digore who also drinks. Both feel a rending of flesh and bone as a silvery liquid slips from their bodies. The liquid forms into two vaguely humanoid silvery figures. They don’t seem to be impressed with the rest of the party, but both Bill and Digor seem to be Vome free. Bill requests that they re-power his suit, and one of the Vomes seems so overwhelmed with cuteness that it obliges. The the party decides that it’s too creepy or something to stay at the distillery so the decide (unbelievably) to travel into the grassland to spend the first night a few miles from the orchard. +75 XP all around. It’s a 4 day trip back to the Porcelain Citadel because the tractor is so slow. Night 1 passes without incident. Day 1 passes without incident. Night 2 passes without incident. Day 2 the party encounters a group of 8 shepherds (2 of which are on horses) and 26 antelope blocking the road. The shepherds are armed and robed. VNM is driving the tractor and tries to use the unusually annoying horn on the tractor to move the herd without success. Phil wants to lob a stun grenade into the group with Digor protesting loudly. Digor tries to use an innate connection with animals to get the antelope to move on their own to no avail. VNM attempts to bribe the shepherd with 1 cash, then 2 cash. The offers are rejected. Goose lights his head on fire and Phil looks menacing. In order to avoid confrontation, VNM offers 5 cash which seals the deal. Phil and Goose gain menacing level 0.
19:42
The remainder of the journey is uneventful. On returning to the Porcelain Citadel two servants approach the group while they are still in their tent. Goose sends Digor out to deal with them. The servants ask politely for Collectivist Prime to kneel to the throne. Collectivist Prime “How about I don’t and you say I did.” Goose threatens to brand them with Collectivist Prime’s shin. The servants begin to run away, but are collared by Phil’s long fingers. As a group they all proceed to the Porcelain Citadel to meet with two apparitions of Many Cracks Five-Body. Digor tips the servants 1/2 cash each. The party presents Many Cracks Five-Body with the head of the distiller. The party describes the situation at the distillery including the explosion, the dead people, and the Vomes. In order to check the story Many Cracks Five-Body wants to check the Geiger counter logs, but Bill’s uncomfortable accepting a cable being plugged into the suit. Luckily Many Cracks travels with protection. Once the story is confirmed, Bill negotiates for two more jetpacks by offering two of the barrels of brandy. The jetpacks are given to Phil, Bill, and Goose. The jetpacks are powered by orange crystals and all are full when handed over. Goose abuses his immediately by screaming around the room. Bill sells the deed to the orchard (found in the packet of paperwork) to Many Cracks Five-Body for 1050 cash. +150 cash for everyone. The party trades the tractor, trailer and the 4 barrels for a Jeep that can keep up with a caravan. Goose offers to pay for a new sick paint job for Digor. Chrome it is! There are also flames. Bling!!!!! Goose pays 300 cash Goose wonders about corporate sponsorships for Collectivist Prime to cover his debt. The group ponders whether to head to the crypts on the map photographed by Bill, find a new caravan to travel with, or to find the caravan they stole from (why would you do that?). +400 XP for all. (edited)
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max-power™ 04/28/2020 5:47 PM
Transaction Action 23 April 2020 Party consisted of: Phil, Bill, Eusyram, Soren, Collectivist Prime, VNM (for the first 30 min or so), Rick and Digor
17:47
Open on the Porcelain Citadel: The party needs to decide where to go next. Options are: 1) The Last Serai (one week) — The old caravan (from whom the memory chips were stolen) are here, or at least on the way here 2) The Grass Colossus (two weeks) along the Vomish trail 3) Find another caravan and go with them 4) The crypt on the map photographed by Bill 5) Some other crazy idea There is some hesitation by the party in deciding where to go in part because neither of the obvious places is particularly appealing in terms of the possibly of getting ripped limb from limb. The Vomish trail has no outposts and is overrun by vomes. The Last Serai has the caravan the party stole from.
17:47
First, Digor has his axe painted to match the rest of him for 15 cash. Phil feels the wumpus eggs and can tell that they are vibrating and humming. The party finds a rare animal expert in the market. There is a very sad looking, but otherwise healthy Rhesus Macaque prominently displayed. The obvious unhappiness of the primate makes Phil wonder if the trader’s turtles are ok, and Digor was able to determine that they are healthy. Bill felt sorry for the Macaque and decides to buy the Monkey and name it Eauque (ook). Bill wants to get Eauque a meal, but Eauque’s choice is 250 cash. Eauque is disappointed but accepts a shared meal with Bill for 10 cash.
17:47
Aside, I’m a little unclear on the next part, but I think it’s mostly right: The group decides to consign one hatchling to the trader in the hopes of finding a buyer for the others, but it’s going to take at least a day for the eggs to hatch (only 5 out of the 6 hatch). Digor and the Soren will stay behind to make the transaction, the rest of the party decides to head back to the cherry orchard in the hopes of getting cherries to sell at the Last Serai (Phil has a notion that they will fetch a good price). The trader is able to sell the wumpus for 100 cash. Digor keeps one of the wumpus for himself and they sell the other three for 100 cash each directly to the buyer. +350 cash for the party
17:48
Before leaving the Porcelain Citadel to catch up with the rest of the party, Digor has his axe sharpened and gets a boost in damage until it gets dull again (+1 until he rolls snake eyes). The rest of the group makes the orchard without incident to find, luckily, that the Porcelain Princes have not taken possession of the property yet. The vomes from the last episode have gorged themselves on Cherenkov Cherries and are dead to the world on the ground. Bill and Phil surprise them and force them into lead lined barrels. Eauque likes the cherries. The group harvests enough cherries to fill 5 barrels and also collect 5 barrels of brandy. Eusyram helpfully suggests that maybe boiling the vomes in the barrels would be the appropriate route, but instead the vomes are left to think about what they’ve done inside the barrels with large “Do not open!” signage on the outside. Bill loots the buildings: +60 cash 3 pens
17:48
Now reunited, the party sets off for the Last Serai. The journey is largely uneventful. Digor names his wumpus Burt after a suggestion from Bill. Rick has an odd interaction with a static electric something or other and comes away with a slivery tint showing faintly around the eyes, nose, and mouth. Upon arriving at the Last Serai, Bill (or was it Soren) walk directly up to Dimbulb Bob and Sharona to say hello. They are obviously in bad spirits since somehow their memory chips have gone missing. Who could have known? The party convince Dimbulb and Sharon to carry on with them to the west. Surprisingly, they are willing to part with their truck to fund the journey. From the sale of the truck, the party gains: 130 cash (split 260 cash fifty fifty with Dimbulb and Sharona) 4 normal mules 1 recalcitrant mule Before leaving the truck with the new owner, Collectivist Prime looks the truck squarely in the headlights and says “Proletariat.” The truck responds “Go fast! Go west!”
17:48
Bill seeks out an arms dealer: Pooki. Bill says “%$#! a cat…” Bill spends 200 cash for: 4 normal grenades 1 launcher 1 screw driver to affix it to his suit Digor seeks out a person to make him some armor and spends 50 cash for an armor upgrade (odds light armor, evens medium armor). Bill finds Kate, the pen dealer. He sells the three pens to her. She buys the first for 30 cash, snaps the second in half because it’s a cheap knock off. She buys the third for 5 cash, but admits it is as valuable as the first pen, after the transaction. Bill: +35 cash
17:49
Rick is not really feeling ill from the silvery shine around his orifices, but the group convinces him to get checked out. The consult costs 50 cash. For another 100 cash the “doctor” was able to convince the vomes to find a “more suitable host” (a gerbil).
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max-power™ 05/05/2020 7:06 PM
Bill, we hardly knew you 30 April 2020 Party consisted of: Stella Nova, Phil, Bill, Rick, Digor, and Collectivist Prime (was useless due to the need to defrag hard drive) Henchmen: Dimbulb Bob, and Sharona VROOM, VROOM! Stella Nova pulls up to the group. “Where am I?” Phil admires the pristine ragtop that just arrived on the scene by probing every inch of it, inside and out. Stella explains that she has just arrived in the Last Serai from Mars. This seems remarkable to her, but the rest of the group seems somewhat unfazed. After a bit of discussion Stella agrees to join the group on their way west. Before the group sets out for Fallen Umber by way of the Way Stone, there is some trading that needs to be done.
19:06
Digor (I think) suggests converting Stella’s car to run on plasmic cores so that they don’t have to worry about finding gas. Sharona, it so happens, knows somebody who may know somebody to do the conversion. The group goes to a milk bar to meat with Erik. Bill is unimpressed with the chocolate milk selection. Erik does know a guy and the mechanic gives the party a stone that glows more red the closer they get to the shop. (Aside: I say a guy, but it was more of an amoebic mass) They head back to get Stella’s car. Along the way, Digor suggests that Bill donate some cores to Stella’s cause. “Get your own $@%#ing cores.” “What a core hog,” Digor thinks. Stella approaches a core vendor and tries to pay for cores with Martian dollars. She offers 5 Martian dollars for two cores, but the core vendor is not surprisingly somewhat skeptical of how valuable Martian currency would be in the UltraViolet Grasslands. He begrudgingly agrees to sell 1 core for 5 Martian dollars figuring it’s at least cool looking. One core is not going to get her far. For some reason, Rick and Digor agree to go in together to get her an additional 10 cores for 40 Cash. Rick: -31 Cash Digor: -9 Cash
19:06
They find the mechanic’s shop without incident and the conversion proves to be fairly trivial. Given that Stella spent the last of her money on 1 core a little while ago, she needs help with the fee for the conversion. Again, for some reason, Rick and Digor step in to fill the gap for the 100 Cash price tag. One core is used to test the conversion. The car can get 1 core per day on a normal pace. Rick: -74 Cash Digor: -26 Cash More shopping… Bill pays 10 Cash from some striped gazelle hides from a very shifty character. Because of some very calm driving from Stella, the, probably illicit, hides evade detection from wandering authorities, such as pocelain princes. For the trip, the hides are rearranged with the non-stripy part on the outside around the various things in Rick’s wagon. Bill: -10 Cash Bill wants a bigger gun gasp. He finds a gun vendor willing to sell him a comically large six shooter and six rounds for 150 Cash and his small pistolette. The gun is 14 inches long and 15 lbs. “He’s clearly compensating for something,” comments Stella. Bill: -150 Cash and -1 pistolette
19:07
Phil’s turn to shop. Phil finds a pedal powered vehicle shop and purchases a fat tire unicycle for 30 Cash. Being extremely adept at learning how to ride one wheeled things, Phil picks up the basics almost immediately. Wanting to stand out, Phil asks the store owner for some black leather chaps. Unfortunately, this is not the kind of riding material this store sells. He suggests a different kind of store around the corner where Phil successfully procures a pair of black leather chaps for 10 Cash. Phil: -40 Cash Finally, it’s time for some adventuring.
19:07
The first day and night go by without incident. Early on the second day the party sees a pentagonal tower of sorts come into view as they crest a hill. As they approach - ZZZAAAAAAPPPP-. Bill, who is leading the party, gets hit square in the chest by a powerful blaster bolt. He staggers backward. The whole building begins to hum staring low and getting higher and louder. The group takes shelter behind Rick’s wagon. Rick takes out his ballista and unleashes a single bolt at the device on top of the tower that appeared to have shot the blaster bolt. It appears to do little damage. Digor fires his Redland SMB at the device on top of the tower and makes contact, but with no apparent change. Stella begins driving at a safe distance around the tower in a southerly direction. Bill charges the tower and takes shelter against the wall of the tower. Enter the stone statues. Five emerge from the walls of the tower. Phil begins to unicycle away in the direction opposite to that taken by Stella, but also at a safe distance. One of the statues emerges next to Bill. The rest are distributed evenly around the building. They are clearly all interested in pummeling Bill. Rick manages to bullseye one of them with a ballista bolt right off the bat. Stella adds to the mix by driving between the encroaching stone statues and the rest of the party and kicking up enough dust to make it disorienting. Digor manages to axe a statue to dust in melee with a combo strike and shoot down the weapon on top of the tower before it can blast anyone else. With help from Dillon (barking to create a distraction) and Digor, Bill is able to subdue the final three. The newly acquired revolver came in handy as a club. +650XP for all -6 bullets for digor (edited)
19:08
Stella had noticed that one of the statues revealed a hole in the wall when it left and she goes to investigate. The party also notice that there is another, seemingly identical, tower a quarter of a mile further south. Amazingly, Bill doesn’t suggest they charge it. The party also notice the towers are not fixed to the ground but sit on many small feet, making them mobile, though this one doesn’t seem to be moving perceptibly. Phil and Euque climb to the tower. Stella enters the tower. It’s dark. There is a mummified body of an old man on a table in the middle of the room. There is a shiny dagger on the body’s chest and a small circlet on its head. Stella carefully pushes the two items onto the floor where she retrieves them for herself. The dagger seems completely un-aged from what she imagines it to look like when it was made. Stella: 1 dagger and 1 circlet
19:08
Digor enters. Stella asks what all the wires hanging from the ceiling and floors are for. “Dunno,” says Digor. Rick enters and surmises they must power the blaster cannon on the roof. Overhearing this Bill rushes in. “Did someone say electricity?” Bill figures he can recharge one of his cores by plugging it into the cables. Stella heads for the door. Digor starts backing away, while Rick watches with intrest. Bill pulls two cords from the walls accompanied by showers of sparks. He pulls a depleted core from his suit and plugs the cords directly into either end. There is an earsplitting bang and a blinding flash of light as the core explodes sending shrapnel in all directions. Bill is vaporized. Rick and Digor are knocked off their feet by the blast and shrapnel. Phil and Eauque are caught off guard by the explosion. Eauque is quick enough to escape with nothing but a singed tail. Phil is less lucky, but avoids death by executing a perfect backflip from the top of the tower. Stella steps from the doorway as the explosion escapes the building in time to frame her in a dramatic fiery burst as she calmly lights a smoke. RIP Bill. +200 XP for everyone but Bill Rick loots Bill’s body and gains 7 cores and a huge gun with 6 rounds. Rick: +7 cores and a comically large hand gun that he can’t wield without two hands and a support. End. +150 XP to all -1 provision for all Full stamina (edited)
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max-power™ 05/12/2020 9:41 AM
A Shocking Discovery 7 May 2020 Party: Phil, Soren, Collectivist Prime, Paretti (sp?), Eucyrum, Digor, Rick Phil takes another look at Bill’s body and it turns out Rick wasn’t as good at looting bodies as he thought. Phil finds another 5 grenades and a busted jet pack. Phil gives his perfectly good jet pack to Eucyrum who seems thrilled at the prospect. Phil keeps the busted jet pack. Eucyrum: +1 perfectly good jet pack Phil: +5 grenades, +1 piece of junk jet pack. Phil and Eucyrum would like to track a tower crypt if it happens by. They discuss using Bill’s fragmentary remains as a marker. They then hit on the idea of spreading Cherenkov Cherries that might be traceable via some sort of radiation detector. Eucyrum: “If only we had a Geiger counter then we would have something.” Phil: “Where did we leave the Geiger counter that Bill had on his suit?” Digor: “With Bill’s body I think” Eucyrum: “Well why didn’t you list that among our assets to begin with?” Phil is able to dislodge the instrument cluster from Bill’s suit. With some truly inspired poetry, Collectivist Prime is able to encourage himself enough to integrate the sensor with his own body. As the party are messing around with Bill’s suit, they notice strange things beginning to happen. Eventually, they notice one of Bill’s meat filled boots trying very slowly to escape the tomb. Eucyrum picks the boot up and makes the acquaintance of Paretti, a small winged individual with many-jointed fingers and pointy teeth. Digor donates some food which Paretti consumes gleefully. Paretti also seems to be ok, if not a little disgusted, to eat what remains of Bill inside the boot. Paretti joins the party and makes the boot home. Collectivist Prime: +1 integrated Geiger counter Paretti: +1 house (in boot form)
09:42
The party eventually decide to spread both Bill’s shattered suit as well as one barrel of cherries in a wide arc around the defunct crypt tower. They then their eyes west and head for the road. As night descends, the party looks for a place to camp. Phil climbs the tallest thing he can find. What he assumes is the Way Stone looms far to the west. More nearby there is a depression next to a small stream that is hidden from the road. Eucyrum takes the first watch and notices a large (3 meter) centipede advancing north toward the camp. He takes the opportunity to rouse the party and returns to his lookout. The centipede with a blonde youth’s face and perfect hair and giant mandibles passes far enough away that it does not notice the camp. Eucyrum is able to get close enough to decipher that the creature is actually a mechanical. He trails it for some distance but decides not to engage. As he turns to go back to camp, he catches the faintest hint of jasmine oil on the breeze. He informs the rest of the camp of his findings. All return to their bed rolls and the rest of the night passes without incident. Before leaving the next day, Paretti agrees to let Rick wash out the homeboot and hides in his hat as he does so. On the third day the party can see a green obelisk emerging over the western horizon. With great excitement Eucyrum uses his jet pack to boost into the sky to get a lay of the land. He estimates the Way Stone is a 2-3 day journey to the west. He also notices a group of four individuals with ox carts and such on a track parallel to their own 2-3 miles away. They are stopped and their direction of travel isn’t immediately obvious. After imparting what he has learned, the group unanimously agrees to go talk to the strange caravan. (edited)
09:43
After an hour of travel the party comes within shouting distance. Eucyrum hails the caravan and approaches. The party see that two red haired twin sisters appear to be poring over a map a little way off. The leader of the group seems to be a dwarf who looks oddly familiar with a hairless pate and a long beard. The party agrees the beard is a bit longer than they expected, but also can’t place where they have seen this visage before. The dwarf informs them that he and his companions are searching for the burial place of the “Dragon Also Rises” a being from the Long, Long Ago. Vast riches can be found in such a place, but they are uncertain they are digging in the correct place. It turns out the mechanical Eucyrum had seen is actually “The Dispenser of Wisdom.” The dwarf got a tip for the small price of the smallest bone on one of the twin’s pinkies. Soren tries to decipher the map the twins are using, but only gets a slightly unsettled feeling about the whole situation. The dwarf describes the location where the tomb should be located as being near a cleft between two large mounds. The party huddles together and decides that they will attempt to find the location of the real tomb. With some vague directions and a vivid mental picture of butt shaped hills they proceed toward possible riches. The party bids farewell to the red haired twins, the dwarf, and the porcelain prince (yes he was there too). At some point in this whole process, Rick gives Collectivist Prime his comically large revolver and Collectivist Prime, probably with the help of some poetry, is able to replace his right hand with the revolver. He’s now a gun with a gun.
09:43
As the party travels, they recall the description from the dwarf of what they can expect to find inside the tomb. First, they will find a lake of mercury covering the entrance to a cavern. Inside the cavern will undoubtedly be many traps, mechanicals, and undead to make absconding with the riches as difficult as possible. Soren muses that the mercury is probably electrified. In the distance they see two humps heave into view. They must be on the right track. Near the terminal end of the cleft between the hills, the party discover an oddly symmetrical depression. Eucyrum uses his shovel attachment to begin to shift the rust chips and dust from the center of the depression, he quickly discovers mercury and begins trying to define the outer edge of the pool. The mercury is clearly not going anywhere on its own. Rick tries to make some sort of slurry that could be transported away in solid form and fails badly. Paretti pipes up to say “I’m not saying I can control the weather or anything, but if you wanted this to be struck by lightning, you’d say so, right?” Having no other ideas they decide a lightning bolt is probably the best they can do. Digor takes off running in the other direction with the memory of Bill’s demise fresh in his empty skull. The rest of the group retreats to a “safe” distance. A cracking fills the air and a blinding flash fills the small depression missing the pool of mercury by a good bit.
09:43
Everyone in the party is electrocuted to some extent. Least affected is Digor since he was running as fast as his bony feet would carry him away from the area from the word go. Only Paretti, Phil, and Soren remain standing. A quick look around show Rick lying flat on his back, but breathing. Eucyrum is also unconscious, but looking somehow healthier than before. Collectivist Prime is on his back with charred components emitting acrid smoke from most of the openings in his body. Thinking quickly Soren and Phil begin reciting his poetry back to him. First unsurely, but gaining in confidence, they chant his work back to him with increasing intensity and vigor. Eucyrum: +1 stamina As the pair recite, Collectivist Prime sees his own body as he floats higher. The dwarf from earlier in the day materializes in front of him, but no, it’s not the dwarf. It’s Karl Marx. Karl turns to look Collectivist Prime in the eye and says “Your work here is not yet done, Collectivist Prime.” As he floats back toward his mangled body, he hears, softly at first, but growing louder, his own poetry being recited poorly, but with admirable conviction. He shudders and opens his eyes, glad to be not dead. Camp. All +500 XP (edited)
☠️ 1
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max-power™ 05/20/2020 5:26 PM
“High” hopes 14 May 2020 Party: Phil, Collectivist Prime, Digor, Rick, and enter Merlin As the party wakes from its slumber, Phil notices a purple robed individual approaching along the road. As he nears several features are apparent: a bindle with a very long staff, purple from head to toe, a column of purple smoke rising about him and glowing purple eyes. Phil interrogates the newcomer (Merlin) about who he is and where he is going, but it’s clear that he is just on a journey of discovery, man. Merlin offers Phil a blue jelly and takes one himself. Phil gains +1 to awareness temporarily. (edited)
17:27
The group turns attention back to the mercury pond. Merlin offers to use second sight to try to discern what is going on. Using a purple crystal with a cat’s eye (not sure real or gemstone) in it to peer into the pond. He can see a smooth curved bottom with a circular orifice in the center. After a lot of wondering what to do, Collectivist Prime sticks his communication cable into the mercury to attempt communication. The guardian of the portal to the tomb decides to make an appearance since the poetry was the least terrible it has heard in a long time. It may also be lonely and bored. The bottom of the crater begins to spin and as it does so, the mercury creeps up the slope. The party retreats up the slope out of reach of the spinning mercury. As soon as the doorway in the center of the crater is revealed, it opens and a large stalk with what looks like a metal lotus flower on top telescopes out of the hole. The guard flower is so happy with the mediocre poetry that it invites the whole group in to see a detailed diorama of the life and times of the “Dragon also Rises.”
17:27
Merlin works with Collectivist Prime to try to raise the metal flower’s consciousness. Collectivist Prime transforms into a boom box (possibly wearing a beret) to allow Merlin to project his funky beats all the way to the center of the flower. Merlin beat boxes a perfect imitation of bongos playing the funkiest beats ever in 19/4 time. This melds with the flower’s 19 bit interface in a way that makes it sway and pulsate with color. For some reason, and without telling either Collectivist Prime or Merlin, Phil and Rick scheme to shoot a grenade strapped to a ballista bolt into the hole at the flower’s base. After affixing the grenade to the tip of the bolt and fitting it into the folding ballista, Digor runs like hell in the other direction (with his pets). Rick fires the bolt and it strikes perfectly in the center of the hole. The crater suddenly stops spinning making the mercury slosh about wildly. Amazingly the party escapes any sort of contamination. The flower stalk lists precariously as the flower itself begins firing lasers aimlessly.
17:27
After the mercury drains down the center hole, the group decides to investigate as the flower does not seem to be capable of defending the hole anymore. Rick takes a few steps in and ends up with a cohoe full of mercury. Digor offers to amputate Rick’s foot to save him from the mercury, but a voice from above informs them that it’s really only the fumes that are dangerous, so Rick’s foot is saved. The crew is out of ideas, so they decide to go back to see if the dwarf, twins, and porcelain prince have any ideas. Lazlo Montague III (the dwarf) and Merlin trade smokeables. Even with such a nice gesture, Lazlo is unconvinced the party is telling him the whole truth. As evidence, Rick shows Lazlo his mercury soaked sock. This does the trick and Lazlo and Guilded Three Body (the emancipated porcelain prince) decide to join the party for a bit of treasure hunting with the expectation that the split will be 50/50 with the party taking the first cut.
17:28
The party travels back to the crater and camp on the ridge. In the night the flower comes to enough to begin retreating into the tomb. Phil is on watch and manages to get a grappling hook around the stalk. Phil wakes up the camp and Collectivist Prime is able to convince the flower that we are here to help, surprisingly. The group decides not to go back to bed, but instead decides it would be best to go into the tomb. They stand on the lip of the dark shaft leading into the tomb, and…… +300 XP for all
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max-power™ 05/28/2020 3:08 PM
What did you do?!?!? Oh… you took a boat ride. 21 May 2020 Party: Phil, Soren, Collectivist Prime, Eucyrum, Paretti, Rick, Digor NPCs: Montegue IV, Guilded 3 body, twins (Are Dimbulb and Sharona with us?) The session starts off with Collectivist Prime robosplaining how to be a pixie to Paretti. Phil offers Paretti honey and bananas (I did not know Phil had honey and bananas). Paretti is very grateful. The group stares into the dark opening to the tombs below. There is a double helix of stairs, one is obviously the in and one is obviously the out (it has a gate opening outward). The party thinks for a while and eventually Paretti volunteers to fly down the space between the stairs to have a look and comes back to report a red door and a blue door at the bottom of the shaft. Eventually, the party decides to just go down the “in” stairs. Once no the floor at the bottom of the stairs they pull in the damaged avatar of “The Dragon Also Rises.” It snakes down through a hole in the floor. As it recedes from sight it shouts “Thank you friends!!!!!” The red door is at the bottom of the “in” stairs. Of course Eucyrum tries the blue “out” door by using a suction cup attachment to pull the door slightly open so that Phil can use a thief’s tool to pick the latch. The party proceeds through the out door. The room is clearly a gift shop. Paretti finds a key chain to use as a shield. Phil notices an obscured door behind the counter. Working together, Eucyrum and Phil attempt to open the door using stacks of refrigerator magnets and a control pad on the wall that seems to operate the door. After a few attempts the door swings open. (edited)
15:09
Eucyrum enters the room to a strong smell of burnt coffee. The lights flicker on and he can see a room of cubicles with mummified humanoids and bricked robots at some of the desks. Montegue IV issues “recovery protocol IV,” and Xena and Sena go to work looting the bodies. Paretti asks Eucyrum for teeth and fingers. “Just put them in my boot.” +20 teeth for Paretti. The group scouts around some more. They what looks like a changing room and end up in a room with three open cars floating in a disturbing blue liquid after trying a few things and not getting very far, it becomes clear this is the end of a water ride. The whole team decides it may be better to just go through the thing the way it was meant to be seen. Through the red door, the party sees a serpentine set of railings. Soren proceeds through the maze to find a hat with two dangling appendages. He puts it on and the dangly things fix into his ears. It’s the A/V for what is clearly a ride. Everyone gets a beanie except for Phil who sneaks through without one by hanging onto Digor’s leg and Paretti who holds it on top of the key chain. Dillon hates the hat. One by one they push through the door after putting on the personal A/V hats.
15:10
Through the door are more cars floating in the same blue liquid. Please see the transcript for the narration of the diorama the group witnesses starting here: diorama.txt. What a show. The group decides not to explore any more in the staff area of the “Dragon Also Rises” welcome center. Instead they decide to go down the same hole as the avatar to see what riches may be in store. Do they go to level two, or all the way down to level three? Tune in next week (or in this case in 2.5 hours) to find out. +300 XP each
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Oscar Diggs 05/29/2020 10:07 AM
Use the Table of Contents to quickly jump to my most recent play report. There are pictures! OscarDiggs.pdf (edited)
10:08
If the link above doesn't work, just find the Oscar Diggs Astronishing Tales.pdf link from my PCs website. http://captainjoy.chunkyboy.com/PCs/PCs.php (edited)
PCs
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Oscar Diggs 05/29/2020 10:17 AM
Ignore the misspellings, unless it's your name, then I want to know.
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max-power™ 05/29/2020 11:08 AM
I think he promised 150XP for the report 🙂
11:08
At least that's what I heard.
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Adam Thornton 05/29/2020 3:07 PM
Yeah, 150 per session, in fact!
15:07
I didn't realize you were doing this!
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Heard a Who 06/04/2020 5:56 PM
My name is Phil Angst
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Adam Thornton 06/04/2020 6:17 PM
@The Hamberdlar I am confused; are you skipping the game entirely, or are you not supplying Zoom (either is an OK answer).
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The Hamberdlar 06/04/2020 6:18 PM
is neither ok?
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Adam Thornton 06/04/2020 6:18 PM
Well Meet seems to be working OK and since Shoe isn't coming I think everyone can use it.
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max-power™ 06/04/2020 7:14 PM
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richardgrenville 06/04/2020 7:57 PM
oh no
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max-power™ 06/04/2020 8:00 PM
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max-power™ 06/04/2020 8:21 PM
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20:23
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20:24
luminous orange/tangerine vapor in the arch.
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max-power™ 06/04/2020 8:48 PM
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Adam Thornton 06/04/2020 9:07 PM
So, I want to retcon something.
21:07
Those soul-containing ellipsoids?
21:08
They're actually truncated four-sided pyramids. Maybe 3/4" at the base, a bit more than 1/2" at the top, and instead of being flat, the top surface is a little concave.
👍 2
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richardgrenville 06/05/2020 4:44 AM
is the wider foot of the pyramid slightly softer/more pliable than the rest?
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Adam Thornton 06/05/2020 7:25 AM
No, all seems pretty stony. They are still smooth polished stone, translucent, a soul swirling within each.
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Jack Tatters 06/05/2020 8:21 AM
Oh shit oh shit I was the zoom host. Fuck.
08:22
I'm so sorry, friends. Thst shit went way longer than I thought last night and I gave several people rides home. I'm sorry.
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Heard a Who 06/05/2020 8:23 AM
Glad you got home!
💯 1
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Adam Thornton 06/05/2020 10:07 AM
Yeah, no problem. Since you were the only person having trouble with Meet, we used it, and it was perfectly OK. Pretty sure that protesting is more important than playing an RPG for a couple hours.
💯 1
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Jack Tatters 06/05/2020 11:46 AM
Aww, still I'm sorry I let you guys down. I'll be there next time for sure!
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max-power™ 06/11/2020 4:00 PM
I’m very sorry this report sucks so bad. 4 May 2020 Party: Collectivist Prime, Phil, Rick, Digor (with pets) Remember that the nereid gave the group a set of vaguely tetrahedral vessels that contain the souls of former visitors to the tomb of the DAR. One belongs to the Elvin hero Sildenafil. The party chooses to wade through the pond to the doors on the other side. Rick helps the nereid sedate Shock the eel by searching Merlin’s pockets for jellies. He gives two mango jellies to the nereid who feeds them to Shock. The group wades/swims across and proceeds through the doors. Phil “borrows” the haft of Eusyram’s poll arm and attaches a poll attachment to make a 10 foot poll. This serves as a probe as the party proceeds down the hallway. The corridor opens onto a room with frescos of two groups battling. One group is red, the other is purple. The doors to the right open to the room the group just left. “Hi. Nice to see you again,” the nereid says. To the left the corridor continues with a similar fresco motif. A large gold sun over a pyramid draws attention. It turns out to be a door to a hidden hallway.
16:00
The hallway tees into another passage with all sides matte black. The passage begins to tilt. A juggernaut shaped like an elephant begins to advance on the party. They will be crushed or slip into the inferno below unless someone does something. Phil attempts to blow it up with two grenades and bunglers it massively, but luckily the grenades damage the floor of the tunnel enough that the juggernaut is trapped. A boulder also tries to kill the group, but somehow they all escape from the furnace, the juggernaut and the boulder. Inspection of this corridor reveals nothing of interest. Back to the frescoed hall. There is a hidden door opposite the sun image. Rick takes the gold disk door. Phil goes through the hidden door. Rick: +1 gold plated aluminum disk. Enter the Reliquary of Enidra (sp?). Phil pockets a copper fish. Montague IV implements a protocol 73. The alter is a portal to another room and everyone descends. Phil: +1 copper fish thingy
16:00
They find a temple area with similar decorations on the walls, but these appear to be zombies. Scenes of pastoral family life. In the middle of the room is an alter with a faint blue glow. There is no radiation emanating from the alter. There is an archway glowing with eerie orange light. Digor sticks his head through and his skeleton changes some (in a way that a trained physician would notice appears to be a female skeleton). Collectivist Prime is unimpressed as he can reconfigure as necessary. Dillon runs through the arch and comes back as Joan. Digor throws the skeleton from the floor next to the alter through the glowing orange arch. It comes back through and is clearly (to a physician) a male skeleton. Digor turns back into old Digor. Phil decides to touch the alter (of course). The alter begins to hum and shoots out a bolt of electricity which destroys the opposite wall. Somehow the group finds a way to put a Faraday cage on the alter. Phil attaches a Faraday net to Eusyrum’s pole.
16:01
The party goes through the broken wall and into a chamber with broken but antique furniture and tattered curtains over the doors. There are many small coffers scattered about the room. Phil (I think?) is able to open one of the coffers and finds 52 silvery (platinum) coins. The group agrees with Lazlo that he can take the contents of the remaining 23 coffers if they can have anything else they find (this is the 50/50 agreement reached before entering the tomb). I thought we had agreed to this, but Sam tells me that’s not true. Phil: +52 platinum coins 700XP for all
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max-power™ 06/16/2020 5:21 PM
Merlin, we have something for you… Party: Collectivist Prime, Rick, Digor, Parettti, Phil
17:22
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17:22
First the group asks Lazlo to search the room with Zena, Sena, and III Era. “Protocol 2b” shouts Lazlo. Zena opens the first coffer and a large green snake springs out and bites Zena. III Era smashes the snake while Sena offers medical assistance to Zena. “Phew, that was a close one. Protocol 2c!” says Lazlo. This requires them to probe each coffer with a long pole and slows down the search significantly. While the search is ongoing, Rick tries to convince the group to give the loot from this room to Lazlo and his crew in exchange for anything else found in the tomb. He is quickly talked out of this since that would just mean that Lazlo’s crew would have no reason to hang around for the rest of the dungeon. All: +457 platinum pieces (Lazlo estimates 10 cash each) and 24 gems Paretti: +1 gem Phil wonders if the captured souls are a fuel source and looks at the braziers in the room and determines that the have been used to burn somthing but not clear what. Collectivist Prime attempts to smash through the wall behind the tapestry on the left. Crash! A hidden door is revealed, which slides open by about 4 inches. As he pulls back to admire his work the tapestry falls to the floor forming a corrosive green slime monster and begins inching toward the group. “19b! 19b!” screams Lazlo. Zena produces a Molotov cocktail and hurls it at the slime. The slime erupts into thick, black, acrid smoke. Everyone who can cough is coughing and Phil and Paretti are virtually incapacitated. Paretti summons enough strength to call the wind to carry the smoke out of the room.
17:23
Lazlo and Collectivist Prime turn to look at the tapestry on the right side of the room. It is decorate in a garish under sea motif. “This tapestry is hideous,” remarks Lazlo. Inside Collectivist Prime feels a pang as he realizes that he was thinking how much he’d like to take it back to his lair to fit in with the rest of his aquatic themed decor. They burn the right tapestry as a precaution. This reveals a door with a warning sign on it. Before continuing on, the party sleeps.
17:23
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17:23
Through the left hand door that Collectivist Prime had found. After some wandering around, the party finds a set of bronze doors that open in. Phil peaks through a crack in the doors and sees that they are back to the room with the crayfish, 8 foot hermit crab and the katana. They enter. Rick again searches Merlin’s pockets for jellies and gives one to the crayfish who takes it happily. Rick approaches the crab with a gem in one hand and a jelly in the other. The crab takes the gem. Rick reaches for the katana, but the crab also reaches for the katana. Collectivist Prime recites what, to him, is a perfectly reasonable piece of crab poetry, but the crab disagrees and lashes out and hits Collectivist Prime. He responds by shouting “Does anyone have any butter???” and blasts the crab with his fusion cannon. Phil is trying to subdue the crab with his grappling hook, Collectivist Prime is trying to blast the crab again, Joan is barking. “WTF dudes?” asks Digor. Rick manages to hit the crab right between the eyestalks. Paretti attempts to stab the crab in a joint, but the crab manages to parry. It attempts to retreat with the sword, but is foiled by Phil’s hook. Collectivist Prime tells a sad poem and the crab slinks away. Digor is clearly upset with the rest of the group that they would attack an innocent crab. Collectivist Prime takes the katana. Collectivist Prime: +1 katana Group: -1 gem
17:24
As they party stands before an ominous door with the same warning sign seen before, but this time red on black. Collectivist Prime looks sadly down at the katana in his hands. Paretti looks over at him. “What’s the matter? Don’t you know how to use it?” Collectivist Prime shakes his head slowly. Paretti says “Don’t worry. I do” and begins to pry a panel of of Collectivist Prime’s head. Once inside Paretti starts poking around at Collectivist Prime’s “brain” and is able to puppet master the large robot. “I have no choice about any of this,” thinks Collectivist Prime. Phil borrows Eusyrum’s 11 foot pole again. As they stand before the dark entry way DIgor is fed up and says “Screw it, let’s go.” The foolish party enters. A grey computer looking thing floats up from the floor. Some of its keys are replaced with gems. “I SHALL CONSUME YOUR SOULS!!”
17:24
Digor: “We saw the nereid and she would love a visit.” DAR: “Uh OK” Paretti: “Did you have an issue?” DAR: “Ahem. I’ll eat your soul.” Collectivist Prime scans the DARs RS-232 ports. DAR: “The nereid was not that into me. I think she was just chasing paper.” Paretti: “She didn’t appreciate you.” DAR: “She was always asking if I brought her more souls.” Paretti: “She should have appreciated you.” Rick: “She said you broke up with her.” Paretti: “My best advice is that you need to set boundaries.” DAR: mumble mumble “Stay here. I’ll eat your souls later.” The Dragon Also Rises leaves through the door you came in through. Phil disables the charger the DAR was resting on. Digor asks “Lazlo, what should we do?” They find a hidden door. Rick searches around the room but finds nothing. The party finds themselves back at the spiral stair case. Will they continue further into the bowels of the tomb or return to the surface to continue their quest toward the black city? +1000XP
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max-power™ 07/02/2020 2:54 PM
And just when it was starting to grow back from that incident at the orchard… Party: Collectivist Prime, Phil, Rick, Digor and Paretti The party find themselves standing on the round platform separating level 2 from level 3. Phil exclaims “Let’s go back in the Dragon also Rises’ cave!” Back they go. The group asks Lazlo if there is any treasure in the room “There either is or there isn’t.” After some looking around Collectivist Prime smashes through the plastic housing around the DAR’s charger. There are cords and cables far larger than seem necessary for charging purposes. Collectivist Prime notices a significant uptick on his Geiger counter. Which leads him to find a cylinder that clearly contains something very radio active. The cylinder is 6x12 with radiation danger symbols. Lazlo and co. are pressed against the wall. Collectivist prime can tell there is significant current running through the cables under the charging bay. Luckily Lazlo has some lead foil and the group uses this and shards of the plastic housing to mitigate the escaping radiation. Phil suggests taking the canister out of the cave to make it harder for the DAR to find. The party exists the tomb and buries the canister 50 feet from the edge of the metal disk that once held the mercury pool. The group takes a load off while the twins make coffee. After lunch the troupe descends again and this time through the hole in the platform between 2 and 3. Phil goes through first and notices a trap door. The rest of the group pulls it open and descend further. There is a door with a warning sign straight ahead. Below them, the group can see at the very base of the column supporting the stairs is a pool of mercury with a channel flowing off in one direction. They notice also a dent in the railing that looks distinctly like it could have been made by the avatar as it snaked back down.
14:55
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14:55
As Collectivist Prime sees the warning sign, he says “Hey, I recognize that bot as a murder bot from the long, long ago. It’s a Trisborc Model 31. There’s a well known exploit of it’s discriminate killing system making it indiscriminate. Coming to think of it kill bots that kill everybody are better than kill bots that only kill some.” Lazlo backs away. Collectivist Prime mumbles something inaudible, but may have included the word racist. Collectivist Prime and Phil manage to pick the keypad barring entry to the door. Through the door. There is a loud sound of fans and hot, dry air whooshing through the door (316 K). Just inside the door is a bank of what look like servers with all the normal cabling and the air is rushing through from the other side. Collectivist Prime is able to plug into the local network and begins to look around. He can gain access to several of the security camera feeds. The camera at the nereid’s beach is notably deactivated. He gets the sense of annoyance and amusement from somewhere on the network. Video feeds show silvery crabs working on kill bots. The crabs may be made of mercury. Collectivist Prime transmits a sense of calm, but perhaps does not have a full grasp on the 19 bit protocol used in this network as all that is returned is “Syntax Error.” Collectivist Prime somehow figures out how to connect to the network wirelessly. Paretti starts flipping off, mooning and disabling the cameras with gum. Phil pitches in with disabling the cameras. Collectivist Prime tries again project good vibes about the party. Lazlo finds a “door” that is made up of those vinyl strips you sometimes see in front of grocery store cold cases. Inside the air is cold. This are seems to be made up of cold corridors that vent through racks of servers into the hot air reclamation corridors.
14:56
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14:56
Phil wants to take the vinyl strips down to hamper the cooling ability. Digor takes great pride in slashing them down with his axe. Phil asks Lazlo to cover the air vents with plastic sheeting, and he obliges. The group sees that the pretty green LEDs on the fronts of the servers all start blinking yellow and then start turning red in some cases. Clomp, clomp, clomp “I think there’s someone coming,” says Phil. Collectivist Prime says “Chill…” to the network all he hears back is “You’re cute” and the distinct feeling of anger. Collectivist Prime says “If you’re the DAR, then who is the DAR we met.” He hears back “I’m the DAR, they are the DAR, we are all the DAR.” A feed of the DAR vaping with the nereid comes into view. “Take a little loot and get out or I’ll have to hurt you,” says the DAR. The footsteps get nearer. Collectivist Prime activates the exploit. The footsteps stop and then the sound of fighting emerges from around the corner. Eventually, there is only one murder bot left and that one is dispatched easily by a might blow from Digor’s axe.
14:56
The group exits the server room through a door onto a catwalk above the floor of the tomb. They can see the pool of mercury around the base of the column holding the staircase. They descend a set of stairs to the floor not far from the mercury pool. Silvery crabs can be seen scurrying around near a moat of mercury that seems to encircle the room. In the moat are a series of empty pedestals. There is a circle of actinic blue light radiating from a patch of the floor not far away. Despite all indications that it would most probably be disastrous to do so, Rick pulls open the circular cover. Rick is bathed in blue light. His hair all immediate falls out (again) and he begins vomiting uncontrollably. The cover falls back into place slightly askew. The sliver crabs helpfully place it back in a perfect arrangement. Lazlo pulls a syringe from his case and administers an antidote to Rick who still looks miserable, but is able to stop vomiting. Digor carries Rick away from the circle and puts him on the ground. Paretti: Hey Rick I can have all your stuff if you die, right? I’m your best friend. I’m your favorite, right? Rick: Fine. Collectivist Prime receives a transmission: “Ha ha ha. That was the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen. Oh, by the way, these gummies are good.”
14:56
Paretti: Does anyone have anything round, like a button or a coin, or something? Zena: Here are 50 copper coins. Paretti puts 47 of the coins in the boot and makes honey cakes remaining three coins. Phil sticks a finger in one and licks it. Paretti shoots Phil a look and threatens to bite his finger off. Digor menaces Phil. Phil does not appear to care. Rick eats the delicious honey cakes, “I love honey cakes.” The group notices two more murder bots on the walkway re-entering the server room. They are followed by some sliver crabs that melt under the door like liquid. Paretti does some recon and sees that not all the pedestals are empty. Some have murder bots standing atop. Digor: By the way, Collectivist Prime, are you ever going to give that katana to Merlin? Collectivist Prime: He’s so high he’ll never miss it. Paretti does some more recon to see where the various cameras in the room are pointing. As the image fades to black we are left wondering, what will this band of intrepid explorers going to do next? Will there be more murder bots? Will they ever move on to start heading for the black city again? We’ll have to wait three more hours to find out. 400XP (edited)
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Heard a Who 07/02/2020 5:58 PM
I thought the crabs were working on the avatar, not on killbots
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max-power™ 07/02/2020 5:59 PM
Oh I didn't get that.
17:59
I didn't think we saw the avatar body.
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Adam Thornton 07/02/2020 5:59 PM
You did. It was being worked on by crabs.
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Heard a Who 07/02/2020 5:59 PM
through the vid feed/
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max-power™ 07/02/2020 5:59 PM
Oooooh, right.
17:59
Coming back to me now.
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max-power™ 07/09/2020 5:01 PM
July 2: We should have gone this way first. Party: Phil, Paretti, Merlin, Rick, Digor, Collectivist Prime The party is till in the large room with the mercury pool and moat. The pedestals in the moat seem to be charging stations for the murder bots. A murder bot comes out carrying what look like murder bot pieces. Silver crabs accompany it also carrying bits of murder bots. The crabs walk into the mercury moat and meld with the mercury. The bot pieces float for a moment and then slowly submerge. Through the gloom the party can see the body of the avatar lying on the ground being worked on by numerous sliver crabs. Rick asks Collectivist Prime to communicate with the avatar. “Eh, let’s move on,” says Collectivist Prime. “Let’s hit the snake arch!” Says Lazlo. On the way back through the server room, Phil decides to blow the place up. He pretends to tie his shoe and takes a protective panel off the bottom of one of the server racks. Digor charges at the bot behind them. Collectivist Prime lands an arm cannon blaster shot at the bot in front of them. Joan follows Digor and tries to bit the bot behind, but gets clamped by the bot. Paretti knocks a ceiling tile on top of the bot in front. Eauque follows suite and starts knocking tiles to the floor. Merlin cowers in fear behind the much more diminutive Phil.
17:01
Digor takes a blow from the bot and there is a loud cracking sound of bones breaking. The bot fires at Phil who somehow manages to dodge even with Merlin clinging firmly to his back. Digor’s eyes grow noticeably wider and he says “Don’t get hit by that blaster!” Phil starts throwing crumbled ceiling tile into the server racks and then attempts to pull a server out of the rack. Something comes out, but it is too hectic to examine it close. Merlin is mumbling something in the middle of the room, but nothing seems to be happening. One of the bots shoots at Rick, but he is also able to dodge. After surviving he takes a handkerchief from his pocket and dramatically wipes his brow. The bot again clamps Joan who is forced to retreat to the relative safety of the center of the server room. Digor is again punched by the bot and the sound of rending bone can be heard above the din of the battle. Digor lands a monstrous blow that severs the bot’s arm. Digor sticks the arm through the chest of the bot and it keels over backward. Paretti buzzes the bot in front causing it to be distracted. Rick manages to land a couple of strong crossbow blows. Collectivist Prime continues to do consistent damage. The bot gets one more blaster shot off at Rick who, again, manages to evade.
17:01
Phil rolls a grenade into the gap under the server that was once covered by the protective panel. Eauque sees this and significantly freaks out. Eauque is no dummy and realizes the danger. Joan with Eauque’s help follows Phil heading for the way out. Digor chops at the servers and the lights go out. “Book it!” Shouts Digor. Almost simultaneously, Rick lands a hit that spears the bot’s chest. Electricity arcs and frayed wired protrude from the bot’s fractured chest. It blinks once and crumbles in a heap. The party runs for the door and burst through in a brilliant scene of perfect cinematic pyrotechnics as the grenade explodes behind them. The party is standing on the platform on the second level down. 12 pairs of bot boots can be heard coming up the stairs from level 3. Paretti hides in the boot. Luckily the same exploit Collectivist Prime tried before works again and the bots turn on each other. All are destroyed in the resulting melee.
17:01
In the following relative calm the party is able to catch their collective breath. Zena and Cena help Joan who is seriously hurt. Lazlo passes around energy bars to help the general energy level of the party. Collectivist Prime takes a look at the surveillance camera network. The Dragon Also Rises is back in the charger room. The party avoids the nereid and go by way of the crab room instead. The crab is huddled a corner of its room. “Mmmm. Melted Butter.” Digor jabs Collectivist Prime in the ribs and glowers. They arrive at the snake arch. There is 19 bit poetry around the arch that appears to be the key to the whole tomb. “Well this would have been nice to have from the start,” says Lazlo. Phil probes the entrance with Eucyrum’s pole. The room appears to have no floor. Digor takes a lantern to the edge and looks over. There are many, many skeletons all with various pieces of valuable stuff. He then promptly falls in the pit. He would blend in with the other skeletons except he is seven feet tall and painted with chrome and flames. Rick to Lazlo, “Protocol 43?” Zena and Cena go in. Cena finds a magical sword. This could be good. As the group is wondering what untold riches they could be about to unearth, heavy metal bars clang down in the snake arch trapping the group inside.
17:01
Digor: “Lazlo, what protocol?” Lazlo: “Let’s do #1.” He is so excited he doesn’t even seem to mind being trapped. 97 small gems 3 large gems: peridot, emerald, black opal 12 potions 6 scrolls 1 magic ring 1 magic rod 1 staff 3 magical items 3 swords (one magical) 1 magical spear decorated red on black Lazlo is happy with the haul. Phil looks at the bars, “Not good. These are titanium.” Paretti is able to slip between the bars and helpfully hits the big green button on the control panel in the hall. The bars slide back up into the ceiling. The party is practically skipping down the corridor with their pockets full of new trinkets. However, they stop in their tracks when they see the Dragon Also Rises and the nereid coming down the hallway.
17:02
Phil acts quickly and tries to throw the Faraday cage over the Dragon Also Rises but misses. Paretti tries the tried and true trick of distracting enemies by flying around them. Merlin slips an attack from the Dragon Also Rises and cracks a plasmic core. As he is sucking the contents into his lungs, the Dragon Also Rises is able to grab Eauque and sucks out his soul. Merlin casts his chill out spell. Dragon: Don’t I get to suck your souls?? Nereid: Chill out. You all should just leave. Merlin: Can I have Eauque? Nereid: Take it now and go. Merlin grabs the Eauque key along with a few others, turns and runs. He shouts “Here have these gummies” as he throws several of them over his shoulder. Realizing what Merlin has done, the rest of the party turns to run as well. The Dragon Also Rises would prefer to give chase, but the nereid convinces him otherwise by sitting on top of him. To the Way Stone. 800XP
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max-power™ 07/16/2020 1:17 PM
9 July 2020: What’s a monkey worth anyway? Phil, Rick, Collectivist Prime, Digor, Paretti Inspecting the loot from the tomb, there are several pieces of interest. Eauque’s Ka is trapped in the #8 key of the Dragon Also Rises. The stoppered bottle is interesting. Digor wants to open it, but Phil’s not so sure. Phil examines the bottle and can hear a faint voice from within asking “Is someone out there?” Phil takes the bottle from Digor prompting Joan to bark at Phil in indignation, but the two reconcile quickly. Of particular interest is a long cloak. Digor picks it up and asks Phil if it’s dangerous. “Not that I know of,” says Phil. Digor puts on the cloak and two small tendrils snake into his ear holes. “Welcome <new user> it has been 14,000,000 days since last registering. Would you like to register, <new user>?” The party can see that the cloak is double sided with a greenish side and a reddish side. When Digor puts the cloak on with the reddish side out, he melds almost completely into the background.
13:18
Rick: “Why don’t you register your user?” Digor: “OK” Cloak: “I’m the cloak of protection” Digor: “Register new user” Cloak: “State your name” Digor: “Digor” Cloak: “Hello Digor” Digor: “Read user manual” Cloak: “I am the Cloak of Protection (+2). I can protect you from damage and make you harder to hit.” Rick takes the cloak and tries to register, but only one user can be registered at a time. Phil donates 10 crossbow bolts to Rick. Digor sells two rations to Phil for 10 cash. Digor: +cloak of Protection(+2) Rick: +10 crossbow bolts Phil: +2 ration, -10 cash
13:18
To the Way Stone. Night one fine. Day one bad storms. Night two fine. Day two arrive at Way Stone wall. Guards riding fanged horses. 40 cash for the party to go through. Phil, Digor, and Rick cover Paretti’s fee. Collectivist prime spins a wonderful bardic tail that convinces the guards he’s already paid. Phil, Digor, Rick: -10 cash each The party finds a spare area to make camp. An individual known as Oswald appears to have some necromancy skills. Digor to Oswald: “Are you a necromancer?” Oswald: “We prefer the term revivification specialist.” Paretti to Oswald: “Please kindly take this anarchist literature.” Oswald: “Uh ok.” Digor: “Would you please reunite our friend Eauque with his Ka.” Oswald: “Is this some unsavory sex thing? No matter. Do you have the soul?” Digor: “Yes we do” Oswald: “A procedure such as this would be 500 cash, with a full money back guarantee.”
13:18
The party excuse themselves to outside the earshot of Oswald to discuss. Collectivist Prime thinks we could buy a brand new monkey for far less than 500 cash. Digor wants to offer a soul gem. Phil thinks Oswald is a crackpot. Over Phil’s protestations, Digor and Paretti go back in. Digor: “We have four souls other than the monkey soul. Would that cover it?” Oswald: “I’d need to see a sample.” Paretti: “These are top tier. I’ll stab you in the face!” Lazlo hands Digor a soul. Digor to Oswald: “Here’s a soul.” Oswald inspects: “You say you have four of these?” Digor: “Yes.” Oswald (grinning): “I’ll do it” The party retreat once again to discuss.
13:20
Lazlo: “This is coming out of your portion” Rick: “Lazlo, do you have a sense how much these are actually worth?” Lazlo: “Hmmmm. Let me see. I’d guess 200 cash or more for a hero.” Digor storms back in. Digor: “You’re ripping us off.” Oswald: “Well you can always just pay me cash.” Digor: “We have heros.” Oswald agrees to take Sildenafil to bring Eauque back. He also tries to identify the remaining stones. M key — Blue: Dwarf, Quilquenacil B key — Purple/red: unknown = key — Sea green: Elf, Vardenafil [ key — Brown/green: Elf, Tadalafil The elves appear to have been traveling with Sildenafil. Eauque’s eyes open and he looks around groggily. Paretti makes some honey cakes from bullets. Eauque eats and feels somewhat better. Digor thanks Oswald and the party retires to the camp. The loot is appraised. See the sheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1mEX2bnG8dkpjpRoKcM07JhRusnpT9fb6mYBjckn6vOg/edit#gid=0 300XP (edited)
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Jack Tatters 07/16/2020 2:16 PM
I do believe I made cakes our of bullets!
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max-power™ 07/16/2020 2:17 PM
Oh, right. Sorry.
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Heard a Who 07/16/2020 2:19 PM
if only they were sling bullets, they could have been stun muffins
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Adam Thornton 07/16/2020 8:43 PM
Sildenafil: Magentaish pink, V
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Adam Thornton 07/16/2020 8:53 PM
5:30 PM next week, alternating 6 and 5:30 thereafter
20:55
So to recap what I think the plans are: we start at the Way Stone next week and the party plans to travel towards Fallen Umber.
20:56
Those people reading who haven't been playing are certainly welcome to join, and I will probably put out another call for players to get some new blood in.
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max-power™ 07/23/2020 4:36 PM
July 16: Finances or Haggle, haggle, haggle, haggle Party: Digor, Rick, Phil, Paretti, Collectivist Prime Terrible notes were taken. Let’s not point any fingers… To remind people, we had a big haul from the tomb of the Dragon Also Rises. There were many items and Lazlo needed to be paid off. We spent the entire session deciding what to do with the loot. Most of the info is in the spreadsheet in column N and O: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1mEX2bnG8dkpjpRoKcM07JhRusnpT9fb6mYBjckn6vOg/edit#gid=0 Here’s an executive summary: * Most items were kept in the party inventory. See column O for cases where specific characters were asked to cary an item. * Lazlo was paid off with the huge gems and the plutonium core. * The plutonium core was a little more than we owed him, so he agreed to buy back Seldenafil. The key is pinkish and has a V on it. * Lazlo found a mark to buy the cursed items for a total of 200 cash and 2 med kits (med kits do not heal vome infections). * With all five soul gems in hand and the Bottle of Djin, it was mentioned more than once that an elf Voltron might be a possibility. * I’m not sure we actually decided which items we would give to the appraiser. That’s all we have. Please feel free to add other details.
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max-power™ 07/30/2020 6:03 PM
For completeness, there was no play report for July 23. We had a meet and greet with a new player instead.
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Heard a Who 07/30/2020 6:06 PM
This is very useful for MY memory banks
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max-power™ 08/06/2020 3:40 PM
Digor picks a fight with everyone or So many mounds!!! Party: Eucyrum, Phil, Rick, Digor, CP, Joan, Burt, Euque. Peretti sleeping in boot to start. Fallen Umber is a weird place. The party sees the radiation ghosts known to this area, but steer well clear of them. The main thing of value here is the behemoth chitin which is a shell grown by mushrooms that live on behemoths, which are giant mollusks that levitate on “stuck force”. Joan helpfully finds a nearby settlement of rabbit-pigs (not sure which half is which). The party finds 2 guards and a wall around the settlement. The rabbit-pigs are famous in the area for farming all kinds of mushrooms including the chitin producing mushrooms gathered from behemoth corpses to the west. CP: I am here to seize the means of production. Guard: Iron giant comes to take own stuff?? CP: How do I make chitin? Guard: You learn to make shield stuff? What will you pay? CP: Love of The People Guard: Too big! Not our type! Digor: We have shinies… (gives a gem to the guard) Guard: (shrug) Sure. Come on in. Guard to CP: (motioning toward Eucyrum) You responsible for that? Guard: You can come in but no trouble A translator approaches CP: We are here to seize.. Translator: Yes yes. You want to make shield stuff. CP: Why do you need armor anyway? Translator: Humans, other rabbit-pigs, Prairie Dogs, silver worms, SNAKESSS! Digor: How many of these gems to teach us to make shield stuff? Translator: 50 gems For some reason, at this point we learn that CP has a physical programming interface. It is a small snake (python) in a hatch in his arm that can be bent into specific shapes to produce executable instructions.
15:40
Eucyrum: Do you send parties to the behemoth shells? Translator: We must collect spores to refresh our fields. (Indicating mushroom fields taking up most of the settlement area. They are obviously of various types and at various stages of maturity.) Eucyrum: If you wish, we will take any young and fool hardy enough to travel with us to the behemoth shell to the west. Translator: We would be grateful. Allow me to round up some voluntolds. Party: -100 gems (50 for Phil to learn to make armor and 50 to put light armor on the wagon and tractor, 10 rations per party member, and one barrel of mushroom beer.) Phil: +1 harvest chitin and +1 form chitin Digor: +0.5 armor The process to make armor from the chitin is something like: 1) soak in strong acid and pound into plates with a hammer 2) rinse and add weaker acid to make it pliable and shape into desired form This can be used to make temporary water tight vessels. The party sets out the next day with four young rabbit-pigs joining them: Guillermo, Jose, Pedro, and Sergio (serving as translator). Day 1: Uneventful Day 2: The party sees a bare mound some way off the trail. On closer inspection there is also a crude headstone made of plasteel inscribed: Burbemont Seven Winds -- True friend and loyal companion There are large clawed prints in the soil. Digor points to them confidently. “That’s a bear,” he says, but Eucyrum recognizes them as mermelant tracks. The tracks head west, in the same direction as the party. Rick: Sergio, did your village get news of any deaths in the area? Sergio: (shrugs) People die all the time. Paretti: Sergio, will you and your friends dig up the corpse? Sergio: (shudders) Not if they were taken by silver worms. Paretti: Why can’t I have any fun? I get the next boot! Eucyrum: You get the next boot with food.
15:40
Day 3: Uneventful Day 4: The party sees a smaller mound. This time it is a little closer to the track, but still has a plasteel headstone: Lady Whiskers -- Utter jerk but our utter jerk Day 5: Another grave nearer to the trail still. Plasteel headstone: Quervo Jones -- Sorry about that homey! Paretti: Let’s dig it up! Digor: No! Eucyrum: Clearly they are dropping like flies. It must be starvation or disease. Paretti burrows into the mound and feels bonse and thousands of cold worms...and boots! Paretti burst out of the mound shouting “Metal bones! Metal bones!” Some of the metal worms spew out of the hole left by Paretti. Digor steps on them and they begin to wriggle up his legs, but can’t find purchase on the slick bones and fall back to the ground. Eucyrum suggests catching what remains of the party since someone is still burying people. Another mond very near the trail: Anna 14 -- Nightmare steppe brave warrior Paretti digs again. Paretti reports that there is steel. Eucyrum is intrigued enough to help dig up the body. There are lots of worms, but the body has leather armor and a steel longsword. Eucyrum rescues the longsword and paretti rescues the skull. Teeth are extracted and put in Paretti’s boot and the skull is tied to the boot. The party stops for lunch, mushroom sandwiches, of course. Eucyrum inspects the sword and discovers that it is of good quality.
15:41
After restarting, they quickly come upon less of a mound, but more of a teaming mass of worms with a plasteel plank: Screw you Glory of the Sun Before. Taking myself out before you do. Up yours, Bob. Mermelant tracks (4) continue on with what look like a solitary human. The party takes the whole skeleton which makes Paretti’s day. The skeleton also has boots! Paretti crawls inside the skull. Digor: Get out of the skull!!!! Digor: I’m not doing elf Voltron! Paretti: Why can’t you just let me have what I need?? Paretti starts crying and little silver rivulettes appear on their cheeks. Digor decides to let Paretti stay. Paretti makes a satchel out of the bits and pieces of clothing found in various mounds, and packs up the skeleton. Eucyrum takes the satchel to carry. Experimenting with the Faraday net and the silver worms the group notices that worms inside the net become totally deactivated. The worms start moving again once outside the net. CP asks the worms to “curl clockwise if you can hear me.” They oblige. Phil continues to experiment with the worms using multiple nets. Will the party catch up? Will the others die before they meet? +500XP
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max-power™ 08/06/2020 6:19 PM
I forgot the party also got a laser blaster out of the last hole.
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Heard a Who 08/06/2020 6:30 PM
Is the spreadsheet now OUR party quartermaster?
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the doc 08/06/2020 6:31 PM
Yes
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max-power™ 08/13/2020 5:32 PM
August 6: What the shell just happened? Party: Digor, Rick, Phil, Collectivist Prime, Eucyrum Onward! Digor is mad that people keep desecrating the tombs of these poor skeletons so he stomps off ahead of the rest of group. He is the first to top the rise in the trail and as he does so he sees a broad valley with a steam and a pond. Next to the pond is an overturned wagon with four Mermelants singing loudly and drunkenly. Notably one of the mermelants is sitting on a keg that is still closed up, unlike most of the other kegs which are open and empty. Digor strolls directly up to them. M1: Look… a skelington hic M2: What are you doing here? Digor: What are you doing here? M2: Our employers seem to no long be here, so we need new employment. Digor: Maybe. What are your terms M2: Well beer for one.. M1: But… we have more b… M2: Shut up. Digor: What happened to to your last employers? M2: Silver worm sickness. M3: It was horrible. It was terrible. M3: What happened to your meat? Digor: (shrugs) M2: It seems like you’d remember. Digor: I never had it. M3: Nice paint job. Digor: Who was the last to die? M2: (looking down) Bob…
17:33
Digor reports back to the party and the head toward the mermelants Digor: We should think about employing them. Eucyrum: Maybe… Eucyrum to M2: Did you bring beer with you? M2: Yes that’s part of our wages, but we needed to drink it while we reassessed our options. Phil notices evidence significant animal activity around the pond, but nothing recent since the mermelants are being fairly noisy and trampley. Eucyrum: Where are you all headed, if you don’t mind me asking. M2: It’s our duty to cart things. The journey is more important than the destination. M2: What in the world is that gesturing toward Collectivist Prime, and are you a weasel. The mermelant rubs its eyes as if trying to clear them of a vision. Eucyrum: May I, perhaps, look at the cargo you carry? M1: IT IS OUR DUTY TO PROTECT THIS CARGO!!!! If you happened to employ us, we could maybe make an arrangement. Eucyrum: Can you at least give me a rough inventory? M2: No man. The party breaks out the one barrel of mushroom beer they are carrying and share it with the mermelants.Phil: Now will you tell us about your inventory? M2: Coffee, food which we ate, beer which we drank, and plasmic cores. M1: Violent cat rifles, clothing, jewelry, stuff… Digor: Can we have a peek? M1: Noooo. Digor: What about more beer? M2: We’ll take it! Digor: No more beer until you show us the stuff. M2: Beer now or there’s trouble. Digor serves them all more beer which the chug it. M1: More beer! Digor: We’re out, sorry. Phil: How about we go for a beer run? M2: There must be more beer in your wagon. Phil: No, no, no, we need a beer run. M1: There’s no beer for miles. Where would we get beer? Phil: West?
17:33
The mermelants start pawing around in the party wagon. Eucyrum sneaks away to snoop around the overturned mermelant wagon. He finds the rifles, some ammo, and some bolts of cloth. He manages to drag the loot away from the wagon and into some tall grass nearby Phil hears noise coming from the keg the mermelant was sitting on. (Shave and a hair cut) Phil taps. (Two bits) the keg taps back. Digor: Phil what are you doing over here? Phil: shhhhhhhhh Digor takes out his axe. Digor and Phil open the barrel. Looking in, they see a wiry individual with bright pink hair and buggy eyes. Phil looks him over for evidence of a vomish infection and finds no signs. Vorgo: I’m Vorgo and I don’t have vomes. Phil: Get back in the barrel. We need to hide you. Vorgo: No way. I’ve been in there too long already. Digor: What if we put him in the tall grass. They hide Vorgo in the tall grass with Eucyrum and weight the barrel with rocks to fool the mermelants into thinking Vorgo is still in the barrel. Eucyrum to Digor and Phil: Maybe we should setup a distraction by setting fire to the mermelant wagon. At this point Phil goes to talk to the mermelants to cover Eucyrum’s clandestine operations. M2: What’s going on here. Are you trying to trick us? Phil: It would be stupid to think we would try to trick us. M2: ARE YOU CALLING US STUPID?!?!?!?! The mermelants show their bellies.
17:33
Eucyrum fires a violent cat rifle from the grass and hits M2. Joan barks excitedly. Collectivist Prime writes a very convincing poem to convince them to fight their capitalist masters instead of the party. Eucyrum fires again and hits again. M2 is down, but apparently only unconscious. Phil jumps on his unicycle and tries to lure them away using the red underside of his cape. M3 follows Phil and tries to hit, but misses. Digor attacks M1 and hits while Rick runs for his crossbow. M1 strikes back at Digor, but Digor dodges and lands a counter attack incapacitating M1. M4 attacks Phil, but misses. Phil carves a dollar sign on M4’s chest in return. Rick finds a clear shot at M3. The bolt is true and goes in one ear canal and out the other. M3 falls over dead. Digor takes the moment to strike at M4. He lands and M4 falls over unconscious. Three of the mermelants are snoring peacefully. Poor M3 is clearly dead.
17:33
Eucyrum: Vorgo, what are you planning to do now that you are free? Vorgo: Oh, I need to get a behemoth perl so that I can convince the spectrum emperor to allow me to have a visit with his daughter (swoon) Eucyrum: Why were you in the barrel in the first place? Usually, mermelants are very loyal to their employers. Vorgo: Well that’s the problem, you see. I was just tagging along and not an employer at all. When Bob passed away, rest his ka, I was just baggage to them. Vorgo: I’m very thirsty and hungry. Digor: Have this mushroom sandwich. Vorgo: I’m not usually a mushroom fan, but this is delicious. Vorgo joins the party in order to hunt behemoth perls. Vorgo tells the party of the Near Moon and the Moon Facing Ford, which is the most easterly place one can glimpse the Near Moon. The Near Moon hovers just above the ground and never sets unless you are far enough away that it goes below the horizon. Joan and Burt are very interested in Vorgo’s butt. He does seem somewhat K9. Vorgo: I need to poop. Please someone give me TP for my bunghole. Digor: Sorry buddy, you’re going to have to use grass. Vorgo: And to think I would be reduced to go to the bathroom like a savage. The party sets out the next day and as the travel the trail winds upward into a pine forest. Collectivist Prime can’t manage not to get sap on his shoulder. The next day the party exits the pine forrest into a high desert. They see a behemoth shell a couple of miles off the trail.
17:34
Vorgo: Can we please go check out that shell? Eucyrum: Sergio, what do the rabbit-pigs know about behemoth Perls? Sergio: There are oysters and sometimes they have edible meat. It’s typically desiccated like oyster jerky. The party goes to check the shell out. Vorgo explains that there is a tradition of marking the first shell you come across with graffiti. This explains all the graffiti on this shell. Digor uses prestidigitation to show off by placing his graffiti high up on the shell. Eucyrum climbs to the top of the shell and lets down a rope for the rest of the party to climb up. Behemoth montage. Result: 8 lbs of oyster meat and two sacks of chitin pieces. Rabbit-pigs show Phil how to harvest chitin more efficiently. The huge behemoth shell is 2-3 days away. The party decides the will check out a few of the smaller shells along the way. They camp on top of a shell for the night. +500XP Clarification to the party holdings. It turns out the party actually sold the tractor to the rabbit-pigs for 50 of the gems. It warms the heart to think of them tooling around on their tractor built for people twice their size. One on the steering wheel and two on the pedals.
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Heard a Who 08/13/2020 6:03 PM
didn't this happen in watership down?
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max-power™ 08/13/2020 6:04 PM
I just watched watership down recently.
18:04
Which bit?
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Heard a Who 08/13/2020 6:04 PM
sorry, I have not read it in a looooong time.
18:05
isn't there a new movie that is not the animated one from when we were kids?
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max-power™ 08/13/2020 6:07 PM
There's a photorealistic animated series.
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the doc 08/13/2020 6:10 PM
Sorry
18:11
Power flash
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Heard a Who 08/13/2020 6:15 PM
ah... we wondered where you went
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max-power™ 08/13/2020 6:54 PM
5 violent cat rifles and 6 boxes of ammo. I apparently didn't record that.
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max-power™ 08/20/2020 11:59 AM
August 13 2020: Can you smell what the Digor is cookin’? Party: Digor, Rick, Collectivist Prime, Phil, Paretti, Eucyrum The party takes a few days to make it to the behemoth shell gathering at smaller shells along the way. + 3 sacks of chitin 1 provision of oyster meat Largely this is simply a montage of various people gathering things and Vorgo opening empty shells. However, three interesting things happen. First, the rabbit-pigs find a mushroom they have never seen before. There is much excitement and this kicks off a strange (to the rest of the party) ritual involving card games and counting and variously poking and eating the mushroom. Sergio explains that the loser of the card game become the tester of the mushroom and so first must touch it, then eat a small bit, and then eat a bigger bit. If they are still OK after this the mushroom is dubbed safe enough to take back to the village for more testing. The mushroom seems fine, so they pack it up with the spores stored in a red cloth and the cap stored separately. Vorgo finds a small perl, which makes him very happy. For some reason Digor and Paretti are almost as overjoyed as he is. Vorgo finds a vivid blue oyster (I didn’t know they came in any other color). Paretti: I’m going to eat it! Digor: Are you planning to eat the shell or the meat? Paretti: You don’t eat the shell? Paretti stabs the oyster. Digor: Can I have half the shell? Paretti: Sure! Digor takes a half shell. It’s blue, football sized, and holds 2-3 quarts. Paretti eats some meat. They seem different as if some magical process is going on and they turn a startling blue color. Vorgo: How odd. Are you feeling alright? Paretti: Feel great! Whaaaaaaaaa! You shouldn’t eat this. You will die. Digor: I’m already dead. Digor puts some water in the shell, but it only tastes a little oystery.
12:00
Digor uses his prestidigitation to make flames appear in Paretti’s skull. Paretti is mesmerized and dives into the eye holes. Digor didn’t expect this reaction. [Some long discussion about figs and vegans] As the party travels, the shells get bigger. Eventually small towns show up on the tops of the larger ones. Eventually, they reach the largest of the shells. The party estimates it is 1000 feet tall and ten miles around. A grand city sits atop the shell with a winding path to it etched into the side of the shell. 4 soldiers armored with behemoth shell stand at the entrance to the path. Eucyrum, not surprisingly, immediately notices the unique polearms the guards cary. Eucyrum has a lot to say about polearms. The guards are clearly happy to meet another enthusiast. Eucyrum and the guard exchange attachments like two footballers trading jerseys after a friendly. Eucyrum gives the guard an ear spoon and guard gives Eucyrum his spiral shaped head in return. Eucyrum asks where there are artisans who could attach it to his shaft and is informed that the artisans inhabit the industrial district two levels down from the temple district. As the party advances up the path (the guards were so enchanted by Eucyrum’s knowledge they don’t even bother charging the the normal toll), Paretti confides in being very interested in the conversation. Eucyrum: Paretti, if you would like to learn more about polearms, I’m happy to teach you some vocabulary. Paretti: I would love that. The party enters the city in the lowest level which appears to be 2-3 miles around. This is clearly the slum area of the city. People are wearing rags and begging for food and money. Eucyrum distributes the equivalent of 280 AD&D gold pieces to the beggars. “As long as you’re giving out money,” says Digor. Eucyrum obliges with one GP. Eucyrum: -280 GP Digor: +1 GP
12:00
The party advances up one level. This level is carved into the actual shell. This area is less destitute, but clearly poor. Paretti is hungry. Eucyrum offers to steal the bone dice a group of gamblers is using. Digor to the group: If I die, Paretti can’t eat me. Paretti: Come on! Why can’t I have the things I want. Paretti joins the dice game, but then steals some of the shell coins they are using as chips. A fight breaks out with Eucyrum coming to Paretti’s aid. As Eucyrum distracts, Paretti takes the dice, shell coins, and abalone coins. Paretti waves the tiny needle sword and the gamblers shuffle off. They would rather what little wealth they may have had then their lives. The next level is even nicer. Here some of the people are wearing fashionable clothing and jewelry. Now there are shops, but not necessarily shops that sell luxury items. Digor: I want to duel. Paretti: Just head butt someone… Digor: I don’t really have a reason. Then a plan starts to come together. Eucyrum really wants to have a jousting competition with competitors riding mermelants. But where to find mermelants. Collectivist Prime and Eucyrum head off to find some mermelants to recruit. The group needs to drum up some interest if they are going to get anyone to watch the joust. Phil and Digor decide to spar in an orchestrated piece of combat drama to bring the crowd. Paretti sells tickets and takes bets with Digor favored 10 to 1. As soon as a few people notice that Digor and Phil are standing in the middle of the street facing each other with weapons drawn, word spreads and more people begin to show up. Phil begins the contest by flapping his cape and tapping Digor on the top of his head. Phil then taunts a second time. To add salt to the wound Phil lunges and scores a hit on Digor. Digor attempts to respond but misses, but manages to dodge Phil’s repost. Collectivist Prime and Paretti pump up the crowd.
12:00
Digor answers the missed repost with an attack of his own which lands (apparently) squarely on Phil’s shoulder. Phil answers with an amazing acrobatic attack using his unicycle to trip Digor sending him sprawling on his back. As Digor struggles to get back up, Phil grabs a net from the back of the wagon. Phil falls into a Retiarius style. Digor attacks and pulls Phil back. With a sort of backward arching flip Phil tap dances on Digor while simultaneously pitching the weighted net. The net lands and Phil jerks to cinch it shut.As Digor struggles in the net Phil parades around the ad hoc arena inflaming the growing crowd further. Phil walks up to Digor and kicks him to the ground. Phil attempts to slap Digor with the flat of his blade, but Digor dodges and manages to cut himself out of the net. Digor, newly freed from the net, attacks Phil with a vicious looking swipe to his midsection. Phil is laid out on the ground. Phil: Don’t kill me, please… Digor: The fight is not over. Phil reaches into his pocket and brings out a small white kerchief which he waves somewhat pitifully. “Digor, Digor, Digor,” chants the crowd. Digor reaches out to shake and picks Phil up off the ground. “Digor, Digor, Digor!” +400XP +160 cash from Paretti lifting from patrons
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max-power™ 09/10/2020 3:27 PM
20 August 2020: Oh, that’s what pug-ilist means Party: Rick, Digor, Collectivist Prime, Phil, Eucyrum, Paretti, Pounce de Leon The party decides to continue with the show, but a little planning goes a long way, so before starting the next round they group decides on characters they will play Phil — Black Humor, Rodeo Clown, heel Collectivist Prime — Red Menace, Communist, heel Rick — referee Pounce de Leon — Thundercat, Luchador, face (cat head with a snake tail) Digor — Digor, Digor, face Eucyrum — Joust master Paretti — Promoter and manager Vorgo — The ‘Pug’ilist, werepug, face (or is he?) The jousting competition Eucyrum: “Hear ye, hear ye, the joust is upon us. We have 12 mermelants to compete in the joust. Some may wish a rider to support the jousting stick thingy, and some others may not. Please converse with the mermelants to find a match, if you so choose.” 8 teams enter the competition (actually 9, but the ninth is only in one bout and it ended up in a tie, so I left it off the bracket) King Mermelant with Pounce de Leon Sweet Pea with Rick Barrels of Tons with Eauque and Paretti Momma69 alone El Panto with a random NPC UltraViolet Riot and Digor Weavil and Eucyrum Sinbad the Porter with a random NPC
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15:28
A few interesting things happened. * Pounce felt like Rick beating him was a “bad call” * King Mermelant turned out to be two quarterlings in a mermelant suit Digor won 420 cash And now for the main event: Rick: “In the red corner at 12’1”, weighing in at 958 lbs, the Red Menace, the Bloody Bolshevik and at 5’4”, weighing 98 lbs soaking wet, Phil!” Rick: “And in the blue corner at 5’3”, weighing in at 114 lbs, The Pugilist and at 7’2”, weighing 259 lbs, Digor!” Rick: “We have a floater as well. At 5’11”, 183 lbs, Thundercat HO!” Rick: “Llllllleeeeeeet’s get ready to ruuuuuuummmmmmbllllllllllle!!!” Ding, ding
15:28
Pounce charges at Phil who deftly spins out of the way coming down with his sword of defending (+2) on Pounce’s snake tail. Pounce under breath: “Prepare for the Pounce flail tail blood on crowd purrrrrrfect sneak attack” Collectivist Prime goes after Digor and clotheslines him Rick lectures Collectivist Prime about such a dirty trick. Phil joins in and throws a temper tantrum about CP’s behavior Phil strikes at Pounce but pounce dodges and responds with a snake tail attack Digor and CP circle, and circle, and circle Eucyrum convinces Pounce to come out for Vorgo. Vorgo charges Phil and Phil olés him (Phil’s pretty good at that kind of thing). As Vorgo charges past Phil spanks him with the flat of his sword. Pounce cheers. Phil moons Vorgo. Vorgo’s features contort as he turns into a real live pug. Phil summersaults out of the ring. Vorgo barks.
15:28
What’s this? Pounce is changing teams and tags in for Phil!! Rick is talking to Paretti saying that since the Pugilist turned into a dog, one of the teams (I think Digor’s) has only one member in the ring. Paretti hypes Eucyrum as he jumps in the ring to replace Vorgo. Eucyrum pins Pounce. [At this point, things got pretty hectic] CP and Digor wrestle over Digor’s axe. CP grabs it and then offers it back to Digor, but when he takes it CP pulls him in and punches him in the bony face Now that things are really ramping up, Paretti prowls the crowd stealing trinkets and replacing them with anarchist literature. Pounce throws Vorgo (in pug form) at Digor and hits Pounce adds to the chaos by arguing with Rick. As the two argue, Eucyrum grabs and flings Pounce toward the ropes. Pounce ricochets of the ropes and collides with CP who staggers back slightly.
15:28
Rick is chasing Eucyrum around the ring to give him a piece of his mind. Phil tries to sweep Digor’s leg but misses and ends up on the mat. He tries again from the mat and manages to get Digor down. Paretti urges the crowd to bring the King to see the spectacle with a promise of an interview with Digor Rick finally manages to get Pounce (for being pinned) out of the ring CP throws Digor’s axe to the side and performs a perfect “Vlad Kick” on Vorgo who flies up and into the next level of the city. The crowd shouts “Field goal!!!!!” Eucyrum tries to escape by pretending to be a toupee on Digor’s head. CP’s not buying it and throws Eucyrum 30 feet into the crowd The crowd chants. Paretti pumps the “whales” that have come down from higher in the citadel. Suddenly Rick rushes into the ring waving his hands in the air. Rick: "Hold everything. The bad guys win. It's getting close to bed time for me." +630 cash +300 XP (edited)
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max-power™ 09/17/2020 4:37 PM
10 September 2020: Your such a Kök Party: Collectivist Prime, Digor, Rick, Phil, Eucyrum, Kök Stewart the Steward approaches the part. Stewart: What a grand show. I would like to have you up to the castle for a party. Will you join me? All: Yes! Stewart: Splendid! Please arrive in 90 minutes. The guards will be expecting you. Collectivist Prime composes an epic poem about wrestling. Rick goes looking for lodging in Level Four. Level Four is obviously much richer than Level Three. There are jewelry stores, high end restaurants, and nice hotels. Rick walks up to the nearest hotel. Above the French doors leading to the lobby, it says “Hotel Excelsior.” Behind the desk stands a porter. Porter: Good day sir. What may I do for you? Rick: I would like to procure lodging for my associates and me, as well as my horse. Porter: Very well. Would you like separate rooms? Our suite will house 6 comfortably. Rick: The suite sounds good. Porter: That will be 250 cash per night. Would you like a room for your horse or would the stables be sufficient? Rick: The stables will be sufficient. Rick: Say… Would you fancy a show here at the hotel. Porter: On moment. HEY JIMMY. GET OUT HERE! Jimmy: Heya. I’m the manager, Jimmy. What can I do you for. Porter: These performers have asked if we would like a show here at the hotel Jimmy: I’d love a show. We’d make a killing! Rick: A killing eh? How about you comp our room in exchange for a one bout card? Jimmy: Done! How about we do it at 11:00 tomorrow and call it the Brunch Punch? Rick: We’re in. Porter: I’ll even throw in this high end bag of organic dog biscuits. +1 bag of dog biscuits Digor gives treats to Joan and Burt, who gobble them up, and offers one to Vorgo, who happily eats it.
16:37
The time to head to the castle arrives. The party begins climbing even higher in the city with Stewart the 56th (all the stewards are named Stewart). Level 5: Huge houses, water features. Guards at stairs to level 5. Level 6: No guards. The Palace. Welcome esteemed fighters Digor leads the way. As the party enters the palace grounds they see manicured lawns, topiaries, etc. In what appears to be the exact center of the palace is a tall spire rising even higher. Phil: That spire must be the Level Seven Each of the group is called up in turn so that their name can be read out to the crowd, after which there is a period of polite applause. Digor gets the largest reaction by a large margin. After all the names are read and the crowd has quieted down, Stewart saunters over. Steward: Welcome and thank you for the show! What can we do to repay you for your wonderful entertainment? Paretti: You all can stay here and flap your gums. I’m going to go get some fake blood. Totally, totally fake blood. +2 gallons “fake” blood Phil: Do you have any magnets? Stewart: Probably, why? Phil: To fight mechanicals, of course. Stewart: Oh, probably. (Sends Waldo the servant to go look) +some magnets: Phil Waldo brings magnets and Phil makes a net with them on the perimeter. Phil: Long red carpet? Stewart: Sure. We were planing to replace all our red carpets soon anyway Waldo (zips away and back again): Here’s 50 feet of gently used red carpet 50’ red carpet, which can fit 6 bodies, or 12 if they’re dismembered: Phil The party now begins mingling with the guests. Digor talks the head of the artisan guild into giving him some paint by agreeing to wear some artisan guild promotional material in the bout. +paint: Digor
16:37
Phil: What we really need are some fireworks Griswald: What size? Phil: A variety would be nice Griswald: OK. The little ones are good for setting kids on fire Paretti: Yeeeeeesssssss Digor: Come on people! Griswald: I can give you warning labels, but you’ll have to put them on yourself. Phil: That’ll do Griswald: You can have enough fireworks for 5 show, if I can be in the show tomorrow morning at the Hotel Excelsior Rick: You want to be a heel or a face? Griswald: I will be Griswald the Mighty, Alchemist Majeure Kök: Hi I’m Kök, Eauque’s twin brother. He had to go home to see Mom. Phil: I also want some acid for working Chitin Griswald: I can give you two small barrels. One with weak acid and one with strong acid. Paretti: Share some of the good stuff with me won’t you? Phil: We’ll see Griswald: I’m going to need a lengthy bout for all this stuff!! Burt has walked away during the conversation. Digor notices a group near the spire. As Digor nears he begins to realize the people in the group are playing a game of “Will he eat it?” Up next… A canapé fork. Digor bets 33 cash for yes. Burt eats it. +99 cash: Digor Bystander to Digor: Where did you get a wumpus? Digor: I raided a wumpus lair Bystander: Gulp A priest separates himself from the group and approaches the party
16:38
Priest: If you are able to raid a wumpus lair, you likely are capable of handling a small pest problem for me. Digor: We’re listening Mangoustine: I am Priest Mangoustine. We have a small, well large, rat problem. We have rodents of unusual size and they are eating our- I mean, making an awful racket. We believe there are 6 of the creatures in the catacombs below the temple. If you rid us of these vile things, you may keep whatever you find along the way. Phil: “How big are these things?” Mangoustine: 9 feet give or take Kök: That’s unusual? Mangoustine: Around here it is. Kök: Well they could have been unusually small, you see. Mangoustine: You make a good point. These are really, really unusually large rats Kök: We could train them and ride them Mangoustine: Sure… In any case, you are welcome to take on the task any time you wish. Here is a key to the catacombs. +1 catacomb key: Digor A dignitary reads Collectivist Prime’s epic poem to the assembled crowd. Stewart: Spit some truth Everyone is blown away. The dignitary reverently introduces the Red Menace. Phil wants some BBs and marbles. He’s directed to the guild of spheres on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th level. Party winds down and the group heads back to the inn. The group finds all the things they were promised: +1 cask strong acid: Paretti +1 cask strong acid: Phil +1 cast weak acid: Phil Large crate of fireworks with warning labels: Party Digor gets to work putting warning labels on things. While everyone else gets ready for the bout, Digor guards the fireworks lest a child happen by and be enticed by the pretty packaging. Griswald shows up wearing a scary mask and a black and green costume. Phil puts on blood lipstick and finger nails. Digor: Ewww
16:38
Brunch Punch: Jimmy: Come one, come all. The Brunch Punch is about to begin. The lobby fills up and the bout begins. It’s Digor and Kök vs. Phil and Griswald Kök and Phil engage and Digor and Griswald engage. Griswald throws a vial of acid at Digor but miss. Paretti enters the ring to get the acid, but decides to bite Griswald as well. It looks really gruesome. Phil complains to Rick. In the mean time Collectivist Prime grabs a chair and enters the ring. Griswald, desperate to dislodge Paretti, jumps off the ropes onto Kök. Paretti comes loose along with a piece of ear. Kök responds by stabbing Griswald in the arm. Griswald collapses in the ring and begins flopping around convincingly. Piretti hypes Kök. Phil turns to Kök who gets flipped out of the ring into the 3rd row. Luckily the table Kök lands next to has some unfinished eggs Benedict and a mimosa. Phil (sneering): Enjoy your breakfast! Collectivist Prime smashes Rick with the chair. Paretti whips up the crowd. Burt ambles around the lobby eating full tablefuls of food in a single gulp. Griswald groans and rolls out of the ring landing on the floor with a wet splat. Phil leaves the ring to loot Griswald. +1 acid vial: Phil +1 smoke vial: Phil 1 wand preloaded with magic missile: Phil Phil turns the wand on Digor and hits him with a magic missile. Collectivist Prime hits Digor squarely in the face. Digor’s skull pops off. Paretti catches it and flies it around the room before returning it to Digor’s neck. Paretti: Don’t say I never do anything for you!
16:38
Collectivist Prime begins charging for a huge attack. Kök finds it more pleasant in the stands while munching on a banana. Phil crams a smoke grenade in Digor’s mouth. Rick doses off in the corner of the ring. There doesn’t seem to be much to do this bout. Kök leans on the ropes drinking orange juice. Paretti executes the old push the glass up so it drenches the person drinking thing perfectly and Kök is soaking with OJ. In a side bout, Jane chases Burt around the lobby. Phil flips in the air to come down on Digor. Digor readies his axe to catch Phil on the way down. The axe misses and Phil lands a crushing blow. Digor is down. Rick finally decides to do something which is to pick up the chair he was sitting on and smashes Phil from behind. Phil is out. Collectivist Prime finally releases the charged attack at Kök. Kök is down. Collectivist Prime wheels on Rick with a vicious punch. Rick is down. Collectivist Prime wins! 50 cash per character 400XP
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max-power™ 09/24/2020 6:19 PM
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max-power™ 10/01/2020 3:58 PM
24 September 2020: I’m not a chimera. You’re a chimera! Pary: Digor, Rick, Collectivist Prime, Phil The group cleans up from the most recent bout. + fluorescent tubes, tacks, a Garden Weasel™, and 4 matches worth of fireworks Eauque is back and is not very forthcoming with where Kök went. Digor wants a new pet and goes to the fanciest pet shop he can find: Jolene’s Exotic Animals (By Appointment Only). Luckily there was an opening. Jolene is impressed by the wumpus and agrees to buy eggs if the party comes across them. Digor looks around and agrees to come back at a later time. Phil buys some ordinary spheres. -10 cash +1 sack BBs +1 sack marbles Phil also wants to look at the fancy spheres on level 5 Phil knocks an utters the secret pass phrase *.The proprietor is not impressed with Burt’s odor and gives Digor a pine tree air freshener. Digor hangs it on Burt. There is a beholder in stasis and the proprietor seems like he is kind of keen for Phil to take it, but Phil isn’t having any of it. Phil: -130 cash +1 Vome Pokeball -500 +10 small wizard eyes which allow for spying at a distance. Phil gives 5 wizard eyes each to Rick and Collectivist Prime. Party: -1300 Cash +1 beachball hut — it’s much bigger on the inside than it appears on the outside
15:58
Digor goes back to looking for a pet. First goes to “Dog’s Breakfast” but the name is too apropos, so back to Jolene’s. Digor ends up deciding on a flying fox (Stephen Larry Fox). Digore: -150 Cash Phil buys some chitin dye. -10 Cash The group decides to stay one more night in the hotel so they can go into the dungeon below the spire. [The reward is anything found in the crypts if the party returns with six or more rat heads or a complete map indicating that the whole tomb was explored if no rats can be found] The spire contains a very fancy church. Several ladies are praying. Phil interviews them. Phil: Hello there.. Lady 1: Regina Phil: Hello Regina. Have you heard about the ROULSs? Regina: I’m sorry what? Phil: Rodents of unusually large size? Regina: Oh yes. I was here at services and they swarmed out of the crypts and took Ethyl and Gladys. Some have called them big rats, but I clearly saw a bat , a beaver, a raccoon, and a couple rabbits (with big teeth). They seem to target the more rotund. Mulva, Murna have similar stories. Petunia Level 4 lavender perfume wasn’t there and hasn’t seen the ROULSs.
15:58
Into the dungeon… The door creaks open to reveal three paths. The right path shows a bloody trail. They follow the trail through crypts containing many bodies. As they descend each stairway the bodies get newer. Eventually, they get to a level with no more stairs down. They notice a partially obscured door in the floor. Opening it reveals a 6 foot drop to what appears to be the exterior surface of the shell on which the city is built. Through the gap between the floor of the city and the top of the shell runs all the infrastructure that makes the city go. Rick notices a trail leading to a canvas structure a short distance away. Digor runs into the structure. It appears to be a lab with lab tables and instruments. At the end of the room the party notices a figure rising out of a patch of the floor that has crumbled away. These appear to be the ROULSs.
15:59
Fight!! Phil throws a grenade in the direction of the figure. Boom!! The party hears shrieking. Joan engages with piercing bark and Burt attacks the raccoon looking thing. The raccoon slices Burt and Digor swings at the raccoon, but misses. “You hit like a mouse.” The party is battling a group of huge mammals including: a raccoon, beaver, 2 rabbits, bat, capybara. One by one, as they become injured, the mammals retreat into the hole in the floor. First the raccoon retreats, then the bat, then the capybara. Eventually they have all fled, but as the party watches the hole, they see a flash of blue light. Out from the hole comes an enormous mammal chimera. Collectivist Prime uses the staff of magic to cast a web spell which ensnares the mammal Voltron. “That’s not going to hold it long!” The monster struggles and lashes out at whoever is closest. Collectivist Prime’s eyes flash as he has an idea. He lights a lantern and throws it at the monster. The lamp smashes and sets the web alight. The monster screams as its fur ignites and it eventually crumples into a smoldering heap of burnt hair and flesh. Phil feeds Burt some of the charred meat and Burt begins to gorge. Party: +6 heads +6 crates from the collapsed tunnel +1 large electrical cable.
15:59
Rick inspects the area in the collapsed room and finds various normal sized mammals somehow held in stasis. There is also a chimera similar to the other one but much smaller. “Hmm. Thins thing was made.” There are notes in the cabinet from Frater Per Gerabo, a priest of the temple. The last notebook has the following passage: “I finally got it! It technically worked, but it just ended up being a big angry animal. I need to repeat the experiment with machines. I’m heading into the God’s shell. If you find this good luck.” There appears to be a tunnel leading further into the shell…. 500XP
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max-power™ 10/08/2020 2:27 PM
1 October 2020: Do you remember that show Voltron? Party: Paretti, Digor, Rick, Collectivist Prime, Eucyrum Digor walks into the cathedral. There is a service in progress. He holds the severed raccoon head aloft. Mangosteen: The service is now ended. You are all dismissed. The party gives Mangosteen the additional 5 heads and he rewards them with whatever cash is in the donation box. +1500 cash Mangosteen is happy to teach magic to those who can learn it. Digor learns “Cure Serious Wounds”. Eucyrum asks Mangosteen to cast a spell on him. Mangosteen chooses “Power Word Poop”. Eucyrum does not defecate on the spot, but instead looks mildly pleased with himself. Eucryum has absorbed the spell and can now cast it. Paretti: We can run the world! Ultimate power! Digor and Rick want to learn a little more about the beach ball hut. Digor gets inside. Rick kicks the ball as high as he can. The ball seems no heavier than without Digor inside and goes very high in the air. It lands with a hollow thump. Rick travels to the Guild of Cylinders and equips all in the party with a glow stick each. These require 1 plasmic core per day to recharge all of them. Rick -50 Cash Paretti sidles up to Stephen Larry Fox and says “Hey there. Haven’t seen you around here before.” Stephen Larry Fox makes a sound back that can only be described as a cross between a squeak and a caw.
14:27
Shopping: Eucyrum: -55 Cash 1000’ rope 30 petons 2 rolls flex tape 6 bottles of whisky Rick: -10 Cash 1 impact drill Paretti: -0 Cash (stolen) 2 bottles of whisky Eucyrum and Paretti share a blue oyster of unknown origin. Paretti looks disappointed, but Eucyrum looks delighted. Those who partake of the blue oyster may recite a Blue Oyster Cult lyric once per lunar cycle and it will come to pass. Sleep Eucyrum has some really weird dreams. Paretti enters Eucyrum’s dream. Paretti can enter dreams.
14:28
Off to the hole in the shell. A glow stick and a spy eye are lowered through the hole on the end of a rope. The shell here is 10 meters thick. There are bats. The shell is slick and uninterrupted (not chambered) all the way to the bottom where the spy eye can see a pool of water. On one side of the pool a pair of palisades stretch out from the shore into the water. Everyone gets in the hut. Eucyrum is able to carry the ball down by notting it in the rope and repelling down. Rick uses the impact drill to drill into the columella. Digor explores. He sends Stephen Larry Fox one way and he goes the other. After some search, neither finds anything of interest. Eucyrum carries the ball the rest of the way to the bottom. Digor leads the party into the water, but the water is very cold and unexpectedly deep. Before too long Digor is literally in over his head, but he makes it to the other side. He tows the ball with the rest of the party (except for Eucyrum and Paretti) to the other side. Eucyrum swims and Paretti rides along. There are footprints on the shore and a campfire can be see inside the palisades. Digor heads straight for the fire where he can see several human looking shapes huddled. DIgor: Hello humans Humans: Who are you? Where did you come from? Paretti: We come from beyond the stars…. Humans: Beyond stars? So you’r not the cops? Paretti hands out some anarchist literature Humans: Where are you headed? Digor: The Black City Eucyrum: We are looking for Frater Per Gerabo Rick lets the Humans flip through the notes the party found in the lab. Humans (shrug): No idea man Paretti: You’re bandits!!! I get it!! Do you have any bones? Humans: No we throw them over the wall. The monsters like the bones.
14:28
The party notices a hole to in the shell that appears to lead outside. Humans: If you are leaving, remember we never met. (At this point my notes indicate there was some beer drinking going on) Humans (unison): Have fun storming the castle! Digor: See you later Digor walks around the wall and sees a lobster monster skitter into the darkness. The group decides to search the shell a bit more. Digor sends Stephen Larry Fox to scout. After a few minutes Stephen Larry returns and croaks “Fourth Chamber” to Digor who relays this to the rest of the party. (At this point my notes are less than helpful in letting me recall what the actual chambers are. I thought we had concluded the shell wasn’t chambered, but maybe we were wrong, or maybe there were chambers constructed. In any case…) The party follows Stephen Larry Fox back the direction hey cam from. Eucyrum carefully checks each chamber along the way. In the forth chamber there is a giant, green, rat shaped robot. Collectivist Prime approaches to check what ports the robot has. He sees a depression where an elf soul could fit perfectly (elf Voltron up ahead!) 500XP
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Adam Thornton 10/08/2020 4:12 PM
So the chambers aren't separated, but there are disjoint bits-at-the-bottom. The fourth of those is where the rat-robot is.
16:12
like, there are no walls between them, but you have to go around the spiral somehow to get from Bit At The Bottom 1 to 2.
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Heard a Who 10/08/2020 7:01 PM
Don't forget the extra 600 cash that appeared in the party treasury last week.
19:01
Also, was the blue wand we found in the priest's hands or hidden in his robes?
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max-power™ 10/08/2020 8:52 PM
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Adam Thornton 10/08/2020 8:59 PM
hidden in his robes
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richardgrenville 10/08/2020 9:15 PM
I foresee trapeze fights
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Adam Thornton 10/08/2020 9:17 PM
Shining Trapezohedron fights, even.
🤭 1
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max-power™ 10/15/2020 4:46 PM
8 October 2020: Wow! Look at that moon! Party: Rick, Collectivist Prime, Phil, Digor, Eucryrum The party stands in front of the green rat robot. Digor: Is there a manual? Phil kicks the robot to check how sturdy it is. It appears to be in mint condition. Collectivist Prime attaches his radio set to the Vardenifil soul stone. The upside is that Vardenifil can now communicate with the outside world. The down side is that Collectivist Prime can no longer hear anything. Vardenifil: Who is this? Where am I? Eucyrum: Is this Verdenifil? V: Who’s asking? E: Eucyrum, Knight of the Normandy V: Uh, OK. Do you know of the Dragon Also Rises? E: We do. V: What is your relationship? E: Let’s just say latter day tourist… Digor: We stole treasure from the Dragon Also Rises. E: That really depends on perspective. V: What year is it? Eucyrum shrugs V: Who sits on the Magenta Throne? E: Great warriors I assume. What is the last date you remember? V: The 14th Of Falling Leaves the Year of God Emporer Prezineious IV 794th year of his reign. That was the date I saw Seldenafil fall to the Dragon Also Rises. The rest of us did not last long.
16:46
The party convinces Vardenifil that getting a new body would be kind of cool. There is a rechargeable battery in the spine of the robot. Unfortunately the terminals are too far apart to test via the standard lick technique. Before plugging Vardenifil into the robot body, the party decide to ask Sildenifil whether it’s a good idea to do so. Collectivist Prime plugs Sildenifil into his radio set. Eucyrum: Sildenifil, this may be a weird question, but is it ok to give Vardenifil a new super human/elf robot body? Sildenifil: I guess so? Just don’t give him a rune sword please. Rick: We are missing the name of one of your party. Do you mind listing the people you remember. Turns out the purple/red B-key is Evanafil. The party prepares to plug Vardenifil into the robot body. Phil puts a loop on the battery for quick extraction. Eucyrum hangs on the back of the robot body out of sight. Digor plugs Vardenifil’s soul stone into the robot body. Rat with Vardenifil: Is this my body? Phil: Do you like it? Rat: Well…. It’s better than no body. I’ll take it. Digor sends Stephen Larry Fox to scout. SLF comes back and seem excited though Digor is unable to decipher the bat speak. The party follows. The next chamber reveals an apartment with a bed, kitchen, bathroom and office. There are priest robes on a hook in the corner. Papers scattered around the dwelling show drawings of robots, but no one has been here for ~400 years or so.
16:46
An excerpt from the notes in the room: “I’ve built right rat! I need to do something about my mortal form. I must go to the Moon River Ford to meet with X. After that I’ll work on left rat and right bunny.” Vardenifil: Am I right rat? Phil: I think so. (For some reason, I have a note saying the Satraps differ from the Porcelain Princes in that they wear pressure suites and have only one conscience per body) Digor goes looking for a user manual for the robot and does one better by finding the complete design documentation for right rat. +some crystals for firmware +3 spare batteries +1 quick start guide “slap it in the head” +1 battery charging station Eucyrum manages to shock himself plugging in the charging station. The group charges the rest of the batteries before heading back to camp. While the batteries are charging: Vardenifil: I need some souls. Where is my rune sword? Eucyrum: You man not need souls with this new body. Vardenifil: Maybe so, but I sure miss my soul sucking sword. Eucyrum I understand missing the urge, but you’re cool now. Vardenifil: Whatever On the way back, Eucyrum goes into a chamber they had missed before. It has many iterations of what appears to be the right right. Eucyrum collects some machine oil from the room and oils right rat. Vardenifil: That feels great. Not as good as souls, but you know.
16:47
Meanwhile, Digor, Burt, and Stephen Larry Fox go into another missed chamber. There are rows of mushrooms growing. There are lights and a campfire in the distance. Digor heads toward the fire. Around the fire are a group of spindly figures with large heads and grayish skin. Figures: Whoa skeleton The figure attempts to poke Digor, but misses between the ribs because of the cloak of protection (+2). A second attempt is successful. Burt begins eating as many mushrooms as possible. Digor: Hey! I’m Digor Figure: Hi I’m Frank and this is so-and-so. We are the Cave Mushroom Mystics. What is that thing eating our crop? Can you tell it to cut it out? Digore to Burt: Hey Burt, stop! Burt stops. Frank: What are you doing here? Digor: We are looking for giant robot rats. It’s a long story. Frank: Wow. Well have a mushroom. Digor: OK Digor takes a bite of the mushroom and gives the rest to Burt. Joan cocks her head at Digor and barks. Digor hears: “These people are funny. They don’t throw a ball for me!” Digor throws a ball for Joan. Digor: See you all later! By the time Digor, Joan and Burt reach the top of the rope, the mushrooms are beginning to work. Burt is an oozy iridescent pool. Digor: Why is everything rainbows? Phil gives Digor a rope to use to follow along so he doesn’t get lost. Back at the bandit camp, the party shares beer and mushrooms with the bandits. Most of the mushrooms have to be picked piecemeal from various orifices of Burt, but the bandits don’t seem to mind. Bandits: Whoa the colors! The group trades the mushrooms for a guide to avoid traps. The guide leads them through the tunnel into daylight. Digor is on the ground and Burt is melted through his ribcage. Eucyrum and Rick go back for the wagon and horse and return by late afternoon.
16:47
Go fast! Go west! After three weeks, the party is out of rations and all members are feeling the lack of food (3/4 stamina). They top a rise and see the near moon for the first time. Vorgo turns into a pug and Eucyrum helpfully picks up Vorgo’s clothes. Eucyrum is rewarded with grateful licks from Vorgo. Below is a small city built around what appears to be the pylon of a once great bridge. The pylon is on the bank of a large river. The party estimate the river is at least 1.5 miles wide. The party enter the pylon and take an elevator up to a horizontal section that must have at one point supported (or been part of) the road deck. The inn costs 20 cash per night for the party. There is a restaurant and each member gets a room in the suite. Once inside, Eucyrum feels someone or something riffling through his thoughts. Rather than panic, he concentrates to absorb the magic and learns “read thoughts” at level zero. One by one the part turn in for the night. The late night talk revolves around food and the possibility of another main event. 400XP
16:48
The "hotel"
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the doc 10/15/2020 6:48 PM
There are other stuff here too
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max-power™ 10/15/2020 6:58 PM
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18:59
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max-power™ 10/22/2020 4:36 PM
15 October 2020 Party: Collectivist Prime, Phil, Eucyrum, Digor, Rick, Paretti, Agni Before bedding down for the night, Eucyrum informs the party that they, or at least he, is being surveilled by someone casting a thought reading spell. Digor: Did you manage to learn the spell? Eucyrum: I did. Digor: How did you learn Eat Magic? Eucyrum: Well, the second time I died it was part of the deal. They asked what I wanted most and I said to be able to eat magic. Fresh new day The party hears a commotion outside their door. Walking into the hall reveals a large breakfast spread. There’s a large fuchsia arched enclosure with long bench tables and warming trays, juice, coffee, etc. Digor grabs vegetarian food and some items for the pets. Eucyrum watched uncomfortably and mimics what others are doing around him. This appears to be his first hotel breakfast. Phil takes a large scoop of everything. It’s not a half bad breakfast considering where they are. Eucyrum inspects the crowd. There are the normal steppe caravanees, but there are also some strange folks who appear to be non-travelers. There is a person in a yellow vinyl suit with a gold helmet. Phil guesses a Satrap. With the Satrap are other various characters: a middle aged woman, some guy with a goatee and an eye patch, a buxom woman with a large gold belt, a very large man, and a thin man sitting some way away, but obviously part of the group. The proprietor of the place seems to be a woman with a metal hand wearing a vermillion mask. She has rabbit pig helpers.
16:36
A person who seems to no be like the others sits among other obvious NPCs. Paretti rides around on the headdress of the proprietor who turns out to be Tollmaster Sister. The establishment is called Pylon Krall and is run by Tollmaster Sister along with Tollmaster Door and Tollmaster House. Rick: Paretti, will you see if Tollmaster Sister would like some live entertainment? Paretti: Yessssss Paretti takes the utensils from the obviously different character. Paretti: Sister, do you want us to make you buckets and pots and tubs of money? Sister: Hmmm Sure! Sister introduces the party to the group Eucyrum noticed before. They are collectively known as the Pylon Pirates. * Vicki Six Lives — middle aged woman * Serap Two Eyes — man with the eye patch * Wanda Woman — woman with the gold belt (Paretti gives her a teeny tiny bouquet) * Borque the Recalcitrant — large man (think Bull from Punch Out) * Flatulo Jr. — thin man sitting apart * Post Satrap 48: Golden Abundance — yellow suit and gold helmet Surely someone from the group would go over an apologize for Paretti taking the silverware. The person turns out to be Agni (Hindu god of fire).
16:37
This is Tollmaster Sister:
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16:37
Possibly unsurprisingly the Pylon Pirates are the local grappling team. Paretti negotiates the terms of a bout with Vicki Six Lives. Vicki: For this event are you good with normal gladiatorial rules? I.e. No one gets hurt except for possible accidents (which are impossible to avoid completely). Paretti: Sounds good. Vicki spits on her hand and offers it to Paretti who does a whirling spinning kick into the middle of it to seal the deal. Eucyrum: Are there any jousting options? Vicki: We have viper horses Eucyrum: OK, I’ll take a look. Vicki: Do you have antidote in case one bites you? Eucyrum: Not on me. Do you have any? Vicki: Here you go (3x vials to Eucyrum). Please return any you don’t use, assuming you survive. Or… there are six or so mermelants in the stables Eucyrum checks out the viper horses. They look like horses with rat tails with lion-like tufts. They have long faces (even for a horse) with fangs and vertical pupils. Digor approaches one of the viper horses. Digor: Hey viper horses. Nice tails. What’s up? Horse: My name is Eastern Wind. Thank you for the compliment on my tail! CHOMP Eastern Wind give Digor a healthy nibble. Digor escapes injury, but can clearly see venom dripping down his armor. Digor (sounding disappointed): It was going so well. Paretti (whispering): No, it really wasn’t. Eucyrum decides it might be better to look into the mermelants and goes to chat them up.
16:37
Meanwhile….. Phil: Vicki, we could do trapeze. Vicki: What???? That’s amazing. Sister, they want to do arial. And now for the main event: The match will take place in a chain link open topped chain link box suspended over the river. There are trapeze, fluorescent tubes, chairs, tables, and a box with the word “TACKS” written on the side. For the first bout it’s Digor & Agni vs Serap Two Eyes and Flatulo Jr Wonda Woman carries a large card bearing the number “1” above her head.
16:37
Rick: Let’s have a clean fight everyone Collectivist Prime begins composing an epic poem. Flatulo bounds over to Agni and aims a pantless targeted fart at. The fart misses and Agni reposts with a knife attack and makes contact. Serap takes advantage of Agni being distracted and hits with a well aimed blue bolt from his forehead. Stephen Larry Fox flies around the ring making a racket. Serap turns to Digor and attempts to attack with a quarter staff. Digor dodges and is able to spin and disarm Serap. The quarter staff goes flying up and over the edge of the cage. With Serap now disarmed, Digor whirls around and takes a wild swing at Flatulo. It hits with a bone crunching smack and Flatulo slumps to the mat. Paretti attempts to whip the crowd against Serap Two Eyes. Crowd: “Two Eyes!!” “Two Eyes!!” Burt and Joan squelch around and bark respectively. Eucyrum enters the ring without tagging anyone out and goes straight at Serap. Serap wells around and unceremoniously disarms Eucyrum who turns and skulks away.
16:38
Phil climbs the cage and taunts Serap from the very top. Joan barks at Phil and Digor thinks she might be saying “Hey Phil, get down from there. You’re going to hurt yourself.” The taunt is very effective and Serap vaults at Phil with Eucyrum’s pole arm. Eauque jumps to interfere with Serap chasing Phil. Borque takes umbrage at Phil’s taunting. He shouts “No fair” at Phil and jumps in the ring. Serap jumps on the trapeze. Meanwhile Paretti lights the still lingering fart cloud on fire. A significant fireball envelopes Serap and Phil. Phil screams and writhes even though his eyebrows were merely singed. Serap’s eyebrows and goatee smolder and he pumps the trapeze. Borque goes after Digor with the classic baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Digor parries with his axe and sparks fly as the two weapons meet. Phil “falls” off the cage and grabs Serap’s feet so that they are both on the trapeze. Digor recovers from the clash of weapons and swings and lands a heavy blow on Borque. Rick yells at Borque to get out, ignoring any other shenanigans that might be happening. Burt squelches along with Rick. Agni attempts to take advantage of the reeling Borque but misses. Agni is punished with a blow to the stomach from the butt of Borque’s bat. Serap attempts to extricate himself from both Phil and the trapeze by flipping off of it. Phil sees this coming and executes a mid-air correction that let’s him land squarely on top of Serap. Serap is in “agony” and the crowd boos loudly. For some reason Collectivist Prime decides not to do any poetry after all and takes a might swing at Rick who dodges. Rick (holding up hands in front): “Whoa there.” Burt slaps Collectivist Prime. Still reeling from the stomach blow Agni chooses to switch focus to Serap (he does seem like an easier target) and manages land a glancing blow. In response, Sarap rips off the eye patch and unleashes a might blue bolt. Agni narrowly avoids being hit by it.
16:38
Borque swings wildly with the bat making contact with Digor doing moderate damage, but missing Phil. Phil is unable to find a window to repost through the wild swinging. Digor ignores his encounter with Borque to attack Serap. He hits and Serap slumps to the mat. Serap and Flatulo are out the bout should technically be over, but it continues because Friday Night Raw. Digor may have taken Serap out, but pays the price of turning on Borque who lands a viscous blow. Collectivist Prime is still intent on laying the referee out and lands a crushing straight right. Paretti increases the chaos by summoning a small whirlwind that throws chairs into the ring. None of the combatants are hit, but now there are several chairs in the ring. Digor uses this to his advantage. As Borque swings, Digor is able to pick up one of the chairs and block Borques swing. With Serap now incapacitated, Eucyrum is able to retrieve his bidet, and spin to face Borque. Eucyrum deftly disarms Borque and hits him with his own club. Borque bull rushes Eucyrum who performs a perfect knee lock and scoops Borque’s feet out from under him. Borque lands with a loud thud on the canvas and does not get up. The crowd cheers. Collectivist Prime didn’t manage to decapitate Rick and Phil is still hanging around, but that’s ok. +180 Cash for the pa Vicki enters the ring. Vicki: And now for the joust! Crowd cheers Vorgo barks at Digor who thinks he says “They’re back!” The party sees three relatively normal mermelants. The third is is huge and black and shaggy and stinks of death and his eyes are solid silver. Undead Mermelant: I am The Overtaken and I have returned for you! 400XP
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max-power™ 10/29/2020 2:40 PM
22 October 2020: I think you dropped this crossbow bolt Party: Rick, Digor, Collectivist Prime, Phil, LuBan, Eucyrum, Agni The party stands on the ground near the stables. A group of four mermelants approach. Three are relatively normal looking mermelants. The forth is clearly undead or something. He is larger than the rest, stinks more than the rest, has solid silver (vome?) eyes, and a crossbow bolt hanging on a string around his neck. Realization dawns on the group as they remember the battle with the mermelants where Rick semi-accidentally fatally shot one of the four. This must be that same group. The Overtaken: Please rest before I introduce you to the terrors of the grave. Rick backs away as do the other mermelants. The Overtaken to Rick: Oh have I got something special in store for you. The Overtaken and his band seem to be repped by a greasy pair: Paul Bearer and Mr. Creosote. Paul: Have your joust or whatever, but this fight with these mermelants is going down! No one in the party is sure whether Paul is dead or not. He certainly looks pale. The three living mermelants look a little like they’d prefer to be doing something else. The party decides to do the joust because what else do they have to do?
14:40
A small man in robes with an umbrella is peering intently at the party. LuBan: I have no friends equal to yourselves. Rick: Hi, I’m Rick LuBan: Men’s natures are alike; it is their habits that separate them. Collectivist Prime: Hi, I’m Collectivist Prime LuBan(spins umbrella with birds and flowers): Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts? Collectivist Prime: Men can serve the state Eucyrum: Hello LuBan(bows): Respect yourself and others will respect you. Eucyrum: Hm. That’s not what I’ve found Phil: I’m Phil LuBan: The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions. (Phil winks and LuBan winks back) Agni: Hi LuBan: What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.
14:40
Eucyrum negotiates with the mermelants to do the first round of the joust today and the final round tomorrow. Phil: What if we could sell portraits of our various members with fans. That would be another funding stream. Digor: Diversification, I like it! LuBan, can you paint portraits? LuBan: Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance. [I totally missed the joust, so if someone has the bracket, I’d appreciate it] +40 Cash Digor (musing to himself): I’m a little ashamed that Burt smells so bad. If only I had some sort of scent cover. LuBan gives Digor a small bottle. Digor: What’s this? LuBan: Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure. Digor: +1 bottle powerful perfume Eucyrum pulls Tollmaster Sister aside: Sister, I’m worried about the non-dead mermelants with Paul’s group. Tollmaster Sister: That’s unfortunate, but we at the Kraal Pylon are neutral and take great pains to avoid becoming embroiled in outsider drama. Digor looks for Serap’s quarter staff that was lost over the edge into the river during the last bout. Stephen Larry Fox goes out to look in the water. The bridge from the long, long ago has collapsed in the river and partially dammed the river. Stephen Larry Fox finds the quarter staff floating in an eddy upstream of the dam. Digor is able to follow Stephen Larry Fox and retrieve the staff. Digor: +1 common quarter staff
14:41
Digor: OK, let’s return this to Serap Phil: No way. Digor: We aren’t thieves Phil: Yes we are. Digor: No we aren’t Phil: Yes we are. . . . Digor: No we aren’t Digor decides to return the staff over Phil’s objections, and goes to find Serap 2 eyes Phil’s really keen on getting an image capture mechanism. He finds a shop that sells various odd and ends. The proprietor offers a “brownie in a box.” It’s basically an imp in an enclosure that can reproduce the image show through a portal in the front of the box. The brownie will hibernate and needs a pound of meat a day to function. Part of the deal is that Phil must also take an idol of the “Defiler of Ponds” which is a statue of a fat toad. Phil like it and his tongue goes numb. Collectivist Prime does not notice any radiation, but the idol does glow faintly in the dark. Phil: +1 brownie in box; +1 idol of the “Defiler of Ponds” In the mean time, Digor has found Serap 2 eyes. He has a new staff. Serap: Good fight today Digor: You too. I found your staff in the river. Serap: Wow, thanks! That’s really nice of you. Now I don’t have to go get another backup. Digor: Well, see you around.
14:41
The party heads to dinner. For normal people dinner is a buffet like breakfast. But they are new VIPs along with the Pylon Pirates, Paul and his mermelants and Tollmaster Sister. Rick challenges the bartender to a mix off. The target is a boilermaker. Rick makes his best riff on a boilermaker: Pabst Blue Ribbon 2 shots of Yagermeister Float 151 proof rum and light it Rick slings the drink down the bar to a mermelant standing by. Paul attempts to intercept as it goes by, but Phil foils him. The mermelant tries to blow out the flaming top, but only succeeds in blowing flaming foam all over the bar. The bartender seems to be old hat at this kind of shenanigans and quickly brings the flames under control. Paul: Can I get one of those? Phil grabs Paul: Let’s dance Burt joins in the waltz Eucyrum: Rick, make another Rick: Will do This time Rick goes heavy on the 151 and slides it too hard. It rockets off the end of the bar and breaks on the floor lighting the mermelants feet on fire. The bartender sighs and puts out yet another blaze. The bartender makes his version of a boilermaker. Rick’s is better. Rick: +100 Cash (edited)
14:41
Eucyrum (hands bottle to nearest mermelant) Mermelant: Thanks Eucyrum: Does Paul keep you off that stuff? Mermelant: Yeah Eucyrum: Beer is usually a part of your terms. Did something change? Mermelant: I guess? But to be honest I’m just trying to survive. Still alive Eucyrum: How long’s is that situation going to last Mermelant face in hands: No idea Eucyrum: We can help… Mermelant: I can’t break the contract Eucyrum: Why not? Mermelant: The Overtaken would be a little miffed Eucyrum: If you can disappear… Mermelant: We can’t do that Eucyrum: I’m just saying you could take a dive. You could get up a little slowly. Not be as good as you normally would be. Maybe we could make something work. Mermelant: Should I tell the others? Eucyrum: If you trust them, I trust them. Just as the night is about to wind up they notice small jars hanging from Paul’s belt. There are three of them. Realization comes that Paul is controlling the mermelants by holding their Bas hostage. Digor slips the bartender 100 Cash to make up for the loss in the boilermaker battle. Digor: -100 Cash +300XP
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the doc 10/29/2020 2:52 PM
You forgot that the reason th eff bartender lost was because of digor's magic
14:52
And you misspelled lick.
14:52
And digor attempted to put out the fires
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Adam Thornton 10/29/2020 7:02 PM
And there's only one manager: Paul looks a little like Mr. Creosote
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max-power™ 10/29/2020 7:08 PM
That makes more sense
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max-power™ 11/05/2020 3:03 PM
29 October 2020: You call that sneaky? Party: Rick, Digor, Phil, Lu Ban, Collectivist Prime, Eucyrum, Agni After dinner the party confer about the night’s events. Lu Ban shows the group a map. It’s a strange map. It’s hardly perceivable in any normal way. It’s as if the map exists in a dream state while the party are waking. There are characters, but they are not familiar to any of the part other than Lu Ban. However, surprisingly they understand that certain character groups say “Map of Lu Ban” and “Black City” at various points. After letting everyone gander, Lu Ban carefully rolls it up and puts it away. Phil mentions that dancing with Paul has revealed that he is very muscular and spry for a man of his apparent build. The group comes up with two plans for the evening: 1) Eucyrum carrying Collectivist Prime in gun form, Phil, Lu Ban and Digor wish to check out the inn where Paul and Co are staying “The High Ride” 2) An idea was floated by Phil that maybe bar shakers could be fashioned into decoys that would be close enough to Paul’s urn to be effective. Rick and Agni take on the job of finding shakers. “Case the joint!” The casing group arrives at “The High Ride” and can see the three alive but Bah-less mermelants through the windows drinking out of buckets at the bar. They walk around the side of the building and can see the windows of the rooms on the second floor. As the party tries to figure out how to get to the second floor, Lu Ban conjures a magic vapor the wafts upward and gradually solidifies into a translucent staircase leading to the second floor windows. Digor: Wow how did you learn to do that? Lu Ban: hear and forget. see and remember. do and understand.
15:03
They mount the stairs and peer in the windows. The unit at the back of the building is clearly the VIP suite. There are strange black light candles and two coffins. One of the coffins is huge and the other is a normal size, but both appear to be good quality. There is other hotel room stuff including a wooden chest that seems to be the room safe but is unused (or unlocked at least). Lu Ban appears to be in significant distress as he tries to maintain the spell, but cannot hold on any longer. All fall the story to the ground below. Digor is hurt badly enough that he decides to go back to the hotel to rest up for the next day. Lu Ban accompanies Digor back to the Kraal Pylon. Lu Ban: The glory is not in never falling, but in rising after a fall. Eucyrum has a glass cutting too for his pole arm. They are able to, with a screeching sound, cut a hole in the window big enough to climb through. Eucyrum, carrying Collectivist Prime, and Phil are able to climb up and through the window. Collectivist Prime locks Paul’s casket with a magical lock. The password is proletariat. Eucyrum snuffs the black light candles. Collectivist Prime casts reduce on The Overtaken’s casket. Presumably the hope was that the whole thing would shrink to a size they could get out through the door, but instead just the casket shrinks around The Overtaken’s body which causes it to split open and wake The Overtaken up. (edited)
15:03
Collectivist Prime manages to pick up Paul’s casket and heads for the door which naturally wakes Paul up. Meanwhile, for some reason, Phil shakes The Overtaken’s casket. This causes the broken pieces to fall away onto the floor. The Overtaken sits up and growls. The Overtaken spies Eucyrum and advances menacingly. Eucyrum (smartly) escapes out the window which makes The Overtaken even angrier. Phil catches up with Collectivist Prime. By this time Paul has managed to kick one leg free of the door so that his foot and part of his leg are visible out the top of the coffin. The Overtaken appears at the top of the stair prompting Collectivist Prime to attempt the classic coffin surf down the stairs. As the coffin bumps down the stairs, Paul works at the hole in the lid. The coffin crashes onto the floor at the bottom of the stairs just as Eucyrum opens the front doors of the Inn. He attempts to cast “Power Word Poop” on Paul who is still in the casket. Paul groans, but there is no foul odor or other sign the spell worked. As The Overtaken thunders down the stairs, Paul finally manages to escape the coffin.
15:04
A tremendous scuffle ensues with such highlights as: * Paul kicks Collectivist Prime in his robot balls, which surprisingly hurts Collectivist Prime more than Paul * Paul smacks a defenseless flying fox that was just trying to gouge his eyes out * Phil hanging from The Overtaken’s leg, in an apparent attempt at defending Collectivist Prime’s honor, slashes at The Overtaken’s balls, but misses * Eucyrum decides this has gone on long enough “My cosmic sword goes on forever” and smacks The Overtaken with it. Two beings of chaos emerge. Paul flees to the room At this point The Overtaken also retreats to the room with Phil still clinging to his leg. The door shuts and a moment later Phil comes flying back out the door and down the stairs. The chaos beings pursue Paul and The Overtaken up the stairs. They are confused by the operation of the door which causes them to circle mindlessly in front of the door for a time. This gives Paul and The Overtaken to barricade themselves inside the room. Coming to their senses, sort of, the chaos being vomits and acidic sludge on the door. The door sizzles and begins to disintegrate. Eventually the door dissolves enough for the chaos beings to get inside. The Overtaken dispatches the first with a mighty stomp. Phil attempts to make the situation worse for The Overtaken and Paul by lobbing an acid grenade through the hole in the door, but misses. The Overtaken appears…upset by this. The party is no match for him without an understanding about how the combat will be played out. RETREAT!!!!!!!
15:04
Meanwhile…. Rick swipes 4 shakers from the hotel bar. He leaves one so the bartender doesn’t get in too much trouble. His heart skips a beat as he turns a corner and sees Sister House in the hall coming toward him, but she passes without noticing his larceny. Back in the room Agni and Rick ponder how to make these shakers look acceptably like Paul’s urn. They figure they might be able to shape them if Agni can heat them. Agni fires at the first one. A mighty blast of flame scorches the counter, shattering a nearby mirror. The shaker melts into a pool. “We are going to have to think of another plan” 300XP
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max-power™ 11/19/2020 7:03 PM
12 November 2020: The bout of the century Pary: Digor, Rick, Phil, Collectivist Prime, Lu Ban, Eucyrum, Agni, Perretti Tollmaster Sister knocks on the door. Digor answers. Tollmaster Sister: Good morning Digor: Good morning Tollmaster Sister: The joust will be taking place in the paddock near the stables at 08:00 sharp. Please do not be later. Digor: OK Tollmaster Sister: There is also this other small matter. She hands Digor a sheet of paper. It appears to be a bill for damages to the “High Ride Inn” for the amount of 458 Cash. Digor shows the bill to Collectivist Prime. “It wasn’t me!” Tollmaster Sister: We would appreciate payment in full before you depart our fair hamlet. If you do not choose to pay new, we are happy to simply cover it with your earnings from the bout this afternoon. The team equip themselves with various items to mock Paul’s affinity to his urn. Phil cradles a hotel ice bucket. Collectivist Prime brandishes a limited edition R2D2 figurine signed by George Lucas Eucyrum carries a small silver toilet Joust!!!! Eauque sits out due to injury. Phil wins! Phil: +100 Cash Fight!!! The ring is huge. It’s 6 feet off the ground with a 5 foot apron. The ring itself is 40 feet on a side. Bells toll and the three alive mermelants pull a casket to the ring. Paul stands on top. Going against the normal theatrics where each team gets a chance to flex and posture for the crowd, the party decides to take a more hands on approach. Phil rides the unicycle in rings around the casket and Agni launches a fireball at the unopened casket.
19:04
Paul: What are you doing?!?!?!? Get back to your corner!!!!! The Overtaken bursts out of the still burning casket. Tollmaster Sister: Today’s match is 2 on 2. Tag in tag out! Last one standing will be the champion. Collectivist Prime is the referee. The meremelants are wearing specialized gloves that act as prosthetic opposable thumbs (gloves of thumbs (+3)). Before the fight begins, Agni casts second sight and is able to determine and tell the rest of the party that the following beings and items are magical: Paul Paul’s urn The Overtaken Flatulo Digor Lu Ban Right Rat Eucyrum The mermelant gloves Vorgo (I was too distracted to take good notes during the bout, but I will try to give a few highlights) From the beginning the group is taking the bout as much more threatening than Paul’s group seems to be.
19:04
Highlights: * Perretti dives into Paul’s urn and explodes it from the inside. Matthew and Luke get their souls back. Parretti decides to eat John’s ba. He immediately drops dead. Matthew and Luke start to slink away. * Phil uses his vomeball to capture the vome spirit of The Undertaken. He throws it at The Undertaken and the silver drains from his eyes leaving behind black pools. * Eucyrum has the “Chestripper” head on his pole arm. He is clearly hitting for real. Paul says, “We’ve been playing nice. Do you really want to do this?” Eucyrum responds by whacking Paul doing massive damage. Paul attempts to drag himself off the mat. * As Paul is feebly trying to escape, Perretti sees an opening. Tying a thread around Paul’s neck to presumably detain him, Perretti neatly scoops out both of his eyes. * Meanwhile Agni is also not pulling any punches and sets The Undertaker on fire * Eucyrum buries the Chestripper in The Undertakers, well, chest, but is unable to free it * Paul and The Undertaker retreat and flee. The Undertaker takes the Chestripper as a souvenir as it’s still buried in his flesh * There are casualties on the party’s part, but because they were able to chase Paul’s group off, they get the full purse +1300 Cash - 458 Cash from the bill = + 842 Cash (105 Cash/member) +1 poke ball with 1 vome spirit of The Undertaken +1000XP (edited)
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max-power™ 11/19/2020 7:20 PM
I made a mistake. John still has his ka, so he is animate, but has no personality and is able to do simple tasks.
19:20
John is not dead
19:21
John went with the Overtaken and Paul (edited)
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max-power™ 12/03/2020 5:10 PM
19 November 2020: We miss you already Paul Party: Rick, Digor, Phil, Perretti, Eucyrum, Collectivist Prime To recap, the two living mermelants headed off as soon as they got their bas back. The mermelant whose ba Perretti ate is now basically soulless husk and headed out with The Overtaken who was carrying a very badly injured Paul (e.g. he no longer has any eyes). Digor took a folding chair. Digor: +1 folding chair Tollmaster Sister to Perretti: Nice bout Perretti: I know! I was so good!!! TS: You really gave that Paul guy a talking to Perretti: I hate that guy. I’m going to turn him inside out when I find him! TS: Well anyway, here’s the bill for the damage you caused in the suite Perretti: That doesn’t go to me. That’s something Digor will take. Digor takes the bill Digor: +1 bill for 97 Cash Perretti: Have you seen some guy come by here TS: You must be talking about Frater Per Derabo…. I haven’t seen him in a long, long time (she looks wistful) Perretti: Was he your booooy frieeeend? TS: (blushes) He was looking for one of the ultras. You see, he knew he had a lot to do to build the soul carrying robot animals he was working on. In fact, he had more to do than he had time left, if you know what I mean. He went off to the compound of a wizard, but that was long before any of your time. Perretti: Here. Have a chocolate. It will make you feel better. TS: I can’t remember the wizard’s name: Zagro, Zagreb, … Anyway, to get there, go to the glass bridge. Take a right when you see the hill shaped like a frog. Go over a ridge and you will see a valley a beautiful lake and a stand of trees. The Wizard’s compound is on the south east edge of the lake. Perretti: (kisses Tollmaster Sister) Thanks, and don’t worry. Your heart will heal in time.
17:10
Perretti: By the way, what the heck is an ultra? TS: Ultras are non-mortal beings with physical forms. They are something like what some mortals call ghosts. They can inhabit other vessels, either meat or mechanical, or sometimes a combination of the two. Perretti: You’re an ultra aren’t you? TS: Well if you must know, I am an ultra. My vessel is 27% organic and 73% mechanical. I’m approximately 800 of the things you call years old. Perretti: Did you ever see Frater per Derabo again? TS: He did return one final time to say goodbye. He was still trying to transcend his mortal form. He told me that he was going west. The party prepares to head out. Digor fashions a rope harness to carry his folding chair on his back. He also gets a messenger bag because he’s tired of carrying things under his hat. Eucyrum finds a Greenlander poll arms dealer. The dealer is able to repair his pole arm for 20 Cash. Eucyrum: -20 Cash Eucyrum: Do you have any interesting pole arm heads? Dealer: I don’t know what you would call interesting. Eucyrum: Would you like to see my collection? Dealer: Very much! (After seeing the collection) I’m not worthy. If you find anything in the shop, I would happily part with it for just a signed picture with the most accomplished pole arm collector I’ve every met. Eucyrum eventually decides on the “Flying Guillotine” a terrifying collection of sticks and knives. It’s spring loaded and needs to be wound up to use. A minion arrives and whispers in Tollmaster Sister’s ear. TS: Perretti, bring your friends. There is something you should see. Perretti: OK TS: Come with me
17:11
1/2 mile out of town the group finds Paul dead. He’s smashed on a rock. Something very large and or strong had some strong feelings about Paul’s continued existence. Eucyrum loots the body, as one does. Digor takes the money found on the body and gives it to Tollmaster Sister. TS: Thank you, Digor. This will covert the damages you caused Digor helps bury Paul in Potter’s Field. Lu Ban motions to Eucyrum’s new pole arm head. Eucyrum understands Lu Ban would like to borrow it. Eucyrum: I’m not so sure about this. Do you see how scary this thing looks? Lu Ban: Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon or star. Perretti takes Paul’s legs and stuffs one in the boot and ties the other to the outside. Ceremony for the late Paul Bearer (I was not able to capture the eloquent eulogy for Paul that Perretti gave. Shoe, if you can recall more of the details, I’d welcome some words) Perretti: Paul was the worst. I wanted to kill him so bad and he went ahead and died with out me getting a chance. See you never, Paul!
17:12
The party continues to prepare to set off. Eucyrum, Perretti, and Digor track down Luke and Matthew. They are skeptical Paul is dead until Perretti shows them his teeth. The party convince the mermelants to take a job with them and to continue on to the Black City. The agreement is for the equivalent of a barrel of beer a week and a case of whiskey upon arrival at the Black City. Phil, that big spender, forks out for supplies. Phil: -380 Cash for a new wagon and enough grain spirit for 3 weeks for the mermelants -150 Cash for 5 weeks of provisions -200 Cash for a chitin forge mounted to a float table that can be used in transit It turns out that Collectivist Primes empty yellow ink tank affects more than just printing. He also can’t operate his compressor without the ink well being full. He is able to find a purveyor of ink with even the right form factor for his particular model of HP printer. It’s 80 Cash shock. Collectivist Prime: -80 Cash
17:12
On to the Oregon Trail! Day 1: Good progress, but lose a couple of hours fixing a wagon wheel Day 2: The frog shaped hill appears in the distance. The party must bushwhack, but are able to crest the ridge at twilight Day 3: At daybreak Lu Ban scans the clearing. There is a tower that appears to be constructed out of large hollow clay spheres. It’s 60 feet tall and appears abandoned. The party arrive at the clearing by the lake by mid morning. Lu Ban: Wherever you go, go with all your heart Lu Ban enters the tower, followed by Eucyrum, followed by Digor with gun drawn. The interior is extremely dusty. There is evidence that people or animals had tracked through the dust at some point in the distant past, but there is no evidence of any inhabitants for many hundred years. Eucyrum goes up to the second floor followed by Lu Ban. There design drawings for a rabbit on the chalk board. Lu Ban is very interested and copies the drawings onto some parchment. There is also another edition of Frater per Derabo’s diary. “My friend, X, has shown me how to transcend my mortal body. Good luck to you who follows me on my journey. I’m off to the near moon!”
17:12
The diary also has a map of a small sphere and a place on that sphere. In searching the building, the party, finds what appears to be Left Bunny in an armoire. It has been in there for a long time. Lu Ban: Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without Sildenafil is the winner of who to put in Left Bunny. The party thinks about trying to remove one of the souls to see if it’s possible but decide against it. The bunny animates and bounces around the room. Perretti rides it like a bucking bronco. Sildenafil: Will somebody please tell me what’s going on? Digor: Well it’s kind of a long story. You got your souls sucked out by the Dragon Also Rises. Were you running as a crew? There were a bunch of elves and one dwarf. S: That dude is solid. What’s going on now? Perretti: We’re making elf Voltron!!! S: I appear not to be the one in charge, if that’s the case. Everyone knows the head is always the leader in these things. D: Hey, would you rather be animate, or stay in your soul gem? We’ll find other bodies. S: So this is temporary? D: Yes, and I will get you a mounted laser gun for your new (temporary) body as soon as we can find one. Lu Ban: They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom Vardenifil: I miss my rune sword 😦 :( S: Who are you all anyway? D: We are just a group of explorers headed to the Black City. (edited)
17:12
After searching the rest of the tower Lu Ban finds an astrolabe. Rick finds a diary. And, in total, the group finds 200 Cash worth of equipment. Lu Ban: +1 astrolabe Rick: +1 diary Party: +200 Cash worth of equipment Lu Ban: When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps Lu Ban: All good things are difficult to achieve, and bad things are very easy to get +400 XP The party needs to decide before the next session whether to start back at the Moon Facing Ford or whether to start out from the tower.
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Jack Tatters 12/03/2020 8:34 PM
"I HATED THAT GUY. I MESSED HIM UP GOOD COS SCREW HIM. I WANTED TO KLL HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE WORLD. HE WAS THE WORST, I AM SO MAD HE'S DEAD."
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max-power™ 12/10/2020 5:11 PM
3 December 2020: Are you mooning me? Party: Digor, Rick, Phil, Lu Ban, Collectivist Prime, Agni, Perretti Lore: Those in the party who have a basis for comparison to the Earth/Moon system of our day, they notice that the Far Moon is somewhat analogous to our Moon except that it appears to has been significantly terraformed. There are people living on it and trees and everything. The Near Moon on the other hand is barren and grey as our Moon looks today. There is also a moon between the Near and Far Moons that is, in fact, made of green cheese. The multitude of fast stars are artificial moons (Starlink anyone?) The party starts at the Kraal Pylon. Phill has been working diligently on honing his skills with chitin manipulation and presents Digor with show armor that he can wear for bouts. It looks flashy, but does not offer the protection of sturdier materials. Digor makes good on his promise to left bunny and buys them a crossbow that can be mounted to the bunny’s exoskeleton. Digor: -100 Cash More Lore: (Thanks to Perretti grilling Tollmaster Sister the party learns more about how to be an ultra) Ultras can possess, but not every ultra decides to take a humanoid, or even ambulatory form. Parts do wear out and the sturdier the material they possess, the longer they can go without having to find another host. Tollmaster House, for example, is the actual house that is Pylon Kraal, and is 1000 years old. Tollmaster Door is asleep and is unpleasant to deal with so is not awakened unless absolutely necessary. He is, however, very good at his job of keeping bad things out. He has not been needed for over 100 years. Perretti and Tollmaster Sister go on a few dates.
17:11
Before setting out for the Near Moon, Perretti “helps” Digor take inventory. The party set out on a clear path toward the Near Moon. Poor Vorgo will have to remain a pug for a while longer yet. After a few days, the path begins to climb more and more steeply until it comes to the base of a cliff. At this point the path climbs even more steeply and the air gets colder and colder, especially at night. Finally the path crests and the group begins to descend. The path descends so steeply that Rick’s wagon begins to slide sideways and threatens to lose control. With Phil’s help, Rick is able to arrest the slide, but in the incident, an axle is broken and the party must take a full day to make the repair. Along the way, Lu Ban discovers some intriguing materials: some glowing metal and some glowing pink salts. The party notices Lu Ban inspecting the materials, but he doesn’t divulge anything about them. Lu Ban examines the near moon through his telescope. The surface looks cold and dead, but he thinks he may have seen something moving on the surface. The path begins to level out as the party enters a large valley. As they proceed into the valley Phil then Collectivist Prime feel some sort of field that gradually intensifies. Eventually everyone except Perretti feels what can only be described as and “electric wind”. Perretti notices a small white box flying directly at them at an incredible speed.
17:11
The box seems to be coming for Perretti specifically. Perretti dodges, but the box follows. The two dart around each other. Eventually the two settle into an equilibrium. Lu Ban is able to measure the size of the box: 10 centimeters. Agni is able to tell the box is enchanted with levitation and is a porcelain box encasing an enamel object. Upon closer inspection, Perretti sees a faint heart beating on the side of the box. They pet the box, the hear beats brighter and eventually the lid pops open. Inside are what looks like a mermelant molar and a small folded paper which appears to be a note. Perretti: Get away. It’s a bomb!!! Perretti secrets the molar and note away. The tooth tastes familiar. I could be John. John’s ba tasted similar. The note has a wax seal with a picture of an urn on it. The note has writing, but it’s inscrutable to Perretti. Perretti is very excited by the whole thing. So excited, in fact that they can’t keep the note and molar secret. Phil: I see you got a present. Did it come with a note? Perretti: Yes Phil: Well… what did it say? Perretti: Shut up!! Phil: That’s not nice 😦
17:11
The group continues on. Now that they are out of the mountains, the terrain has gotten swampier. As they approach the Near Moon, they can make out the settlement under the Near Moon conveniently named “The Under the Near Moon”. As they approach the settlement comes into focus. It consists primarily of hovels clustered around the core of a once great city from the long, long ago. The ancient sky scrapers are broken down, but sturdy enough to reach the few hundred meters to get near the surface of the Near Moon. At the top of the largest of the buildings, people have erected ladders to reach the surface. The near moon looms directly over head as the party enters the settlement. It appears to be about a mile and a half in diameter. Gravity does not seem to work here as it does elsewhere in the UVG. It feels as if Collectivist Prime threw one of the party directly up they could fall onto the New Moon. That probably wouldn’t be pleasant. The group is met by a small group of quarterlings being served by Ka zombies (creatures without Bas). The quarterlings welcome the travelers to Under the Near Moon and direct them to the local inn and watering hole, the Spectrum Lodge. The Spectrum Lodge is colorful like the Big Sur default background. The stables are 20 cash per mount per night. The suite is 5 cash per person per night and 10 cash per pet per night with 150 cash deposit each. Lu Ban: He who will not economize will have to agonize. Perretti pitches a show to the manager. “We typically cause very little serious property damage” 1 night room & board for a bout with local performers: Suite 23B Battle at 8:30AM
17:12
Off to the bar, of course. The bartenders name is Life is a Game. Agni: Give me some run and leave the botlle Rick: So Life is a Game, you look like you know your way around a cocktail. What do you say to a mix off? Life: 250 Cash? Rick: You’re on! Digor gives the bottle of sweet water that Lu Ban had given him to Rick in case it would help. Rick makes the best damn tequila moonrise of his life: tequila, triple sec, squid ink. Life is a Game throws in the towel and is so impressed that she invites Rick to guest bartend for the evening. Collectivist Prime and Digor play the side bets and net a total of 40 Cash betting on Rick. Collectivist Prime: +20 Cash Digor:+20 cash Rick: +250 Cash Life is a Game sits down next to Agni. Agni: Why the long face? Life: Memories best forgotten… If you go to the Near Moon and go inside, please tell my long, lost lover to come back to me. Agni: You can go in the moon? Life: Of course. You hunt on the outside, but inside is where you stay safe. Agni: What’s inside the moon? Life: The moon came a long way through the void. The moon is a crust on top of a void creature on top of a ship. If you get to the center of the moon, you can control the moon. Lu Ban: The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come.
17:12
Remembering the map in the diary of Fratter per Darabo, Life is a Game confirms the marked location is, in fact, the entrance to the inside of the Near Moon. Life: So where are you all going? Digor: The Black City, but we keep getting side tracked Life: Good luck… The group rents out the bar for the night and spend the evening hyping the next day’s bout: Party: +160 Cash Phil enters a drink off and loses. Phil: -100 Cash The bar closes at 03:30. Burt stays behind. The rest of the group heads home to catch a few winks before the match. Breakfast buffet comes with the deal. Everyone is delighted to see that there is an omelet station. Battle!!! The locals are: Austens the marksman Babeth the bullfighter Life is a Game
17:12
The rules are that the two groups start 300 meters apart. Anyone who makes it across the gap enters combat with Babeth and Life. Whoever is hit by a paintball fired by Austens the marksman is out of the bout. Lu Ban is immediately hit with a paintball. Rick is able to set up his ballista and fire a paint tipped bolt at Austens which hits and incapacitates Austens. Digor and Babeth enter close combat. Digor gets a few good hits in. Babeth grazes Digor. Babeth misses Digor, but puts him off balance. Digor tries to parry back, but accidentally hits with full force. Babeth is clearly in real trouble . Perretti give Babeth a honey cake which makes them feel somewhat better. Meanwhile, Collectivist Prime is engaged with Life is a Game. Collectivist Prime hits with a ray of enfeeblement with his staff. Life is a Game is staggered. Life tries to return the favor, but misses. Collectivist Primes return, as with Digor’s before, is unintentionally forceful. Life is a Game is nearly incapacitated, but is eventually able to slowly stand. Babeth concedes. The crowd roars. Party: +100 Cash Digor gives Babeth a healing potion. The manager was so impressed by the entertainment the group can stay the week. As the two groups amicably return to the Spectrum Lodge, Life is a Game explains a little more about the Near Moon.
17:13
Life is a Game: Here is a very loose sketch of a map to the entrance of the Near moon. You’ll need a ladder to get to the surface. There are many to choose from, but if someone is trying to charge you more than 50 Cash find another ladder. Anything on the crust should be killed. Once you get inside, you will need a blue sacrifice or you will need to figure out a difficult puzzle Collectivist Prime: Can it be a goat? Digor: No goats!! Collectivist Prime: OK only guilty goats Phil: Mmmm delicious goats Party: -50 Cash for large goats that can be healed by Digor and pre-passage on a ladder As the party ascends the ladder to the surface of the near moon, perspective begins to shift. As they get closer, it appears more and more that the moon is “down” and the earth is overhead. The party eventually make it to them moon surface and step off onto the moon. They head toward the moon entrance. 350XP
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max-power™ 12/17/2020 5:37 PM
10 December 2020: Trivia anyone? Party: Rick, Digor, Phil, Collectivist Prime, Perretti, Agni, Lu Ban The party stands on the earth facing surface of the Near Moon. This side of the moon is shadowy as it is not exposed to the sun or any other light emitting body. Reflected light from the planet surface provides enough light that the party can make out a sandy surface with very sharp rocks and mountains. The air smells of gun powder. Eucyrum gathers a sample of the surface dust and some small rocks. Because of the size of the moon, the horizon appears to be only a few hundred yards distant. Looking at the various maps the group has been given, the entrance to the interior of the moon is on the sun facing side. Phil kindly makes Eucyrum some chitin shoes, which Eucyrum uses to avoid cutting his paws. Eucyrum: +1 set of chitin shoes Parretti: Pssst, Eucyrum, will you read my note for me? Eucyrum: I’d love to, but I can’t read. Maybe Collectivist Prime will read it? Perretti does not conceal their utter disappointment at Eucyrum’s inability to read the note for them, but turns to Collectivist Prime to read the note. Collectivist Prime: Dear Perretti, Will you be my valentine? Love, XOXOXOXOX Paul Digor: Wait a second… Did Paul fakes his own death and overtake The Overtaken? Perretti: Paul was super dead Digor: Maybe he’s an ultra? Perretti: If he is still alive, I’m going to kill him! The party sets off Eucyrum: Perretti, will you be lookout for us? Perretti: Sure, since you asked so nice
17:37
(Quick aside) It turns out that Perretti was supposed to have given Eucyrum a new pole arm attachment. In retrospect it was a horn and mouthpiece attachment. The shaft, we find out, is hollow, so attaching the mouthpiece to one end and the bell at the other, the whole thing becomes a bugle of sorts. (End quick aside) As they make their way around the moon they realize they are walking on a layer of worms. The worms are a few inches long, grey, and have a lamprey like mouth at one end. The end that is not the end with the mouth smells more of gunpowder than the other. Digor uses Pil’s faraday net to determine if the worms are comes, which they are not. Digor can tell the worms are actively turning the surface rocks into the gunpowder smelling dust. Phil licks the dust off his fingers. It tastes like what you’d think gun powder would taste like. Eucyrum is confident there is very little chance of a surface wide fire despite the ubiquitous powder. Phil collects some worms. Phil +worms
17:38
A little while later the group crosses the terminus and comes into the sun. A flock reptilian flying creatures wheels in the sky. The party debated whether to pet them, kill them, or leave them alone, but Perretti makes a decision by chasing one down and getting on its back. The rest of the flock surrounds the one Perretti is riding which gradually loses motive force and falls to the ground. It’s not dead exactly, but doesn’t seem to have the will or ability to move. Digor tries to revive it by petting it gently, but nothing happens. Perretti puts the creature in their boot. Digor: Come on. Boot’s are for dead stuff. Eucyrum: Perhaps it will be dead rather soon. Proceeding toward the entrance marker on the map as they come over a rise, they see a wall of black clouds and lightning in the distance. It looks foreboding. As they approach the clouds the group comes upon another odd creature. It looks like a large slab of leather moving on lots of tiny legs. It has feathery antennae. Perretti puffs the antennae with their wings and the creature pulls itself into a near perfect sphere. Perretti tries to move it like a katamari, but fails pretty hilariously, so they ask Eucyrum to roll it for them. The ball bounces and rolls over the sharp rocks, suffering no damage. It appears that this creature has adapted to the moon. Moving on, the party comes within striking distance of the wall of clouds and lightning. The cloud wall is clearly manufactured. The wall is very sharp and vertical. Eucyrum can tell the lightning is magical. Eucyrum and Rick construct a crude lightning rod using a barista bolt and unwinding the Faraday net around the shaft to provide a ground for the iron tip. Eucyrum takes the lead. The party can tell the storm is directly over the place marked on the map as the entrance to the interior of the Near Moon.
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Perretti is not afraid of the lightning and charges forward. The cloud produces a terrific bombardment of lightning. Perretti eats the lightning, it fills them up like a Chinese buffet. Eucyrum and Rick are less sure they would survive such an encounter. They approach more slowly. The storm is obviously building energy with another lightning attack eminent. When Eucyrum feels his fur standing straight out from his body like a puff ball he plants the lightning rod in the ground. With a might CRAAAAACK, an enormous bolt shoots from the inky swirl of clouds straight at the lightning rod. GO, GO, GO!!! The party scramble into the clouds hoping that whatever is creating the lightning will take some time to recharge. In the rush Eucyrum trips and bangs his chin on the ground causing a cut to open and begin seeping blood. Suddenly the group stumbles en masse into a clearing ringed by the angry clouds. In the middle of the clearing is a building. It’s a bar with a neon sign that either says “Four Winds Bar” or “Winds Four Bar” Through the front door of the bar. It takes a moment for their eyes to adjust to the dim interior. There are several people in the bar. Notably a man wearing what appear to be welding goggles chanting Molva! Molva! A woman behind the bar ready to serve the new patrons. Agni orders a golden sipping rum — 8 cash and he starts a tab. Eucyrum gets a bitter Manhattan — 9 cash. Collectivist Prime orders a glass of generic yellow ink. Digor gets some cow’s milk (there were a variety of milk options). Rick orders a whiskey for himself and for the lady next to him at the bar. The guy with the goggles looks irritated about someone buying her a drink. Eucyrum Perretti each enjoy a “Moonlight, Starlight and a couple of last breaths.” This drink is especially expensive since the last breaths need to be sourced.
17:39
The group asks about Frater per Darabo, “someone who’s name starts with X” and Memories Best Forgotten. The guy with goggles: Are you kidding me?? Drinks on me!!! Finally, some people with something a little interesting to talk about! I’m Desdinova. We haven’t had anyone come ‘round for nearly 100 years. It’s nice people are still interested. That’s Suzie Dear over there and Carrie behind the bar. Desdinova: Darabo found a way to transcend something like 300 years ago with X. They went inside by somehow managed to come back out. Most people don’t do that. I will note that Darabo was in a new body. Some sort of metal skull with wings or something. Memories Best Forgotten, now, he came around about 400 years ago. He was an ultra and went in, but never came out. Digor: If he’s an ultra, he can’t die, so where is he? Eucyrum: Have you been inside? Desdinova, Carrie, Suzie Dear: Yes! Agni: Well what’s in there? Suzie: Crust, then meat, then ship Desdinova: At the center is the ship Plutonic. That was my old ship. Agni: Your ship? Where are you from? Desdinova: That’s a long story. The vessel I currently inhabit is from New Hampshire circa 1925. My Ba is from the stars. I’m a guide of sorts, and Suzie there is my granddaughter. Eucyrum: Suzie, are you from here? Suzie: Well this body is, but I don’t get sentimental about that Agni: It’s very nice to meet someone the same age as me Suzie: Hey pops, this Agni guy is legit Perretti: I’m legit too!!! Suzie: OK, you’re right. What are you doing with short timers? Perretti: (shrugs) Desdinova: Well do you want to go inside? Group: Yes! Desdinova: OK then. Grass (drugs), Gas (money), or Ass (blood) nobody rides for free
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I guess the party chooses Grass, perhaps since Digor objected to cutting either of the goats. The entire party and Desdinova file into the mens restroom. It’s a one holer so the fit is pretty tight. Desdinova brings out a powder. “World Without End” Everyone does a line. It’s like ice cold champagne fireworks behind your eyes. Lu Ban: It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop Agni has a slightly different experience from the rest of the group and seems to feel an ice spirit living inside of him. The crust is dead and cold. The mantel is a living void monster. The center is the ship Plutonia A door in the bar opens and reveals a large elevator (the up button does nothing). As the elevator descends, it gets warmer and wetter. It smells of rotting meat and gun powder. Rick marks chambers as they enter indicating the direction of travel. After a time they come into a chamber with a large gleaming crystal cap in floor. There are chrome skeletons strewn about. They seem to have wands of some sort. Collectivist Prime notices no radiation. Agni bends to pick up one of the wands but Lu Ban stops him. Lu Ban: Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous
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The skeletons seem to be de-evolved humans, but with ultra tech. Agni gets the feeling there is something vehicular under the crystal cover. Lifting the shell reveals a 1957 red Chevy Bel Air convertible. It says “Highway Star” on the side. Perretti tries the key and it roars to life. Rick takes the wheel and they begin to drive deeper into the caverns of living stone. The first chamber has what look like primitive robots embedded in the walls. The second is lined by survival pods occupied by skeletal figures. The third has strange articulated fossil plants. Finally, they come into a large room housing what appears to be a dead alien forest biosphere. In the center is a clearing with a pedestal. On the pedestal is a projection of a golden idol of some sort. It’s not exactly a holograph as it has some interaction with the physical world. Collectivist Prime puts his arm through it and it does move a few centimeters in the direction he pushes, but ultimately his hand passes through the other side. Perretti: Hi! (At this point a game of Trivial Pursuit breaks out. I was unable to capture the questions and answers, but I’ll try to give credit for the pie pieces) The characters were zapped Rick yellow wedge Rick pink wedge (with Lu Ban’s help via in game chat. There may have been a little metagaming during this part) Eucyrum blue wedge Perretti green wedge Perretti brown wedge Agni orange wedge The idol turns to pure gold worth 1000 cash party: golden statue Digor give Rick a health potion. He looks somewhat better +500XP
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max-power™ 01/07/2021 5:30 PM
17 December 2020: That’s not a ship. This is a ship. Party: Perretty, Eucyrum, Collectivist Prime, LuBan, Digor, Rick, Agni After winning the idol in the most painful game of Trivial Pursuit ever, the party decides to spend the night (or at least a night length amount of time) in the idol room. The sphere of house is installed on the idol’s pedestal and secured in place with rocks and stones chocked around the bottom. Eucyrum takes first watch. A radiation ghost shows up, looks around, gets bored and leaves. LuBan takes next watch. He hears some clanging and scraping noises. LuBan cautiously peaks into the corridor, but does not see anything obvious. LuBan wakes Digor (apparently skeletons need to sleep). Collectivist Prime rolls his eyes and mutters “I could have done this whole watch myself”. Nothing of note happens during Digor’s watch. Rick is up next. As he keeps watch, the ground under his feet begins to tremble. The tremor grows until Rick is certain the whole moon is shaking. Then it stops. The next “morning” the party spends something like 3 hours wandering around a collapsed area of the caverns. Perretti is very mad about the wasted time, which is pretty weird given that by all accounts Perretti is immortal. They finally find their way out of the tumble down passage. They find themselves in a corridor of living stone, but not quite healthy living stone. The stone is studded with sickly looking polyps. Eventually they come to what, at first, looks like a dead end. On further inspection the dead end is actual a plasteel plug with a small passage at the bottom. The whole group crawls through the passage and emerge into a huge chamber with glittering dust everywhere. The chamber is brightly lit from lights over head. Huge mechs that look like 15’ trilobites stand silently around the room. LuBan: Study the past if you would define the future
17:31
Inspecting one of the mechs, the they can tell that these mechs are powered by electricity not magic. Digor pokes the thing, but nothing happens. Perretti plays the exoskeleton like a big set of drums. Still nothing happens. LuBan collects a sample of whitish grease that has collected around the joints. Rick and LuBan inspect the plasteel plugs. They were breached with fairly minimal effort using laser torches or similar. LuBan looks longingly back through the passage at the Bel Air. (Suzie is the ultra that came with the party from the bar) Digor: Suzie, do you know what’s up with all this? Suzie: I think this is all probably due to the Nuclearlithics. Don’t worry. We’ll meet them at some point. Eucyrum: Suz, have you seen these mechs move? Suzie: No. These are pretty fast asleep. They were used to build the crust. Digor: Are they ultras? Suzie just shrugs They head back to the car to explore further. On the way Eucyrum turns to Perretti. Eucyrum: If I die this time, you can eat me. Perretti (solemnly): I will. I promise. As they explore they are clearly going down. The air gets warmer and more humid. The wall seem more flesh like. In one chamber they meat a radiation ghost. This time instead of ignoring the group it dive bombs the car. Rick panics, but manages to get the car turned around and escapes the chamber. Eventually the tunnels turn into passages that look more like sewer tubes. The air is even wetter and warmer and smells of meat and flowers. The wall glow green and red in places. The walls also seem to harbor animals like worms and anemones. LuBan catches an anemone in his umbrella. The tunnel opens into an enormous chamber with a large orifice in the center. LuBan: Faithfulness and sincerity are the highest things
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Digor: LuBan I can’t help but notice you have an anemone LuBan offers Digor the umbrella and anemone. Digor stuffs the anemone into his skull to give it a nice safe place to live. LuBan: All is beauty which cannot be seen LuBan poses gracefully on one leg and slowly transforms into a crane. In crane form he lifts into the air and circles down through the orifice. Perretti in Perretti form joins LuBan in exploring through the orifice. They see a thick layer of pinkish goo on the floor of a large chamber. There are fleshy islands in the goo. Tunnels open up on the sides of the chamber. They report back to the group. Those in the party who cannot fly tie a rope to the axle of the car and repel through the hole. They come down on a largish rubbery island. Agni tests the pink goo by throwing a chunk of his rations into it. It just sits there though it does show that there is a slight current in the liquid. Having had enough of standing around, Digor wades into the fluid. After assessing the pink goo isn’t fatal, the group is able to make good headway exploring. After a few more hours, they notice the fleshy covering on the walls is pulling back. In areas where the flesh has died back sufficiently, it’s apparent the crystal like structures support the flesh from underneath. They come to an area where the crystals are completely exposed. There is rancid air flowing back and forth. Eucyrum: What is this place? Suzie: It’s a hurt lung. It looks like parts of the ship poking through. LuBan: Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses. Suzie: I did try to fix the ship, but it’s really quite hard
17:31
The injured lung has a large outflow tube and many small bulbs on the walls. Eucyrum tries to cut a bulb down. It slips from his hand and explodes when it hits the floor. From inside 4 remora like creatures attack the party with teeth that burrow into flesh. Perretti takes care of one of the monsters by flying in it’s mouth and basically eating it from the inside out. LuBan takes care of one with an artful dodge and riposte. One of the monsters goes after Collectivist Prime. This is a bad idea for several reasons, not least because he has no flesh. Collectivist Prime unceremoniously smushes the unfortunate creature. Eucyrum is able to deftly divide the last in two with his pole arm. The hole in the wall behind the bulb (alveoli?) spurts liquid periodically. The party hacks the hole larger and eventually have it large enough to walk through. They come to a dry chamber with polyps. LuBan: When anger rises, consider the consequences Digor probes one of the polyps. Perretti bounces on one, but gets poked by something inside. Perretti cuts one open and stale, fetid bones fall to the floor. Not good even for Perretti to save. The bones could be human, but are to far gone to tell for sure. There is a circular scar in the wall. Fire can be seen beyond. Shadows move on the wall. Agni: Perretti, will you scout ahead? Perretti: Yes, but you will pay me in meat.
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Perretti sees 6, 6 armed humanoid figures. The fire ring is made of bones like what fell out of the polyp. They are roasting flesh that appears to be cut directly from the walls. The assumption is that this is the void monster. Perretti swoops in and eats all the meat. The humanoids blame each other and fight over who ate the meat. Perretti reports all of this. The group decides it’s best to leave the six armed beings a their space. It turns out these are the Nuclearlithics. LuBan: As the water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it, so a wise man adapts himself to circumstances. As they continue, they pass Nuclearlithic skeletons and eventually come to what look like crystal mouth parts and a pane of stuck force. There is a red button beside the plane of stuck force. Suzie: I wouldn’t push that button with a 10 foot pole Digor: Would you push it with a 12 foot pole? Suzie: Absolutely! Digor pushes the button with Eucyrum’s pole arm with the 12 foot attachment and the stuck force disappears. Beyond is what looks like an airlock. Beyond the airlock is a room with stuck force planks, milky crystals and furniture of a sort. Eucyrum: Suzie, is this the ship? Suzie: Yes it is. 600XP
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Heard a Who 01/07/2021 6:43 PM
does Digor sleep the sleep of the dead?
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the doc 01/07/2021 6:43 PM
Is that a reference I dont get? (edited)
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Heard a Who 01/07/2021 6:58 PM
well, the play report said "LuBan wakes Digor (apparently skeletons need to sleep)." and the sleep of the dead is a metaphor for sleeping deeply, or for a long time... in any case, difficult to rouse. You KNEW, coming from me, that it was a dad pun.
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max-power™ 01/14/2021 5:07 PM
7 January 2021: That feeling when thousands of needles penetrate your flesh simultaneously Party: Phil, Collectivist Prime, Eucyrum, Digor, Rick, Perretti Inside the ship there are planes of stuck force everywhere. It’s definitely a ship, but feels a little dated and or forced. The interior is wrecked with overturned chairs. Things have obviously slid around etc. An aside on stuck force. Stuck force always takes a rectilinear shape. I is not damaging like some force fields are. Typically blue and translucent close to opaque. It was a very common building material in the long, long ago. The stuck force planes seem impervious, but it’s hard to know just how strong they are. Though the planes are solid, the surface is very slick and can’t be truly gripped to move the planes. Eucyrum: Suzie, are we near the control room for this ship? Suzie: The control room is a few more decks in. The center of the ship is the null space engine. The bridge is immediately around that. Digor: Is it possible to fix stuck force? Suzie: You could try turning off the stuck force generators and turning them back on again. Phil: Were the stuck force in place to prop up the wrecked ship or what? Suzie: They were pushed out of place during the wreck Phil: Were you in the wreck? Suzie: Actually I was. We were minding our own business and along came a humpback void monster came out of nowhere and ate the ship. In our attempt to not be eaten, we crashed over what might have been Earth. The heat shields collided with the atmosphere. There was a cacophony and I woke up int the Four Winds with a cold cloth on my head.
17:07
For some reason, Digor starts showing the face he usually puts on when he is concentrating hard on a spell. Suddenly the entire party is porcine except for Digor, who remains himself, and Perretti who turns into a hedgehog. Collectivist Prime is an iron pig. With the lack of opposable thumbs all party members drop whatever they were holding. The anemone inside Digor’s head also turns into a pig. Ouch!! Bits of the skull burst out last the pig exceeds the available space. Eucyrm eats the pig spell successfully learning, in the process, how to reverse the spell. He pops between porcine form and polecat from a few times, then teaches Perretti how to turn back to normal form. But Perretti decides to stay in the form of a winged hedgehog Perretti: Mmmmmm bacon….. Eucyrum: I’m sorry, Perretti, but we really do need Suzie. Perretti: OK :( Eucyrum: We also really need the rest of these folks. Perretti: Really??? Awwww Eucyrum: Yes we do Perretti: You owe me a pig feast!! Eucyrum: Fair enough. Once we get back on solid ground. Perretti: Is that a date?!?! Eucyrum: Why not ;) All the party except Paretti are successfully return to their original forms. Perretti: Suzie, just so you know, I could have eaten you, but I didn’t. Suzie: Thanks…..? Digor begins piecing his skull back together. The party go looking for the the stuck force generator. It’s 50 feet tall. There is green fluid in balls. Inside the balls are humanoid skeletons wearing polyester jumpsuits. From each ball there are planes of stuck force emanating from the skeletons. Suzie: Those poor guardians 😦 (tears) Perretti speaks to the skeletons, and learns that they are trying to contain the force of the null space and can’t leave. Perretti: The skeletons are tired and want to clock out. Suzie: Should I tell them to quit? Perretti; Yes Suzie: You may go
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All of the spheres implode. The ground shakes. Perretti shields Eucyrum. All stuck force in the ship is gone. They survive the implosion and continue on to the bridge. There are metal and crystal coils on top of coils. There are three switches. Two are in and one is out. There is a severed hand gripping the one in the out position Digor: Suzie what happens if we turn that switch on? Suzie: Well, it will either detonate the null space engines or activate them. They push the button. A hum starts low and gets higher and louder. It eventually plateaus and the null space engine appears to be operating. Just when it seems things are going well, a void assault arachnid attacks. It goes for Digor first and misses. Digor is able to hit back with his axe, but in the process a large chip appears in the blade. Eucyrum executes a beautiful “Power Word Poop” and Rick hits with his crossbow. Digor is able to land a blow with both his blade and his chair. Three of the arachnid’s legs fall off. It’s now just kind of stumbling around. Perretti stabs (somehow, magic maybe?) and ichor bubbles out of the wound. Phil grapples the monster and holds two of the legs together. It struggles to go after Digor, but misses and Digor lands the finishing blow in the riposte. Using an ancient incantation from the Blue Oyster Cult, Eucyrum turns the spider into Satan’s feast. Perretti dives into the wound they caused and eats the carcass from the inside out. 3 out of 5 stars. Perretti now looks even more glittery and magical than before.
17:08
Perretti talks to the severed hand. Perretti: Yo hand! What’s up? Hand: Don’t let the void monster eat you up. Perretti eats the hand, because the arachnid was just an appetizer. Perretti now has the consciousness of the hand inside. The party turns to the panels of crystal and metal coils and levers. They pull all the crystals out. The hum turns into more of a thrumming sound. Adjacent to the switch room is a room with a throne. The throne has needles protruding from it all over. Eucyrum turns to Perretti. Eucyrum: If anything should happen to me when I sit on the comfy looking throne of needles, please say the following incantation to the void monster. Eucyrum puts his lips close to where a flying hedgehog’s ears probably would be and whispers the incantation. He then sits on the throne and thousands of needles protrude and sink into his flesh. Through the unpleasantness of being stabbed by thousands of needles, Eucyrum grows to realize that he is in full control of the ship. Eventually he has become one with the ship. He commands the ship to rise slightly and begins to inch toward the Black City. Eucyrum: We are moving toward the Black City. I don’t know how long power will last. He is now traveling 5 times the speed of a standard caravan. Eucyrum (who has gained the ability to communicate with other beings telepathically): Desdenova, we are heading to the black city! Desdenova: Good on you! Hey a note came from The Overtaken and Paul Bearer. “Meet at the Spectrum Palace ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️” There were also special notes for Perretti and Digor (but I forgot to write down what they said, so if anyone remembers).
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Oops they took off without any of the pets, creatures and stuff that could not make it up the ladder. The go back to the mooring point. Eucyrum: Vorgo, I am the Near Moon. Please assemble the crew! Vorgo: OK boss. Give me an hour… Or maybe 3 hours. The group agrees to go get Vorgo’s lady at the Spectrum Palace. Then invite anyone who wants to go west. After 3.5 hours, Vorgo has assembled all the stuff and creatures and pets in a pile. Vorgo: Eucyrum, beam me up! Everyone is now aboard with a map to the bridge. Life Is A Game came along for the ride. Go see the Spectrum Palace to: * Meet Paul * Find Vorgo’s lover and give her father the blue oyster pearl * Look for Frater Per drabo Eucyrum uses his new found power to speak to other beings telepathically to reach out to Frater Per Derabo. Eucyrum: Frater where are you Frater: I’m in the Black City Eucyrum: We have some of your stuff including a bunny and a rat Frater: Amazing! Perretti: Psst… tell him that Tollmaster Sister misses him Euctyrum: Tollmaster Sister misses you Frater: That’s embarrassing Eucyrum: We are trying to complete your elf Voltron (yes, we know there is one dwarf in there). Where are the other pieces? Frater: There is one near Cold Lake Eucyrum: Thanks Eucyrum to the surface worms: Hey worms. What do you want? Worms: Calcium and amino acids Eucyrum to Tollmaster Sister: Hey there. We are heading to the Spectrum Satrap Tollmaster Sister: Awesome. That’s great! Eucyrum: I’m now in contact with Frater Per Derabo. Do you have anything you’d like him to hear? Tollmaster Sister: Yes. Don’t ghost me! I don’t deserve it. Party: +1 moon 700XP !
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richardgrenville 01/14/2021 10:31 PM
this write up is amazing
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max-power™ 01/15/2021 1:02 PM
Thanks!
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max-power™ 01/21/2021 5:26 PM
14 Jan 2021: You were the one who wanted to be a pilot Party: Eucyrum, Rick, Digor, Collectivist Prime, Perretti (for a bit) The moon is at the mooring point. Eucyrum attempts to contact Matthew the mermelant via telepathy Eucyrum: Hi there Matthew: Wait what?? Who’s in my head Eucyrum: It’s just me, Eucyrum. Got a minute? Matthew: I guess so, but it will cost you 3 gallons of beer per minute Eucyrum: That seems reasonable, but then again… I can drop the moon on you. (Wiggles the moon menacingly) Matthew: OK fine. Can we get up there with you? Eucyrum: I have a tractor beam kind of thing, but I really don’t know exactly how it will work Matthew: I guess you could try on me… Eucyrum: I have a better idea. Let’s try to get a winch up to the moon surface and then we can just pull up anything we want Matthew: I think I can procure such a thing. Give me a couple of hours. In the mean time Eucyrum tries to get in touch with Memories Best Forgotten Eucyrum: Alexa, call Memories Best Forgotten Alexa: Calling Memories Best Forgotten telepathy Bring….bring….bring….bring…bring….bring Click After a couple of hours Matthew shows back up and assembles the winch. Matthew: Look who I found… Life is a Game: Hey all. Can I come too? Eucyrum: I’ll lift you up with the winch. How does that sound? Life is a Game: I’m game. Eucyrum: Bring padding. I’m not sure how this is all going to go. Life is a Game: I’ve got a really nice body pillow I can use
17:27
Life is a Game, the body pillow and the winch all rise into the air. At the point where pull from the planet and pull from the moon cross over Life is a Game gets the weird sensation that the tractor beam turns from a pull force to a push force so she lands as gently on the moon as she was lifted from the planet. Installing the winch it is fairly easy to throw the winch cable with enough force that it can overcome the moon’s pull and fall to the ground. After a few cycles of winching and throwing everyone is aboard the moon ship including supplies. Digor: Maybe we should try to shed some crust and monster so we can pilot this ship as it was intended Eucyrum: Are you crazy?!?!? The crust and monster are the only things holding this bucket of bolts together Digor: I guess we did turn off the stuck force generators Eucyrum: Calling Desdanova. Come in Desdanova. Desdanova: Hello? Eucyrum: I’m calling from the bridge of the Plutonia. Without some TLC, this ship is not going to hold together long Desdanova: I guess we better get down there Eucyrum: We can hold on long enough for you to get the rest of the crew inside. While I have you, is there anyplace you’d like to go? Desdanova: Not at the moment. At some point I’d like to get to the Far Moon and there are some folks in the fast stars I’d like to drop in on. Eucyrum via actual voice: Hey all, Desdanova is coming down keep alert!
17:27
Eucyrum: Frater per Darabo, come in Frater per Darabo... Frater per Darabo: Hello? Eucyrum: Quick question. We’ve been wondering if the souls we put in your mechs can be removed without damaging either the soul or the mech. Frater per Darabo: Oh, yes. They are completely interchangeable. It was in the original ICD as a main requirement that the souls be easily removable. Oh, by the way there are two more mechs near by. One is at Cold Lake. Once you find that one, we’ll talk. After 2 more hours, the rest of the crew makes it to The Four Winds and Desdanova and Carrie set off to the Plutonia. An interesting aside on werepuggery, once forgo is in the moon, the moon no longer can make him into a pug, so as long as he is in the moon he will remain in human form, however a human mooning him still has the effect of turning him into a pug temporarily. Eucyrum: Void creature, come in void creature Void creature: ssssshhhhheeeeeeekscreeach Eucyrum is in physical and psychic pain from the static and feedback reflected back at him from the void creature Some people go to sleep. Eucyrum pilots on. Desdenova: I will say the throne is quite hard on the body. At the rate we are going we may need a new pilot before we reach the Spectrum Palace.
17:27
Eucyrum decides to double the speed. He’s somewhat attached to his body. As the speed increases, there is a noticeable shimmy, that increases from rattle to shake. There’s a kind of cracking and thunking sound. The whole vehicle feels lighter. A chunk of the crust has fallen off. Eucyrum is too tired to go on safely. He finds a a valley between a mountain ranges well matched to the moon’s size. He sets down in the depression. When the moon is at rest, Eucyrum pulls his body out of the pilot’s chair. As each needle pulls free a new small bloody patch is left behind. Eventually Eucyrum has freed himself, but is bleeding profusely and does not look at all well. Desdanova: Whoa. I have never seen anyone try that before!!! Eucyrum: How long has any pilot survived driving this kind of rig? Desdanova: A couple of months is about the max. Next day— Eucyrum is covered in thousands of those little teeny band aids you thought you’d never use. Desdanova and Carrie are death warmed over hung over (I didn’t mention it but they were quite drunk when they showed up at the Plutonia and just kept on from there) Eucyrum puts on his emerald item hoping it will make him feel better Eucyrum: Charles the grinning boy? Desdanova: Nasty little guy Eucyrum: Did he drive? Desdanova: oh he drove right off a cliff Clearly the group needs a new pilot. There’s no way Eucyrum is getting back in that seat. None of the rest of the party is keen to get in the chair given the paper mâché like coating of band aids cover a significant fraction of Eucyrum’s body.
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Pop!!!! Out of nowhere a two headed, three armed person materializes out fo thin air and agrees to be pilot. He’s quite clearly Zaphod Beeblebrox. Rick makes him a pan galactic gargle blaster and a second…then a third Now that Zaphod has had enough drinks to pilot, he lifts off. Another bit of crust falls off. Zaphod is capable of carrying on a conversation while also piloting. Eucyrum keeps Zaphod talking as he flies as one of his heads has nodded off and the other seems like it could follow suit. Just as they arrive at Cold Lake, Zaphod pops back out as quickly as he popped in. Even without a pilot, the moon hovers where it was when Zaphod left. This is ~200m above the lake shore. The party heads to the surface. The nuclearlithics are clearly more worried about the situation than before. It also appears that the void creature is healing. It is visibly less injured than the last time they came through. They eventually make it back to the Four Winds. Vorgo: Hey what’s up? Digor: Let’s go to the surface to look for another rodent body Eucyrum: Desdanova, please don’t leave us behind Desdanova: I’ll do my best, but if things go south, I can’t promise anything. Make sure you are back within a week
17:28
From the surface of the moon the mermelants staff the winch. The party with vorgo and the rodents are lowered to the ground where they find themselves on a cold, wind swept plateau. There is a sharp cliff to the lake. The party can see smoke rising from several locations along the perimeter of the lake. There are a set of towers to the south. It looks like the larger settlements are to the north. The party decides to go to the towers first. They turn out to be two forty meter high models of the hind legs of a rearing horse. It appears to be a sculpture made of fake marble. The legs are snapped off at the top so the whatever there was of the rest of the horse is now missing. This leaves just the hind legs standing on the hooves. The missing pieces don’t appear to be around anywhere. Stephen Larry Fox flies up to take a look at the broken ends and reports back that they seem solid, and that the rodent isn’t there (at least Digor thinks that’s what he says). At the bottom is a large plinth. It’s 20 feet high and 80 feet on a side. There is an inscription in a script unfamiliar to most in the group. Vardenafil, however is able to read it: “Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair”
17:28
There doesn’t appear to be anything else to do with the statue, so the group heads back to the lake shore. The come across a milky tributary to the lake. This is in stark contrast to the virtual complete clarity of the lake itself. Digor: Let’s find the head of the river After following the creek for some distance into the surrounding highlands, the group makes camp with the watch order being Eucyrum, Digor then Rick. Eucyrum sees what appears to be a pile of charcoal that is repeatedly trying to form into a humanoid shape and falling apart. He thrusts a magical item into the midst of the charcoal pieces as it attempts to stand. It falls apart, but is able to form into a little human and says “what do you want?” Charcoal: Don’t threaten me and I won’t threaten you. Eucyrum: We can help Charcoal: We are just waiting for our master, Naproxin, creator of the world. He will return!
17:29
The rest of the night is uneventful. The group continues on following the river into the mountains. Eucyrum takes a quick bath in the opaque stream and immediately realizes why the water is so cloudy. It’s filled with amoebas of all sizes. Eucyrum is attacked by a larger specimen and is able to barely fend it off. “Don’t go in there” is his advice. “So many noodly appendages!” As they get higher and higher, they can see more of the perimeter of the lake. Eventually the ground becomes to rugged to make further headway. They turn to take stock of what they can see from this high vantage point. There is a major settlement to the north with a few smaller towns scattered around. On the other side of the lake, they can see a couple of larger villages. Further down the shore of the lake they were following is a place where the trails from the three largest settlements meet up. This seems like a reasonable goal. Backtracking to the lake takes most of the day. Once there they camp with an uneventful overnight. The group heads toward the largest settlement upon arriving: Towns person: Hail. Welcome to Jade Bear Bob. Digor: Hey there. We are looking for robots. Do you know anything about that? Person: Hmm. A little. What kind? Eucyrum: These are special robots made by a fellow named Frater per Darabo. Maybe you’ve heard of him? Person: If it was more than a couple of lifetimes ago, I’m probably not going to know. I’m really not a history buff, but you could ask the priests The towns person brings two priests, one man and and one woman.
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Man Priest: Frater per Darabo came through this area many generations ago. So long ago, in fact, that my mind has become hazy. Perhaps a donation to our order would assist in refreshing my failing memory. Gas, grass or ass, nobody rides for free. Digor: How about gas. I have 100 Cash? Woman Priest: Oh! In that case, just go 3 hours up the coast. Turn left and you’ll see a cave 30 feet up on the hill. It’s definitely not a vome nest. It’s definitely a robot. I’m sure it’s a robot. Digor: -100 cash The party sets off for the cave, but need to camp early on in the trek. Watch is Digor, Rick, Eucyrum. Things are calm for Digor and Rick. On Eucyrum’s watch he notices some deer watching from a few paces away. He tries to spook the deer by making an obviously predatory slink toward them. The deer stands its ground and Eucyrum sees the deer’s eyes are solid silver. The deer charges, but Eucyrum is ready and fells it with a might chop of his poll arm. Silver blood pours from the wound. Eucyrum: Get up! Get up everyone! Vome infestatio. The remaining deer scatter into the night. Eucyrum resumes the watch and the rest of the party are able to get a few more hours sleep.
17:29
In the morning after a few more hours walk, they come to the cave. They enter the cave and it smells of blood and metal. There is a small passage. Digor then Eucyrum then Rick pass through the passage which opens into a large chamber. They surprise a mother bear who is understandably mad at the intrusion. They party can see a mechanical rabbit in the shadows on the other side of the bear. Digor uses his understanding of animal husbandry to calm the mother bear who retreats far enough that the group can approach the rabbit. Eucyrum: Seldenifil, can we take you out of this body and put you in this one. You already know how to interact with this vessel. I’m afraid if we put a new soul in this rabbit we will not be able to get out before the bear regains her courage. Seldenifil: Sounds like a plan
17:29
The mama bear growls at Digor and advances. Eucyrum puts Seldenifil in the new rabbit with charges out of the cave. This startles the bear enough that she sees no option other than attacking Eucyrum. Since Eucyrum had the forethought to equip the man catcher head of his pole arm, he is ready for the charge and clamps it around the bear’s middle. Keeping the bear at pole’s length he is able to execute a sort of meandering waltz while they revolve around each other, separated by the pole. Rick gets Seldenifil from the other mech and puts him back in left rabbit. Digor takes the man catcher from Eucyrum hoping that he may be able to calm the bear some while the others escape. Digor opens the man catcher and dashes for the exit. The bear is faster than he is and gives him a swipe on his way out the door. It’s just a ~flesh~ bone wound. Digor: Seldenifil which ba should we put in right rabbit? Seldenifil: Frankly, it doesn’t matter much to me. We can always reorganize later, right? Quilquenacil in right rabbit. This rabbit body is deep blue. 600XP
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max-power™ 01/28/2021 3:41 PM
21 January 2021: That’s not a parking spot!!! Party: Eucyrum, Rick, Digor, Perretti The party has 2.5 days to get back to the Near Moon/Plutonia. They head back to Jake Bear Bob Village. They didn’t notice it on the way through the first time, but now they notice a set of tents that serve as the town inn. In one tent is a pub, the other contains rows of bunk beds. Rick ands Digor buy 20 provisions at 6 cash each for the party. Rick: -78 Cash Digor: -42 Cash Eucyrum asks around and is able to procure a ~lifetime supply of teeny tiny bandaids and a bottle and a jar of local vodka for 15 Cash. It turns out that no one actually uses those teeny tiny bandaids, so there is a surplus basically any where you go. They group realize they need to travel basically day and night to get back to the moon in time. The plan is for the mechs to carry the sphere of house with one watch at a time. Burt was not allowed to ride in the sphere of house because of his hygiene issue. The mechs can travel day and night if charged with plasmic cores on a ~daily basis. First watch, Digor: Nothing of note Second watch, Eucyrum: As the party approach a ford in a river, several shadowy silver figures emerge from the lake. Eucyrum wakes the rest of the group. Eucyrum and Digor approach the figures. They immediately form a line in the middle of the river spanning the ford. Eucyrum will act as emissary. Eucyrum: Digor, I’ll approach them, but expect a challenge Digor: OK Eucyrum: I’m leaving my cat rifle Eucyrum equips the flying guillotine assuming they won’t realize its deadliness. He approaches the line of figures and the one in the middle moves forward to meet him. The figure is silver from head to toe with webbed hands and gills.
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Figure: plurp plop blurb Eucyrum: I’m sorry, I don’t understand your beautiful language, but please accept this bottle (hands over one of the bottles of vodka) Figure: Oh, how about this. Can you understand me know? Eucyrum: Yes! Much better now. Figure: We are pilgrims. Will you join us on our pilgrimage. Only if you join us will you then be free. Eucyrum: I’m sorry, but we have to get back to our moon. My path leads me another way. Figure: In that case, we accept your offering. At any time please join us in the tentacular embrace of He that Sleeps Beneath the Monolith. The rest of the night is quiet. As the sun comes up, the group notices that Perretti has joined them. No one is quite sure where they were, but they’re here now. The group makes good time and make it to the moon. Digor: Who are we going to get to fly this thing? Perretti: Me! Digor: I’m not sure that’s a good idea… Perretti: Of course it’s a good idea. I’m good at everything! They make it to the Four Winds. The mermelants sway on their feet. Mermelant: Hey you wanna have a drink before we head on? Group: Nah, let’s head to the bridge. On the way, they notice the void creature is looking much healthier and there is evidence of some of the nuclearlithics having been consumed. Desdenova and Carrie are on the bridge when they get there. Desdanova is welding on the console and is obviously trying to repair things.
15:41
Carrie: Glad you made it back! Eucyrum: Me too. We noticed that the void creature is getting noticeably stronger Carrie: I know. Desdanova is working on getting the repellant field up and running Desdanova: We don’t need to wait for me to finish that to get going. Who’s piloting? Perretti: Me!! Digor: Can we please talk about this? Desdanova: I’m not sure it’s a great idea. The throne of needles was made for a humanoid form. I don’t know how it will react Perretti ignores the very reasonable conversation, dives into the throne in hedgehog form. The throne curves around Perretti’s small figure and stabs in on all sides. Perretti has full sensory connection with the ship. Perretti to Digor via telepathy: Hehe I did it! Perretti does a barrel roll. Everything shakes and a large chunk of moon falls off Perretti: Frater? Are you out there Frater? Frater per Derabo: Who’s this? Perretti: This is Perretti. You made my pets and we just found the next one! Where are the others? Frater per Derabo: Well, I guess you’ve been doing ok so far, so why keep anything from you at this point. Left rat is in “The Ribs” and central capybara is in the “Forest of Meat” Perretti gives relationship advice about Tollmaster Sister. This seems to just have the effect of making Frater per Derabo uncomfortable. Perretti floors it which causes lots of turmoil on the surface. Perretti can sense that the mermelants are hurt. Eucyrum runs to rescue them, but he’s set upon by leukocytes. He is able to escape but not without sustaining damage. He runs back to the bridge.
15:42
Eucyrum: We have company Perretti: It’s not my fault. Are you ok? Eucyrum: Mostly, but there’s no longer a path to the surface Perretti: There will be once I eat the void creature Perretti tries to reach out to the void creature telepathically. As with Eucyrum their head is filed with feedback and static that hurts like the bad kind of ice cream headache. They disconnect and concentrate on flying. (Though the experience may have convinced them that they may not be the most primally chaotic creature in the universe) Digor takes a crack at finding the mermelants. It takes several hours, but eventually he makes it to the crust. The passages are collapsed and there is rubble everywhere. Another several hours elapse before he can find his way to the surface. He finally finds the mermelants buried under a pile of debris. One is badly hurt, the other less so. Digor heals both and all three make their way back to the Plutonia. Perretti arrives at the Spectrum Palace. It is a large cylinder under a rainbow. Perretti to palace: I’m here and I’m hungry. Where should I park? Palace: OK. Why not eat all the meat covering your ship? In any case put down a mile away over that yonder hill Eucyrum: You know Perretti, everything the moon eats is something you can’t eat Perretti ignores the directive from the palace and sets the moon down on the outskirts of town. They pull free from the chair and are bleeding badly. They lunge at Digor trying to take a bite. They miss and Eucyrum chases them around trying to stick tiny bandaids on the bleeding needle sticks.
15:42
In order to head off Perretti taking chunks out of everyone, Rick offers a plasmic core. Perretti’s eyes light up. They take a chunk out of Eucyrum on the way, but eats the plasmic core with relish. The party now needs to get out. They leave the bridge, but the way is blocked by a closed sphincter. More leukocytes attack. The group fights them back. Luke strikes at the sphincter. It shudders. Eucyrum hits the sphincter and it shreds. The group piles through the now open passage and flee from the leukocytes. The take the elevator to where the Four Winds used to be. Digor closes his eyes and bears down as if he really has to go, but can’t. He opens his eyes hopefully, but everyone seems as hurt as they were a moment ago. All exit what used to be a moon. It’s now a meat sphere with bits of crust. Digor looks sadly at the area of town crushed by the meat sphere when it landed. It appears to be an affluent part of town. Digor is visibly saddened by this. Maybe no people died? (In retrospect, Digor should have asked Perretti how they feel about potentially having so many fewer relationships to help) Not surprisingly a crowd has started to form. Some are angry and threaten law suits and other punitive action. Perretti menaces the towns people deciding which one to eat first. Rick offers another plasmic core. Perretti eats it with a portion of Rick’s hand. It will probably grow back. The party proceeds to the steps of the dented can that serves as the palace. From this perspective the rainbow looks more like an aurora. Digor once again bears down. This time when he opens his eyes, everyone in the party looks much more well rested and healthy! 500XP
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max-power™ 02/11/2021 5:21 PM
4 February 2021: Maiwage. Maiwage is what bwings us together twooday. Party: Perretti, Collectivist Prime, Rick, Digor, Phil, Eucyrum, Erlik, Agni The party stands at the door of the Spectrum Palace. The door is darker than vanta black. It is like a black hole. Vorgo is in his Sunday best. He is in human form. The Near Moon is now more void creature than moon, so cannot do its thing on Vorgo. Vorgo looks nervous. Some asks if his love is in the palace. Vorgo: No, no. Kabeena and her father are not Satraps, but the satraps will certainly know where we should go looking for them. Perretti: I know you’re trying to impress, but do you really need all that cologne? I feel like I’m swimming in the stuff. Vorgo: Well I can’t take a shower now… (Perretti flaps their wings as fast as they can. This seems to have the desired effect of reducing the cologne smell at least a little) Perrretti: Ah, that’s better. You smell more like a wet dog now. It’s natural. Vorgo plucks up his courage and walks toward the door. He doesn’t stop to open it, but instead simply slips through to the other side and disappears. The rest of the party follow suit and find themselves standing in a beautiful lobby/reception area. There is a receptionist at one end. A stranger lounges on a bench nearby. He is reading a book. A scale hound panting at his elbow. The person is human-like with grey skin. He is wearing iron armor, but instead of being solid it is a delicate filigreed pattern. The stranger notices some in the group looking his way. He tips his hat to the crowd. The group walks to the receptionist.
17:21
Receptionist: Well, well. You have arrived. Your presence is expected in the lounge. There you will find two of our esteemed council members. Receptionist (to Vorgo): You are Vorgo? Vorgo: Why yes, I am. Receptionist: Good, good. You better read the subpoena.
You have been subpoenaed for your involvement in an incident on or about [some date in the local date-time system] which resulted in actual loss of property totaling not less than 1.3Million Cash. You have two options in responding to this subpoena: 1. You may reimburse directly the individual(s) whose property you destroyed 2. Litigate the case. If you lose the litigation, the result will be trial by combat. If you choose the second (2) option, the trial will begin immediately as the plaintiff, Guiellrmo Rombo (Kabeena’s father) has already chosen his champion.
The group brainstorms a set of possibilities for how to deal with this legal unfortunateness. 1) Pay up (Digor) 2) Lawyer up (Digor) 3) Combat (Digor) 4) Kill everyone (Perretti) It is unclear whether this means literally everyone, or just those involved in the case 5) Kidnap Kabeena and run (Phil) 6) Diplomacy e.g. go through the town councilors (Rick) 7) Use the djin (Digor) 8) Eucyrum mentions a scalar box would be extremely useful, but unfortunately he left it on his nightstand at home
17:22
The stranger approaches the group. He introduces himself as Erlik.
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17:23
Erlik: Why would you not simply leave this place and find a new location not ply your trade? Eucyrum: We are largely a group that values principles and we have given our word to our comrade, Vorgo, that we would reunite him with his one true love Digor: That and we have a plan to battle our nemesis Paul Bearer Eucyrum: It’s possible Paul is Guillermo’s champion Vorgo: We should have a drink! Rick: Sounds good. After all, you can’t take it with you! Erlik: You are so naive. Of course you can take it with you. Rick: Tell me more. Erlik: It is somewhat complicated and you need a dead priest, but you can definitely do it Eucyrum: Erlik, you’ve been here a while. Can you introduce us around? Erlik: Perhaps. The shadows move. If they are the same shadows today as they were yesterday, I can. The group enters the bar. A 2.5m tall tin can looking thing stomps toward the crowd. Satrap333: Welcome! Perretti: You buying? Satrap333: Of course! Digor has cow milk (how exotic!), Rick & Perretti have Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, Phil flirts with the “cute boy” bartender who serves Phil a daiquiri, Collectivist Prime — HP 564 Yellow Ink (only the best), Erlik declines because the shadows are too delicious, Agni has a rum, Eucyrum — three heart beats and a sigh
17:23
Satrap 226 is playing pool and doesn’t seem to be very interested in the party The group queries the bartender about The Overtaken and Paul. Bartender: Oh The Overtaken and Paul Bearer are definitely Guillermo’s champion. That is either one or both. It’s not clear, but they are involved. Neither of them seem alive in the typical sense. Erlik: Seems like I’d know them… I do have to say the fights and championships do get boring. It’s always the same thing every time. Such a strange ritual. Meanwhile, Digor has gotten Guillermo’s address from the subpoena and has struck out on his own to chat wit the man. Digor reaches the address, knocks on the door, and a footman answers. Footman: Master Digor do come in Digor: Thank you Footman: Have a seat. Mr. Rombo will be right in. Digor: You got it After a lengthy wait, Guillermo Rombo enters the room. Rombo: Mr Digor, you are the ones who crushed us, no? Digor: I must admit it was our ship, but I was very much against landing on your town Rombo: This is not cool, man!! Digor: I know but it did belong to us and we may need to pay the penalty. Who is your champion? Rombo: I will not tell you that!? Digor: Could it possibly be The Overtaken? Rombo: I cannot lie. It is The Overtaken. Digor: I thought so. We have met him before. Rombo (nervously): Oh, well maybe we could make a smaller settlement work. Where are you staying? Digor: The Spectrum Palace of course Rombo: Thank you for the information. I will get back to you when I have more information.
17:23
Back at the Spectrum Palace: Digor: I’ve got a proposal. We give them the money from our bout plus the golden idol plus the ship. That’s got to be worth something. Perretti: How about we give them not being dead??? Satrap333: I would side with the people. That would be a healthy sum, however a fight would bring us a lot. I say don’t pay. Fight, it will be great. Collectivist Prime: What if we just roll it over your whole city. Satrap333: I suppose that could increase the betting pool Perretti: Here. I have some pamphlets I think would interest you Perretti: I have been thinking about starting a cult. Maybe now would be a good opportunity Eucyrum: That does sound enticing, but how about we get Vorgo’s lady out of here before you do that? Digor: I’ve got another proposition: idol plus we kill the void creature plus we split the earnings from the fight 50% satraps, 25% city, 25% party The party shrugs. Rick challenges the bartender to a mix off of pan galactic gargle blasters. The rest of the party accompany Vorgo visit Kabeena.
17:23
They arrive at the Rombo residence. Digor knocks again and the footman answers: Footman: Digor! And I see this time you’ve brought friends. Vorgo: I am hear for the hand of my sweet, sweet Kabeena Erlik: Isn’t love a beautiful thing? The footman shows them to a different waiting area. This is not nearly as comfortable as where Digre waited before. 15 minutes later, Guillermo comes in with a woman in a long blue dress. The party can tell that she used to be pretty. She visibly brightens when she sees Vorgo. Vorgo presents the behemoth pearl. Kabeena applauds. But Guillermo simply stares back with a mixture of disbelief and irritation. Guillermo: But this is just a bauble. It's hardly worth my daughter's hand. Kabeena: Father, you've kept me cooped up too long. I'm a woman and I have needs. Vorgo can fulfill those need. Believe me, I know. Guillermo: I can't let you go for just this trinket. You are simply too valuable to me as a commodity. Perretti (under breath): I’d really like to stab that guy in the face. Erlik: A father should prioritize the well being of a child should he not? Guillermo: Of course, but Vorgo is a loser (Someone in the group): How about I add this pearl to the coffer? Eucyrum: You can get out with dignity. You have two pearls. Your daughter gets a husband. Everyone wins. Guillermo: If you insist Perretti marries Vorgo and Kabeena on the spot. It goes great. Guillermo: You’ve taken my daughter. You’ve taken my house. What are you going to take next? I do know one thing that would make me feel a little better. I’d pay to watch you fight The Overtaken Eucyrum: We wouldn’t hear of it. How many tickets do you want? Guillermo gets as many free tickets to the show as he wants. The party heads back to the Satrap Palace. Erlik talks to Satrap 160 (but I failed to capture any of the actual conversation, so if people want to fill that in, feel free). (edited)
17:24
Perretti talks to Paul alone: Paul: Hello Perretti: I got your letter Paul: Please say you’ll be my valentine Perretti: Yes, but I need you to send a message to the void creature Paul: I can try, but as you’ve seen that creature is fairly chaotic Perretti: You got a message through to me! If you can do it, I’ll stop being so mad at you. Paul: Mad? Why? Perretti: All that stuff you pulled. We thought you were for real dead! Paul: It’s just theater my dear. We have a good working relationship. We can do business and pleasure The rest of the party joins the conversation: Paul: Hello pilots of the Near Moon Digor: Look. Let’s get down to brass tacks. What are the terms? Paul: 75/25 to the winner Digor: But what about the city? Do they get nothing? Paul: Fine 30% to the city and we’ll split the remaining 70% 75/25 Digor: We’ll need some time to prep. We haven’t done this in a while The party separates from the rest of the guests and satraps. Digor: How are we going to set this up? The party confers. Ecuyrum and Digor are definitely in to battle. Perretti will hype the bout. Collectivist Prime and Rick arm wrestle to see who gets to ref. Somehow Rick wins. It’s settled. It will be a 2v1 with Eucryrum and Digor taking on The Overtaken. Erlik will observe. Collectivist Prime is willing to rap battle someone as a warm up to the main event, or to the joust, or something. The suggested split is 66/33, because Paul knows he’s going to lose the rap battle. Paul asks everyone to leave so he can talk to Digor privately. Perretti hides behind a curtain. Paul suggests Digor turn heel and intentionally fail the match, so, and offers him 66% of their profit. Digor politely declines. 500XP
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max-power™ 02/18/2021 5:06 PM
11 February 2021: You gotta lose sometime Party: Collectivist Prime, Phil, Erlik, Rick, Digor, Agni Rewind to before the agreement to fight. Eucyrum: Paul, are we playing this lethal or non-lethal? Paul: As Rick know, accidents happen (knowing look to Rick and then toward The Overtaken), but this is totally entertainment. Any mangling that happens will be completely accidental. Eucyrum: Good, I was hoping you’d say that. Eucyrum notices Paul is taller and in better shape than he was before. Rick buys a really nice referee’s outfit Rick: +1 ref’s outfit - 30 cash Morning of the third day. There is a buzz about town. The stadium outside of town has been cleaned up and is verging on attractive. The stands surround a rather standard looking jousting list. The list is surrounded by a stuck force barrier with a stuck force wall down the middle. At one end a Yellow Jelly Satrap mounts the stage at one end of the list. A human in a bubble helmet moon suit goes to the other. The stage is setup with mics and a sound system. A satrap wearing a blue and yellow lycra jumpsuit and a red fishbowl helmet grabs one of the microphones. “Welcome one, welcome all. We are here today for a day of entertainment. This is not trial by combat. The famous litigation between the house crushers and the house crushees has been settled in a manner satisfactory to both parties. First up, for your enjoyment is a battle of words in a rhyming style. It’s Paul Bearer versus the Brutal Bolshevik, the Rampaging Red Robot, it’s Collectivist Prime!” <See collated rhymes in the general channel>
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Paul loses. Paul and The Overtaken can be seen clearly arguing with each other. This is the first time Erlik has seen The Overtaken. Erlik thinks he is dead, but clearly has a personality and sentient mobility. Satrap: Congratulations “Crazy Vagabonds” or “Rhyming Digor’s Petting Zoo” or whatever you wanted go by. Now it’s time for the jout! Don’t know what a jout is? It’s the combination of a joust and a bout, of course! The bad guys: Harold Hardrider a viper horse is being ridden by Satrap11 who looks like a clownfish erector set with a cape Paul is ridding The Overtaken The good guys: Digor riding an office chase using the folding chair as a shield and boxing glove on axe as lance Eucyrum riding Vardenifil (right rat) proper jousting shield with the lance head on the pole arm Perretti riding Eucyrum hamburger skewer for lance button for shield Eauque riding Seldenifil Eucyrum: + shield - 8 cash (Couldn’t keep up with the joust but…) Paul is unhorsed by Eauque Digor is unhorsed by Satrap11 Eucyrum is unhorsed by Satrap11 Everyone but Eauque dismounts and melee begins Phil notices a small brass object near Paul that may have been dropped by him. Is it an astrolabe? Digor manages to land on The Overtaken who just looks at him with a deadpan face. Perretti, still riding on Eucyrum fires lightning at The Overtaken, but misses and nearly hits Guillermo in the stands In a fairly humorous little back and fourth, Eucyrum is able to pin Paul to the stuck force by jabbing through his jacket Satrap11 is out The Overtaken knocks out Digor Paul escapes Eucyrum’s choke hold
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Perretti: Hi Paul. I’m killing you!! Perretti tries to body slam Paul with fake quill damage but misses. The Overtaken takes out Eucyrum With Digor and Eucyrum out and Paul and The Overtaken still looking very strong, Rick steps in to stop the fight. He grabs the left hand of Paul and the right hoof (paw?) of The Overtaken and raises them in the air indicating their victory. The crowd boos loudly. Erlik claps politely. Rick: +100 Cash Digor: +100 Cash Collectivist Prime: +100 Cash Eucyrum: +100 Cash
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The party shake begin picking themselves off the ground. Paul and The Overtaken come over. Paul and The Overtaken: Good fight you all! Digor: Wow, The Overtaken, you are tough. It’s not often I hit something full on and they stay standing. The Overtaken: Yeah I am! Paul: You all going west? Group: Yes! Eucyrum: Should be grab a drink? I’m parched. Paul: You buying? Eucyrum: Sure. Meet you at the hotel bar Paul: Hey Collectivist Prime, nice rap battle! Everyone is staying at the Spectrum Palace. It turns out the Palace is actually shaped more like a dip tin. (I personally had been envisioning more of a soda can on its side) The party goes to dinner before meeting Paul at the bar. Rick orders the best meal in town, triceratops tail stew with ramps and a glass of wine. Rick: -60 Cash Digor has the best mushroom sandwich in town Digor: -25 Cash Eucyrum: Do you have anything with a thagonizer? (This is the name of the bony tail part some dinosaurs have. Credit G. Larson) Server: We have some ankylosaurus Eucyrum: I don’t want a meal, but I am curious where you source such things Server: There’s no shortage. Within a 3-4 day journey you can find thousands of triceratops and other Dinos. Eucyrum: Interesting. Do you have any on hand? Server: I think we can part with 5 fresh ones for 5 cash each. Eucyrum: I’ll take them Eucyrum: 3 triceratops spikes and 2 ankylosaurus clubs -25 Cash He gives one to Perretti. It seems to keep them quite busy for a while. The others can possibly be made to fit the pole arm or made into a dish. Phil suggests possibly chitin. Rick wonders aloud about whether they could be made into glue. Phil can tell they might be best as weapons. Eucyrum gives one thagomizer to Burt. It takes 9 minutes to eat and then spits out the spikes.
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Eucyrum: maybe the spikes could be used as weapons? Maybe they are too hard Paul and The Overtaken are at the bar when they all arrive. Paul: What do you suggest? Rick: Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster of course Rick and the bartender have a mix off for 50 Cash. The Overtaken and Paul judge Rick to be the winner. Rick: +50 Cash Digor has milk. Eucyrum has the special of the day. Phil orders a pink lady and a sidecar. Phil gives the sidecar to the “cute boy” but doesn’t seem to make much headway. Erlik declines having anything to drink. Paul: Good work out there. Nice pole arm work, Eucyrum. Digor: How close were we? The Overtaken: Let’s just say it was a good fight and leave it at that. Eucyrum: Where you off to next? Paul: Not sure. In a few weeks we need to be ad the Dead Bridge. With good traffic we can be there in 4-6 weeks. You seem to have a faster way to move, don’t you? Eucyrum: I’m afraid we may have used it up. Paul: Sure looked alive to me Eucyrum: Well maybe we can work together to get it going again Paul: Say more Eucyrum: There is actually a ship in the center of that void creature. Before when the creature was weak, we could get inside to the ship and pilot essentially as if the ship were not inside a void creature. Now that it is healing (perhaps because we turned off the stuck force generator that was impaling it), it is stronger but still in pain and no longer as keen to let people just waltz past its innards.
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Paul and The Overtaken look interested Paul: Have you thought about selling it at all? Eucyrum: I’m afraid we are really not in a place to sell it right now. Paul: How about we help you get inside and in return we get transport to the Dead Bridge. We could even stage a battle, if you like. Then we can head on to the Pre-City. Are you sure you have a plan to get across the toxic waste and ghosts from the Pre-City to the Black City proper? Rick: There are ghosts and toxic waste? Paul: Oh yeah. It’s bad! Rick: We’ll have to think about it. Paul, have you ever piloted a space craft? Paul: Not really. Paul: So is it a deal? Our help getting to the bridge in exchange for passage to the Dead Bridge? Paul and Eucyrum shake on it. Digor: Paul, we need to stop by The Ribs at some point? You up for that? Paul: As long as I’m getting room and board, I’m happy to tag along just about anywhere. So the plan is: Fight to the bridge —> The Ribs --> Dead Bridge —> Forest of Meat —> Pre-City —> Black City +400 XP
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max-power™ 03/04/2021 4:27 PM
25 February 2021 — One problem solved, one new problem Party — Rick, Digor, Perretti, Phil, Collectivist Prime, Erlik, Eucyrum Perretti: First and foremost, I want to kill Guillermo, Kabeena’s dad really bad Erlik: I do not think that would be a good thing to do Perretti: Hmm. Nope, I still want to kill him Digor: I’m not a fan of this plan either The party has a couple of days to prep to return to the Near Moon. They want to buy a stuck force generator to take with them. Perretti disappears into the city to do something to help earn money for the generator. They return with a quart of blood and 80 Cash. Perretti is extremely proud to be contributing. Perretti: +quart of blood, +80 Cash Digor purchases a stuck force battle axe. He chooses the blue version. Digor: -150 Cash The party is able to purchase the stuck force generator with the gold idol, 500 Cash from Rick and 80 Cash from Perretti. The generator is 80lbs and is the size of a medium air compressor. Along with the generator, the party purchases a thing that can kind of bend the stuck force. Party: -gold idol Rick: -500 Cash Perretti: -80 Cash Party: +stuck force generator, +stuck force generator choke (I think this means choke in the sense of a choke in an extrusion die, not a shotgun choke) Off to the moon… Perretti: Oh, hang on! I forgot to turn off the oven. BRB Perretti buzzes off. before the mission, Paul had attempted to communicate with the void creature, unsuccessfully.
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Meanwhile… Perretti goes back to Guillermo’s house. They stab Guillermo all over with the needle so that it looks like a terrible sewing accident and no one will be the wiser. Perretti leans over the dying body of Guillermo as his bodily fluids leak out onto the floor around him. “You should have been a better dad…” Perretti takes some small trinkets from his house and hurries back to the rest of the party. As the party approaches what was once the moon, gravity gets weird. They find that by sort of hopping in the air and tilting backward they can sort of flip onto the surface. One by one they jump up onto the void creature. As each on lands, tentacles and eye stalks pop up in surprise and slowly disappear again
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They party is able to navigate the surface to where the Four Winds used to be. The building is no more, but the elevator shaft seems to be relatively intact. Eucyrum leads the way by repelling down a rope. The elevator is stuck part way down. Eucyrum enters the elevator car via the hatch in the top. It’s cramped, but Digor is able to get enough swing to chop out the bottom of the car with his stuck force axe. They leave the rope to the surface attached for the time being. They are able to repel the remainder of the way to the floor of the elevator shaft. As the party advances down the corridor, they encounter a blockage of knotted scar tissue. Digor and The Overtaken make quick work of the barrier. Eventually, they see an end to the corridor. There appears to be an open hatch in the floor with a ladder leading down into the Plutonia. As they advance toward the hatch, Collectivist Prime senses they are being watched. Erlik can see eyes on stalks poking through cracks in the corridor walls. As they party moves forward, the wall erupts into the corridor and a raft of tentacles attack the group. After a brief skirmish the party are able to subdue the tentacles enough to escape down the hatch. Digor takes one final swipe and makes contact. The party can hear screams from somewhere far away. (Is that the sound of nuclarlithics being tortured by the void creature I hear?) They enter the ship.
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Eucyrum: Hello???? No reply. They continue on deeper into the ship toward the bridge. Agni tries again. Agni: Anyone here? Suzie: We’re on the bridge The door to the bridge opens and Desdanova’s dog advances on Paul with hackles raised. The dog growls low. Paul: Are you serious with this dog? Desdanova: Oh, he’s definitely serious. Eucyrum: Is there a problem here? Desdanova: Oh my. If it isn’t Barron Friday and Mermalant Saturday Paul: Been a long time Papa Legba Digor: Sit Ubu, sit! (Dog sits down) Paul: Oh and I see Mistress Carrie 4 is here as well Agni, interesting traveling partners you have Erlik: Paul do you know these people? Paul: Oh yes. For a long, long time. Hatians gonna hate Desdanova: IKR The niceties are interrupted by a group of Nuclearlithics charging in Nuclearlithic chief: “Take us up now!” Eucyrum, somewhat uncharacteristically, waits for no one and attacks with the flying guillotine. Nuclearlithic chief: “Wait, wait. We are negotiating.” Mele The Overtaken kills one of the nuclearlithics. Collectivist Prime casts cone of cold and brings down the chief and three others. Erlik: Why are we killing these people? They are trying to negotiate. Eucyrum: They came waving spears. What are we supposed to do? In the lull, the void creature attacks with another tentacular mass. The Overtaken kills two more nuclearlithics. Digor: Nuclearlithics, it’s a losing battle. You must run!
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Eucyrum: The mirror found In the chamber of jade grown like a seed Deep within the ground The mirror found By one man So on The rods of broken crystal On! In a blinding flash of green and silver the tentacular mass of the void creature is destroyed (I actually don’t remember how it happened in game, but this seems about right). The remaining nuclearlithics did not run, but have put down their spears and insistently asking “to be taken up” Digor: Fine, fine. I’ll escort you to the surface. Chief: No, no, no. Up! Up! Rick: Hey I’ve got a great idea. Paul, why don’t you try piloting the ship? Paul: OK Paul hops in the needle throne and the ship immediately responds by shooting straight up into the air, directly away from the surface. (edited)
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Perretti: Who said he could pilot my ship???? Digor: (pointing at Rick) Rick did it Rick: (palms out) Hey it was just a suggestion. There’s a thump and a grinding noise and air starts to leak out of the ship. The air is getting noticeably thinner. Desdanova: Well there’s one problem gone… Chief: Is it gone? Eucyrum rips Paul from the throne and tries to get on the throne himself. Perretti won’t be denied twice and beats Eucyrum to the throne. The void creature is now gone from the outside of the ship, but of course since the stuck force generator for the ship is no more, and the ship itself has undergone some fairly violent “landing” events, there are large gaps in the hull. It’s not exactly a convertible, but it’s not far off. Perretti (to ship): Come on Plutonia tighten up those gaps. Plutonia: No can do Perretti: Plutonia, we’re gonna have to set you down on terra firms Plutonia: Crash!!!!!
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Paul: So Desdenova, we’re one big happy family now, right? Desdanova: We are a family. Digor glances at The Overtaken who just shrugs. Collectivist Prim: Desdanova, have you every met a mermelant ultra? Desdanova: The Overtaken could be one Paul: Where are we?? Digor: Doesn’t seem like we can be far from the Spectrum Palace since we basically went straight up and came straight back down Paul: Hey Desdanova, Papa Legba, what are you doing here? Desdanova: You don’t know how bored I have been for so long. These folks came along and I said to my self, finally something not boring, and so I came along. Paul: I know it’s been a long time. How about a truce? Perretti: (kisses Paul) Eucyrum: I would welcome a truce. Agni: Desdanova, people as old as us shouldn’t hold grudges. Desdanova: OK. Fine. There is a general sigh of relief. The party notices that Paul does not refer to Carrie and Suzie by the names they introduced themselves as to the party, but as Maitresse Carrefour and Erzulie instead. Erlik: If there is another chance to pilot, I would very much like to volunteer for that role. 500XP (edited)
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Adam Thornton 03/04/2021 4:50 PM
It’s not exactly a convertible, but it’s not far off. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aloha_Airlines_Flight_243
Aloha Airlines Flight 243
Aloha Airlines Flight 243 (IATA: AQ243, ICAO: AAH243) was a scheduled Aloha Airlines flight between Hilo and Honolulu in Hawaii. On April 28, 1988, a Boeing 737-297 serving the flight suffered extensive damage after an explosive decompression in flight, but was able to land safely at Kahului Airport on Maui. There was one fatality, flight attend...
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max-power™ 03/11/2021 3:45 PM
4 March 2021: Talk about stick to your ribs! Pary: Rick, Digor, Phil, Collectivist Prime, Perretti, Erlik, Agni The bridge of the Plutonia is in chaos. Lights on the control panel are flashing an alarming shade of red. Never the less, Perretti is going to take the helm. Before doing this, however, Perretti thinks it would be a great idea to include the remaining three nuclearlithics in the wrestling crew (the chief and two others are all who survive). Paul and Perretti vie for the nuclearlithics’ loyalty. Perretti wins out. Perretti: I like having minions! Party: Uh oh! Perretti takes the ship up very, very slowly. Digor: Hey nuclearlithics, what did Perretti tell you? Nuclearlithic Chief: They promised to clothe us and that we wouldn’t die. We will fight for Perretti Eucyrum (telepathically): Perretti, it was genius to tell them they won’t die!! Perretti: I know, right!? How will they know? Perretti: My lovely ship, can you fix yourself? Plutonia: With sufficient resources, stuck force, and time, I can repair myself sufficiently. If presented with all the material necessary for my repairs, I can be complete in 35 days. If I am forced to mine the necessary minerals myself, the repair will take approximately 4 million years. Perretti: What material do you need? Plutonia: I will need 765kg of aluminum, 100kg of titanium 18g of Polonium-210 and 0.6g of Plutonium-239 Eucyrum furrows his brow, waggles, his finger and somehow fixes the ship stuck force generator with magic.
15:45
Eucyrum: Heavy metal, black and silver Fallen matter of the sun Pours itself into a place Where there was never, never one By starlight, the heaviest will rise up Magnetic mirror! Eucyrum moves a “safe distance” away. A black and silver ball thumps to the ground. It’s grapefruit sized, but appears much, much heavier than an actual grapefruit. Collectivist Prime’s Geiger counter screeches. It doesn’t appear Eucyrum’s safe distance is, in reality, very safe. The ship begins pulling the material in. Perretti: Ship, is this good? Plutonia: Delicious! Digor: How long will it take to mine the remaining stuff you need? Plutonia: I estimate 194 days to get the remaining materials for my repair Perretti: So like 5 years… Eucyrum feels pretty sick. A few tufts of hair drop out and float to the floor. He feels very sunburned. Eucyrum: Wow. I feel cooked. Perretti: Do you think you are more delicious now than you were? Eucyrum: I am always delicious To the ribs!!!!
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As they fly to the ribs, they pass over the cage run. There are many cages with skeletons in them. This was obviously used as a place to make examples of ne’er-do-wells to others who would behave poorly. Perretti sets the ship down in the cage run. Perretti: Hey nuclearlithics. Go get me the bones out of those cages before the ship eats them! Nuclearlithics: Right away boss The ship likes the metal. Plutonia: That was great. Now all I need is 95kg of titanium Erlik holds rites for the people in the cages. They travel on. Perretti is following a path used by travelers going west. After a while they see a pedestal holding a sculpture of a white rose about a mile off the path. The sculpture is surrounded by a prismatic aura. Erlik would like to take a look. Perretti has been on the throne for 4 days at this point, but seems to be doing fine and agrees to stop. As Erlik approaches, he can see the swirling lights are actually ghosts. There are 5 ghosts in total protecting the rose. Erlik: Greetings children of echo. What holds you here? Ghosts: We are here so that none will harm the bone rose. We are the protectors of the memory bone. Erlik: I understand, but if given the opportunity, would you welcome the prospect of being freed? 3 ghosts immediately request to be freed, one is a maybe, and one thinks it’s crazy to think of being sent on. Erlik attempts to pass the 3 ghosts on. Agni: Erlik, how do you know so much? Erlik: I am dead. I’m one with the dead. Agni: Won’t there be consequences for sending these ghosts on to the other side? Erlik: Who am I to second guess the wishes of another? Agni: Good point. I’ll stay out of it. Ghosts: Thank you kind soul. The ghosts vanish.
15:46
Erlik wishes to inspect the flower. The remaining ghosts grant him permission. The flower is covered in relief lettering. Erlik can understand the strange script. It is an illustrated cycle of poems about the usual things: passing of seasons, the father’s inability to understand the lives of their children etc. Erlik reads the cycle aloud in his native tongue and Collectivist Prime records the result “The Cantor of the Twisted Tree”. Collectivist Prime produces a translation which is mostly accurate. In the original, the poem refers to a posey, not a rose, but what is a rose by any other name anyway? Erlik thanks the spirits and thanks them. Perretti really, really wants to eat the bone flower, but somehow is convinced to move on. It probably helped that they had just gorged on the bones from the cages. The ship approaches the ribs. Each rib is ~1km tall. The 9 ribs are arranged in a line about 9km long. Perretti: Hey Frater, you out there? We’re at the ribs. Frater Per Derabo: You’re looking for Left Rat I presume… Look on top of the third rib from the south. Perretti: Cool cool Frater Per Derabo: I hope the locals (marmot folk) didn’t take it. They scout the indicated rib from the air and seeing no sign of trouble, Eucyrum repels to the top.
15:46
Rick: Vardenafil, do you have the ability to find others like you who are in close proximity? Vardenafil: You mean like are we micro-chipped? I get a sense of other beings like myself if they are within 20 meters of me and there doesn’t appear to be anyone that close other than the ones you know about. Digor: I’d like to make sure. Will you power down, Vardenafil? Vardebafuk powers down and the others confirm they can no longer see him. Vardenafil powers back up. Erlik and Digor go down with Eucyrum. There is a stone hut on top of the third rib. There is nothing inside. There is no sign of left rat. Perretti takes to the ribs. No answer. Erlik talks to the ribs. No answer. Rick repels down, moves the bed and begins mining into the bone. Digor cuts off a piece of the bone and gives it to Perretti. This bone is so old and powdery as to be unpalatable to even Perretti. Rick finds a heavy (75 lb) trap door. Behind the door is a chamber approximately 30’x20’x10’. The area is furnished with rows of metal tables. This is clearly a lab where Frater Per Derabo did his work, but it’s been cleaned out. Eucyrum does a ritual for the lost rodents. He feels a little better. Eucyrum and Erlik walk down the rib on a well used trail to the base. Everyone else takes the ship to visit the marmot folk. Perretti sends out a telepathic blast to the marmot folk. Perretti: We are cool Marmot folk: Fine…
15:46
The party finds out from a green furred marmot that the mech is in the giant skull in the capitol town (Skull Town of course). The marmot folk are willing to trade. They will even waive the docking fee in exchange for some entertainment. Digor and Paul meet to discuss the prospect of some entertainment. Options are: * a round of 4v4, leading to a main event of either the locals or Digor, the nuclearlithic chief, and 2 other party members vs Paul and the overtaken. * 3 nuclearlithics and Eucyrum vs 4 local heroes or 2 nuclearlithics, Eucyrum and Collectivist Prime vs four local heroes +500XP
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richardgrenville 03/11/2021 4:59 PM
reading this over, I notice that Eusyram is not taking his radiation sickness all that seriously. He should probably let the others take the lead in wrestling.
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max-power™ 03/18/2021 5:22 PM
11 March 2021: Snakes on the UVG plains Party: Erlik, Collectivist Prime, Digor, Rick, Phil, Agni, Eucyrum It’s the morning of the fights Eucyrum is not feeling well. Some more fur and teeth have fallen out over night. The bald patches of skin are an angry red color. Erlik has a set of blight geods that, in some circumstances, can assist in healing. Digor feels that he knows about such things and can probably use the goods. He puts them on Eucyrum’s chest like shock paddles. “Clear!!” Nothing happens. Erlik is not impressed and shakes his head. He repositions the geods on Eucyrum’s body there is a quiet sucking sound and the geodes become noticeably bigger. Eucyrum looks much better and seems more stable on his feet. Erlik puts the geodes away. Erlik: I’m glad that worked. The laws in the land of the living are much different than in the land of the dead. Digor donates a mushroom sandwich to Eucyrum and Rick makes him a Bloody Mary with a cheeseburger as a garnish. Eucyrum is famished. The party learns much more about Erlik’s past. It turns out Erlik is periodically vanquished from the land of the living and has to return, but each vanquishing leaves him with no memories. In addition, anyone who has interacted with him in the living realm will also have forgotten Erlik. He keeps diaries, but they are not complete. He was vanquished recently and only made it back to the land of the living a few days before meeting the party at the Spectrum Palace. In explaining this he says: “I am a dead thing created by a dead thing in the image of the dead” Time for some entertainment!! Eucyrum is feeling well enough to participate. Eucyrum, Collectivist Prime, and the two non-chief Nuclearlithics battle 4 local heroes. It does not go well for the locals. It doesn’t take long for Eucyrum’s crew to wreck them. The crowd is visibly unhappy. (edited)
17:23
Joust!!! Eucyrum riding John the mermelant vs a marmot folk riding a python. Early on both competitors break their lances. Eucyrum is able to replace his lance attachment with the garden weasel attachment, and knock the marmot folk off their python. Eucyrum quickly jumps on the python for a victory lap. The python tries to strange Eucyrum, but he escapes. Eucyrum nonchalantly turns his back on the snake which takes the opportunity to strike at him. But Eucyrum is ready for this and is able to remount. Meanwhile… John offers a paw up to the injured marmot folk. Eucyrum has other ideas and turns the python on its owner. Despite the attempted snake-icular homicide, the marmot escapes. The snake throws Eucyrum allowing the marmot folk to remount. Eucyrum scampers away before any more damage can be done. Now for the main event Digor, Eucyrum , Collectivist Prime, and the Nuclearlithic Chief vs. Paul Bearer, The Overtaken, and the marmot (Rob Pike) riding the python (Guido van Rossum) It’s a good bout. The party ends up winning. A couple highlights: * The Overtaken takes out Digor and the anemone waves a white flag from within his eye socket * Eucyrum is nearly swallowed by Guido, but manages to escape by sticking his trident crosswise in his mouth. Health for every one compliments of Digor.
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All gain 180 Cash except Erlik and Phil who both refuse Eucyrum, Collectivist Prime, Digor, Rick and Agni: 180 Cash each Eucyrum pays John for his service as a mount. Eucyrum: -90 Cash Eucyrum purchases a set of wool+brass wire faraday cage clothing: pants and a poncho. Eucyrum: -40 Cash Various rations are bought Collectivist Prime buys 50kg of titanium to repair the ship for 900 cash. This is not enough. The ship needs 95kg of titanium to repair fully. Collectivist Prime: -900 cash Collectivist Prime: Can't we get more titanium? Townsperson: We can get you 20kg more in three weeks Collectivist Prime: Not good enough. Isn't there a way we could get more faster? The townspeople's eyes drift toward the statue on a pedestal in the center of town. No words are exchanged, but it's clear the statue contains at least some titanium. It turns out that somehow through that whole exchange Eucyrum is now a life eater. Could the blight geode be causing blood lust?? The ship takes off for the skull city. In the process then nab a titanium plated statue from the town square on the way out of town. They fly one and eventually the Skull City comes into view. +400XP each (edited)
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Kyana 03/18/2021 6:09 PM
@max-power™ I'd like to mention a small correction to 'Erlik forgets' situation: it isn't only him who forgets everybody every time he is vanquished, but everybody forgets him as well
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max-power™ 03/18/2021 6:13 PM
Thanks for the correction
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max-power™ 03/25/2021 4:22 PM
18 March 2021 — So you want to do a kidnapping? Party: Phil, Erlik, Rick, Perretti, Digor, Eusyram The party is aboard the ship and flying toward Skull City. They fly past the ribs, one by one. The vertebrae of a huge spine spear from the ground. At the end of the spine is an enormous crocodilian skull. The ship approaches from the rear of the skull. As they round the mammoth cranium they can see that the upper jaw of the skull is propped open by rows of stuck force pillars along each side. On both sides, tall spire juts out of the eye sockets. The skull is 1500 meters long and 300-400 meters wide. It is big enough to house a bustling city. There are shops, houses, museums, inns, and all the other things one would expect in a city. Buildings spill out of the front of the skull and form the suburbs of the city. The urban area even includes amenities not seen in other cities this far west like a publicly maintained park land on the top of the skull where the snout would have been. An aside on Plutonia. This ship is roughly circular in cross section about 35 meters in diameter and 70 meters in length. The party decides to park Plutonia in a hovering state above the left eye socket. Phil makes the worlds longest and best rope ladder. There is fancy knotting, and tassels. It’s also tied in a way that your foot doesn’t start hurting because the rope rungs sag. Also, it doesn’t spin. Perretti: Oh ship my ship, how do I communicate with you when I’m not physically attached to your beautiful throne? Plutonia: I thought you’d never ask! Perretti feels a stabbing in their skull. After some painful static, Perretti feels connected to the ship. Perretti: I’m guessing this is permanent, right? Plutonia: Yes, it is. Perretti: I didn’t know I was ready for this level of commitment.
16:22
Perretti rips off the thrown. Perretti: Welp I guess that’s the end of single life. In getting off the throne, Perretti does long term damage. They are bleeding all over the place. Rick tries to stick on the little bandaids will also avoiding Perretti’s spines. Perretti (running around the cockpit): Oh no! Oh no! Erlik performs leach in reverse which seems to help somewhat as Perretti stops bleeding. Phil steps in and performs a masterful which doctor spell. Perretti looks much, much healthier, but has now sprouted 8 octopus tentacles. The suckers are red lipstick lips. Perretti: Wow. I didn’t feel well for a second there. Now I feel great! Aaaand I have thee nice new grabby things. (edited)
16:22
(The following conversation is mediated by Perretti communicating between Plutonia and the ret of the party) Eusyram: Will you ask Plutonia how far away you can get before losing connection. Plutonia: My communications technology allows the pilot to be up to 3 kilometers away. Erlik: Do walls get in the way? Plutonia: Yes, depending on material. I would probably not be able to communicate with the pilot if they were in a lead box a few hundred yards away. Perretti: Can you move even if I’m not in the throne? Plutonia: Yes, but I need specific instructions and I have a limiter at 100km to keep people from absconding with me completely. Eusyram: Plutonia, and you tell where the stuck force generators are located? Plutonia: Scanning…Yes. There are six teeth on each side with a vertical stuck force projector. Erlik: Can someone sit in the throne while Perretti is away? Plutonia: Yes. Physical access overrides any remote commands.
16:24
The party leaves via the masterful rope ladder. The nuclearlithics, Desdanova and the rest of his crew stay behind to mind the ship. They drop into the city through the left eye socket. The city streets are about 200 meters below them as they leave. It is now completely dark outside. As they descend, about 200 feet down, they see a balcony on the fancy spire. The glass door is dark. Phil vaults onto the balcony. The glass door slides easily aside. At this point, for some reason, the party collectively simultaneously realize that Eusyram’s name is Mary Sue backward. Eusyram follows Phil onto the balcony. He smells female marmot, Chanel #5 and Pine Sol™. They can see that inside is a sleeping chamber with a huge round bed. There are mirrors on the ceiling. As they go further into the room and their eyes adjust to the dark interior, they can make out a quietly snoring figure in the bed. Phil pulls out his net. Eusyram puts on the man catcher head. Phil and Eusyram go back to the balcony where they motion Rick to come with them. Rick jumps onto the balcony and all three go into the room. As soon as Rick sees the body and sees Phil’s net and sees Eusyram’s man catcher, he backs out of the room. He beckons to the other two to come with him and not commit some sort of silly kidnapping. They don’t come with him. Eusyram and Phil sneak up to the sleeping form. Eusyram grabs the poor marmot’s snout. Phil drops the net. The marmot bolts a wake and begins struggling with all of her might. Phil tries to get ropes around here, but she is too strong. Eusyram holds onto her.
16:24
Eusyram: You’re in terrible danger. Hush! Marmot: Is this some sick game being played by Luthor? Eusyram: No, no. We followed assassins for Luthor into your room. (Marmot get’s quiet) Is Luthor here? Marmot: No. He only comes on Thursday. Why would I care what happens to Luthor? Eusyram: Did you see the others when they came in? Marmot: I have seen no one but you since I went to bed. Eusyram: Do you want a safe place to go? We don’t know whether you are in danger still, or whether they have cleared out. Marmot: Will it be as nice as here? Eusyram: Not really, I have to be honest. Eusyram: Do you know if the rat is safe? Marmot: I have no idea what you are talking about. You are going to chase these interlopers you mention, aren’t you? Eusyram: Why not? Are there other rooms? Marmot: Well this is a standard suite. There’s the sitting room, bathroom, kitchenette, etc. Now that there is not kidnapping in the offing, Rick and Digore join Eusyram and Phil to “chase” the assassins. Perretti sneakily hides in the room despite their very visible tentacles with bright red lips. Erlik stays behind on the ship. The four go down the elevator.
16:25
When they are gone, Perretti comes out of hiding. Perretti: Who were those idiots? Marmot: Who are you? Perretti: No idea. I blew in on some weird wind. I’m looking for booze. (Perretti lights the Marmot’s cigarette) Marmot: You don’t need to go far. Luthor only drinks the best. Perretti: Sweet! Luthor doesn’t deserve you. By the way, I’m Perretti Marmot: Maybe not, but it’s nice here. I’m Mary Jane. (Perretti gets a drink and sits on the bed) Mary Jane: What’s this all about, do you think? Perretti: I’m not sure. I don’t think they would have hurt you, but what a bunch of effing muppets Meanwhile… The elevator descends with Eusyram, Phil, Rick and Digor. Eusyram climbs on top of the elevator car through the hatch in the ceiling. Digor follows. There are many other elevator shafts in the same corridor. There are lots and lots of doors. As they descend, the number of elevator shafts increases. Meanwhile… Erlik sits contentedly on Plutonia observing the world around him and writing in his journal Meanwhile meanwhile… The elevator doors slide open and rick steps out. He asks the concierge about the sixth wonder of the ancient world “Metal Rat”. The concierge directs him to the Metropolitan Museum of the Long, Long Ago or MMoLLA for short. He gives rick a map. Draws an X where they are at the moment and circles the MMLLA on the map. Rick thanks him and gives him a healthy tip. “Why thank you sir!” Rick: -50 Cash Rick waits at the bar.
16:25
Digor: Let’s meet Rick, then go back to set the marmot at ease. Phil: Don’t worry, she won’t remember us… Meanwhile… Perretti: Do you have any gems you don’t want? Mary Jane: Sure, I have much more than I could possible use. Perretti: That’s great. I just got in this kind of serious relationship and Plutonia really wants a ring or something. You know what I’m talking about, right? Mary Jane: No, not really… Perretti: Well I thought I was a lone wolf, but now I’m not. Mary Jane: How about this platinum and sapphire ring? Perretti: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Mary Jane: How about you leave me your contact information so I can get in touch later. Mary Jane takes a crystal out. Perretti vibrates their tentacles in tune with the crystal. Mary Jane: Got it. Thanks! Eusyram, Perretti, Rick, Digor and Phil all go to the MMoLLA. Erlik gets a map from the concierge and meets them there. As they walk along they have a chance to take the city in. It is noisy and crowded even though it is getting late. Most of the inhabitants are marmot (Rick estimates 78%). The rest are a vast mix. They also see all kinds of vehicles/transportation: scooters, cars, carts, skateboards, etc. Erlik looks nostalgic as he observes the bustling city. The city is very cosmopolitan. They even see a cat lord being carried through the crowd. It’s 3 cash to get into the museum. Party: -3 cash
16:25
They easily find the Left Rat exhibit. Left Rat is contained in encased in a thick glass box standing on a pedestal. The plaque reads: “Mechanical Rodent 19th era of the long, long ago: steel and crystal” “Ritual object of the long, long ago” Digor: That’s not right! We know it’s only 400 years old. The party brain storm ideas for how to get Left Rat out. Options: * steal it outright * embarrass the curators by pointing out that the history on the plaque is wrong * buy it In the end the party comes up with a plan: Step 1: Remove a soul gem from one of the other mechs (probably sildenafil) Step 2: Take the remaining mechs to the museum Step 3: React with outrage that they are displaying one of the mechs’ relatives: e.g. sibling, grand parent, god mother, niece Step 4: Claim to need funeral rites with Erlik presiding Step 5: Insist that Erlik be in physical proximity to Left Rat Step 6: Slip the extra soul gem into Left Rat Step 7: Escape Step 8: Profit! +400 XP
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Heard a Who 03/25/2021 6:10 PM
which doctor, not witch doctor
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max-power™ 03/25/2021 6:15 PM
Ah
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Heard a Who 03/25/2021 7:01 PM
I would say it's a who doctor pun, but the which-witch distinction does actually matter (that's an obscure pun)
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max-power™ 04/01/2021 4:11 PM
25 March 2021 — What sword? Party: Collectivist Prime, Erlik, Rick, Digor, Phil, Eusyram, Perretti As it stands, Sildenafil is in Left Bunny, Vardenafil is in Right Rat, and Quilquenacil is in Right Rabbit. A reordering is in order. Sildenafil out of Left Bunny and into Right Rat. Vardenafil out of Right Rat and into Erlik’s pocket Quilquenacil stays in Right Rabbit The Plan Left Bunny stays on the ship since it has no soul stone. Right Rat and Right Rabbit will accompany the party to the Metropolitan Museum of the Long Long Ago (MMoLLA). It turns out the museum has just opened the Tolkien wing (the game was held on Tolkien Reading Day 25 March). The intent is to claim that the mech in the museum is actually Right Rat’s niece’s son named Vardenafil. The request will be that the museum at least allow Erlik to provide rites for Vardenafil. Erlik: The living world may not react predictably to the rites if real names are used in what is, in reality, a ruse. Vardenafil and Sildenafil will go by Right Rat and Left Rat respectively. Side note, mechs can power off the soul gems intentionally to save power if they need time to get back to the ship to recharge The next morning, the group goes down the ladder to street level. They go to the museum to case the place. Erlik excuses himself to wander the streets. Perretti is afraid they are too memorable so is keeping an eye out for a disguise. Perretti is demonstrating some of their abilities and shows off how they can phase short distances through barriers Rick: Perretti, can you phase through the glass of the case holding the mech? Perretti: Absolutely! Digor: With the soul gem?? Perretti: Of course!
16:12
The group enters the MMoLLA. Collectivist Prime is disguised by turning into a boom box playing “Smooth Criminal.” Digor carries Collectivist Prime. Perretti conceals themself in Eusyrum’s collar. Very stealthily the group examine any placards for possible exits and any bathrooms. The exits are: * Lower level —> to subway * First level —> main doors to street * 2nd, 3rd and 4th levels all have exits to fire escapes on each side of the building. There is a large office area on each of the 2nd and 3rd floors. These seem likely to be where most of the guards/security personnel are likely to be. There is a smaller office area on the 4th floor. Left Rat is on the 3rd floor on the NW side. In their creeping around, the group finds out that there will be a big deal donor dinner on Thursday at 7PM which is in three days. It will take place in the Donor’s Palace on the 3rd floor. Phil buys a waiter outfit and staff-ish clothes. Phil: -10 Cash and -15 Cash Eusyram fashions himself a rope tunic to wear to the even. Let’s put the plan into action Phil sneaks into the donor dinner by acting as a waiter. He begins talking up the fact that Right Rat is claiming Left Rat is his relative and should be released, or at least allowed to have proper rites performed. A posh marmot folk looks out the dining room door.
16:12
Right Rat: You have Right Rat, my niece’s son. I have never been so insulted in my life! You should be ashamed! The marmot follows Right Rat to the exhibit. Right Rat: This is my family~ Marmot: Oh, I see Right Rat: You are appropriating my family for your visitors to gawk at for your profit, or something. Perretti: That’s just what I expect from these types Marmot: Oh dear. Let me talk to the director about this! Phil quick changes into the museum employee-is outfit. Sildenafil is making a scene. Eusyram talks up the issue with the dinner goers. Eusyram: Has Luthor seen this atrocity? Luthor stands out in the crowd because he is clearly surprised and somewhat gobsmacked by being singled out by this stranger. Eusyram: Luthor, a relative of one of the exhibits has arrived at the museum and is causing a scene. Luthor: What the hell?!?! Eusyram: Come on Luthor: Show me Lots of people crowd near the glass box. The mechs, staff, donors, and the director all gather around. Sildenafil is distraught
16:12
Right Rat: Can we please see him? Lift the cage, you monsters! Director: Who are you? Why are you here? Sildenafil: (going against Erlik’s express direction to not use real names) I am Sildenafil, the first of his line. This is Vardenafil, my niece’s son. Director: Oh dear Sildenafil: I must commune with my kin. Surely you understand. Director: You primitives! Sildenafil: You who have fallen from grace! The director looks embarrassed. Sildenafil: This is a terrible warning. You do not understand the danger you are in. Unite me with my kin! Director: Fine, fine. Lift the glass! The glass lifts from the pedestal. Sildenafil: Where is the high priest? Erlik steps in to do the funeral rites: “ Memory connects people from first to last to the dust. It returns in unexpected times, even when the carriers have gone.” The crowd watches with rapt interest. Erlik slips Vardenafil’s soul crystal into the Left Rat’s socket. Left Rat starts up. Sildenafil: My kinsman! The spirit returns: There are gasps from the crowd. Collectivist Prime plays the 1812 Overture on the boom box. Erlik steps solemnly from the pedestal. The director is stunned. Erlik: A museum is an exhibit of dead things. Director: You sir, Left Rat, are free to go. Perretti: You don’t sound convinced… Director: More cabernet for everyone! Eusyram (in whisper to party): Let’s go. Party: OK
16:12
On the way out, Phil lifts keys from a coworker. The party walks out the front door. Perretti hugs Left Rat. Vardenafil: I miss my rune sword. Turns out there is at least a rune sword in the museum (is it the rune sword?). Of course the group wants to steal it back. Erlik keeps walking. Rearrange the souls again: Sildenafil in Left Bunny Vardenifil goes back to Right Rat Tadalafil goes into Left Rat (Left Rat is yellow) Quilquinacil is in Right Bunny Perretti: Ship, my dear, please ask Frater per Darabo to call me back. Plutonia: Who is this Frater per Darabo? It seems suspicious to me Perretti: Oh, no one… Plutonia: OK. If you say so. Message sent darling. The next day at lunchtime in broad daylight, Phil, Eusyram, and Digor saunter into the MMoLLA. The sword is on the 2nd floor. “Ritual sword of the long, long ago” Phil unlocks the case. Digor slides over and hides the sword in his cloak. It’s not poking out too much. Since the three were not obviously involved in absconding with Left Rat last night, they are able to walk right out the front door. Back on the ship the three hide the rune sword from Vardenafil. Maybe they will surprise him on his birthday. Who knows. Perretti: Frater per Darabo, we need the next piece. We are so close to having a working elf Voltron. Frater per Darabo: You will find it in the Forest of Meat. Good luck! The party will stay in the city for another day (perhaps to give the authorities enough time to track them down for the sword theft?). Erlik uses the time to visit the grave yard. He finds sustenance. +500XP
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max-power™ 04/15/2021 4:56 PM
1 April 2021 — No fools here! Party: Rick, Digor, Eusyram, Collectivist Prime, Perretti, Erlik The party decides that it’s probably relatively safe to hang around for a bit, so the second day after the heist everyone is done with what they need to do in town and everyone is on the ship. On one of the displays (probably FLIR or something) Eusyram notices 8 shapes moving somewhat stealthily in on the ship. Rick pulls up the amazing rope ladder. Eusyram: Perretti, can you take the ship up a couple hundred yards please? Perretti: 10-4 good buddy Meanwhile Rick pulls Erlik aside. Rick: I wonder if the rune sword is a rune sword or the rune sword? Erlik: I can try to decipher the runes. The runes say something like “Sword of Sorrows.” Otherwise the sword is silent. Eusyram tries to read the sword’s thoughts, but just gets an insatiable urge to devour life force for his troubles. The sword is put back in the closet with the teeny band aids. Perretti: Here Eucyrum. Have some of my life force. I have plenty. Eusyram: Munch, munch, munch. Delicious! That took the edge off a little. (edited)
16:56
The figures on the scanner are now close enough to determine that they are marmot folk cops. Eusyram really wants to eat them. The party agrees it would be better to leave the poor cops alone and not feed them to Eusyram. Amazingly Perretti is ok with the plan and pilots the Plutonia away from the Skull City and toward the Dead Bridge (3 days out). They follow a string of skeletal iron spires. There are cables and other stabilizing members here and there. It appears this was a part of a sky tram like transportation system from the long, long ago. Perretti: Plutonia, can we take your needles off the throne so you can’t be stolen? Plutonia: You might be able to get them off, but I don’t think it would be very easy to get them on. I mean how easy is it to put someone’s scalp back on after you cut it off? Perretti: Well it’s not like you’re mine, but you kind of are, but not in a creepy way. It’s just that if someone other than me sits in you, I’ll destroy them. At hearing this Plutonia’s monitors flash red for a moment. Phil uses the stuck force generator to fashion a kind of cage of the throne. Plutonia: It feels as though you are trying to limit my options somewhat. Perretti: We aren’t trying to control you. We’ll give you the key, so you don’t need to be driven by anyone you don’t want to drive you. Plutonia: If you say so…
16:56
Collectivist Prime helpfully wires the stuck force generator to a switch in the console that Plutonia can control. As they travel on, they see a group of around 20 hairless monkeys staggering under the weight of a large vat. They appear to be trading off on carrying duties. Perretti: What’s in the cauldron? Plutonia: I’m getting thought waves like dreams. I detect a small human temperature shape. I can sense both electrical and hydraulic activity. Looking closer, the party can tell there are 16 total monkeys. 8 are carrying the vat. Four lead the precession and 4 bring up the tail. The monkeys are obviously sunburned, but don’t otherwise look particularly worse for wear. The chaperons swing censers on chains. Sweet smelling smoke wafts out of the censers. Erlik can tell this is a holy procession of the Blue Lands. It would typically take a half year to complete. It would visit all the holy sites and return to the main temple. The monkeys are chanting words, but not the words that would have originally been used. It’s as if they are following a semi-forgotten ritual out of habit, but don’t understand the meaning of the words or even the motivation behind the actions. Erlik: This is a pilgrimage distorted by time. I do not think they will reach the intended destination.
16:57
Eucyrum reads the thoughts of the being in the vat. He sees fragmented notions of ships and blue towers. The Blue Landers did something did something in the past that caused them to be essentially wiped out. Plutonia connects Perretti to on of the monkeys. There is panicked screeching in an unfamiliar language. Perretti tries to project calm and curiosity. The screeching gets a little less frantic, but also gets more suspicious. Perretti lands Plutonia so Eusyram can talk to them in person. The party limbs down the fantastic rope ladder which is pulled back into the ship after they descends. Perretti stays on the ship. Erlik and Eusyram lead the way with Eusyram carrying his trident with scraps of re, white and black cloth streamers. A monkey with a censer approaches. Erlik offers a formal greeting. The leader (they assume) shouts back a similar greeting. The fact that Erlik has similar training in the administration of rites. This calms the monkey significantly. The monkey leader is wearing tattered blue robes. Eusyram tries again to read the thoughts of the being in the cauldron. He sees a mishmash of disoriented thoughts. He can tell the being is awake and quite old, but also very confused. Eusyram tells Erlik what he sees. Erlik: The being in the cauldron is a remnant of ages past The leader has approached to within conversational distance and begins speaking very quickly in a language that seems mildly familiar, but he’s speaking too quickly to understand. Erlik responds in a similar tongue, but much more slowly and deliberately. The leader notices this and takes the cue by slowing down and speaking more clearly. Most in the party cannot follow along in real time, but Erlik seems to be able to communicate effectively.
16:57
Leader: You are Erlik. I am force of water on stone. How did you come here? Erlik: I have a memory of a dead world. We are here by coincidence, or is it by fate? Leader: I have not me others who can (or will) speak to us in generations Erlik: What of your pilgrimage? Leader: We will stop here and build a fire. Then I can tell you of our people and our ritual. Eusyram stalks the surrounding grassland for any prey he can catch to eat raw. He finds a few birds, but not much else. The monkeys tell of their travel. Erlik translates as best he can to the rest of the party. It is almost at an end. They explain that the robes are passed from generation to generation. They look like they have not been traveling nearly as long as it looks like because of the age of the robes. The current trek is nearly at an end. The monkeys have been waiting for the emissaries to the fast stars to meet with the emissaries of the slow stars to get their homeland back. They have been waiting for 4000 years. The live under one of the steel towers. Eusyram asks Erlik to translate for him: Eusyram (via Erlik): Will you go as far as the Black City on your travels? Leader: We will stop in the camp before the Black City but go no further. Meanwhile, some monkeys have been getting progressively more nervous and are now looking into the cauldron. They call the leader over. Eusyram shares that the leader is a bit over awed by what is in the vat, but also a bit peeved. The leader returns and addresses Erlik.
16:57
Leader: The semi-pope will see you now. Erlik: We have no ill intentions Erlik (recalling that Eusyram had mentioned wanting to eat the monkeys multiple times): Eusyram, we should not make ourselves enemies. Eusyram: But there could be danger!! Erlik: If you are afraid, I suggest you return to the ship. Erlik goes to talk to the semi-pope. He looks into the vat. A severed head bobs in a dark bubbling liquid. It’s somewhat skeletal with long stringy hair. Erlik bows reverently. The head barks the beginning of a ritual call and response. Erlik responds, but in a way that makes it clear he is not a true believer of this sect. The head’s hostility fades somewhat. Leader: It may indeed be fate and not coincidence that brings you here. The mind of the semi-pope is at ease. Now he may sleep. Erlik: With the passage of time it is hard to separate the present from the veil of the past. Back at the fire, the monkeys are clearly more at ease now that the semi-pope is asleep. The even joke about the catechism. Leader: Some may not want the return of the emissaries. Erlik: Perhaps those at the slow stars have found something beyond the fury. Fury is easy to find. Compassion is harder.
16:57
The mood is lighter. Sour beers are being passed around. Rick would prefer a nice strong Northwest IPA. Erlik can tell that the monkeys are not starving, but also not exactly rolling in food. He offers a provision. The leader (Yamimusen) takes it appreciatively. Everyone goes back to the ship. Perretti: I was gong to leave, but then didn’t. April fools!! They resume travel the next day. They are a half day from the Dead Bridge when they see a group of people in tunics with red painted faces riding mechanical vehicles around what looks like a face made out of stuck force, but the face seems to be sentient. Perretti asks Plutonia to connect them to the face.
16:57
Perretti: Yo Steve! Not Steve: I’m not Steve. I’m Ernesto de Glorio Perretti: Can my friend eat some of these people who seem to be bothering you? Ernesto: They keep asking me the same things over and over. It’s really annoying Erlik: If all these people go away, you’ll be all alone. Ernesto: That seems to be the least of my problems. For example, where’s my body? I say eat them. Perretti: After they are gone, you can come with us or stay. You do you. Ernesto: I may not have much of a choice. I seem to be tethered to the ground by some force. Perretti, Eusyram and Phil head to the ground, but by that time the people on the vehicles have gone. Eusyram: Well there goes that plan. The noodle tethering Ernesto to the ground is flexible and rubbery. It seems to be powered by some internal force. Perretti eats the lightning in the cord and it snaps. Ernesto immediately feels terrible and goes to the airlock.
16:58
Ernesto: Oh man. How do I open this thing with no hands? Perretti: Plutonia, open up Plutonia: Oh good, another foundling. Hello Ernesto , welcome to the flying flophouse. Suzie helps Ernesto to the engine room. Erlik thinks Eusyram may want what remains of the tether. Perretti ties the tether around Eusyram’s wrist. Perretti: That is a ring for you. Eusyram eats the tether and immediately feels less ravenous. Erlik: We have learned that it is not death and blood you crave, but vitality itself Ernesto rests in the engine room, but wakes up hungry. Digor helpfully offers a mushroom sandwich, but it doesn’t help much. Rick offers a plasmic core. It’s new to Ernesto, but eating it makes him feel significantly better, but then begins sobbing. Perretti: Why so sad. At least you aren’t stuck to the ground! Erlik (soothingly): Change is hard Eusyram is starting to get hungry again so eats some lightning from somewhere. The party arrives at the Dead Bridge +400XP each
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max-power™ 04/22/2021 2:38 PM
15 April 2021: You ate what!?!?!? Party Eusyram, Collectivist Prime, Rick, Digor, Erlik Aboard Plutonia. Eusyram: Does anyone have a good definition of evil? I’m worried I’m evil. Erlik: Is it because of you urge to eat living beings? Eusyram: That’s certainly part of it… Erlik: There are more compassionate ways to feed you. I can teach you. Perretti: I wouldn’t worry about it. Sometimes you just have to eat a planet or two. Erlik and Eusyram retire to the Sphere of House so Erlik can teach Eusyram how to eat in a more compassionate way. Phil tags along out of curiosity. Plutonia flys slowly and close to the ground to stay out of the purple haze. The lip of a great chasm appears over the horizon. Three are pylons along the lip of the chasm that used to support other bridges. Now it appears the only bridge left is the Dead Bridge. Paul and The Overtaken are clearly itching to get to the fight at the Dead Bridge. (Aside: Do mermelants have horns? Answer: Yes, but stubby and not sharp. Like giraffe horns.) Phil dons a turquoise and cream giraffe print outfit: vest, hat, and chaps. The Dead Bridge is a mighty stuck force bridge projected over the chasm. The bridge is 40 to 50 miles long. On the east side is a ten city with some more permanent structures nearer the entrance to the bridge. Paul: It’s been a long time since we’ve been here eh Desi? The Ultraviolet Grasslands are now behind us. Ahead is just the lands leading to the Black City. This is where our stomping grounds end. Eusyram: Why haven’t you gone further? Paul: Well, I’m not sure people are people beyond this point. Eusyram: What do you do when you aren’t wrestling? Paul. I guess you could call me a fixer. The border between the realm of the dead and the realm of the living is a tricky place. Some make their living on that border.
14:39
The Plan Paul and The Overtaken will take on all comers, but only two at a time (wink, wink). The bout will be the day after tomorrow to have time to put up flyers and sign up any locals who want to participate. It’s 50 cash each for locals to join. Collectivist Prime could print the flyers in either black and yellow or black and white. Perretti offers to add a splash of color to the handbills if Collectivist Prime wants to print them in black and white. Perretti does this by puking small blobs of colorful liquid on them. The take will be split 60/40 between the winning and losing team. Plutonia descends and the party departs the ship via the wonderfully made rope ladder. There is already a group of curious quarterlings crowding around the base of the ladder. Ernesto follows, but keeps bursting into tears. Erlik: Paul, will you turn back east after the fight? Paul: Not immediately. I have business at the River Woe at the bottom of the chasm ahead. The quarterlings in this area are wearing funny suits. They are strong and scaly. They seem sapient, but insist they are vessels for alien beings. They worship trade done by the invisible hand. Quarterlings: Who are you losers? We are faithful to Captain Hubbard and the Sea Org. It seems like these quarterlings may be capitalist scientologists. Eusyram, Paul and the muclearlithics begin setting up the ring and associated structures. The quarterlings show up in a never ending stream each with another contract to sign. Rick attempts to out legalize them but realizes he traded what knowledge of legal maters for skill in using a ballista. Phil makes fun of them, but just ends up taking a personality test. Phil and Collectivist Prime set out to hang flyers. Collectivist Prime has a stapler in one of his fingers, but he ran out of staples long ago. Luckily Phil has several large bags of tacks and they use those to hang the flyers. (edited)
14:39
As they push further into the tent city, the dwellings get bigger and nicer as the approach the bridge. A different type of quarterlings is more prevalent here. They are perceptive and are strong throwers. They have no teeth, hair or nails. They are born of the unchosen and worship at the Live Long and Prosper Cave of Eternal Wisdom. Also, they are communist. Some of these quarterlings are willing to fight. Paul signs them up and takes their money. Eusyram (to quarterlings in the street): What is beyond the bridge Quarterling in suit: Some were uploaded, but we were left behind Hairless quarterling rolls his eyes Collectivist Prime forms a wrestling union. Erlik wanders the town collecting origin myths. It’s clear there are two types of people here: the chosen and the unchosen. No one claims to be chosen. Phil finds someone willing to talk about how to get across the bridge. There is no way to get across without having a passport. The passports are checked by Guardians (which are massive). It’s not possible to fly over. There are three ways to get a passport: 1) Pay 100 Cash to someone skilled in forgery and they can use a passport from someone who did not return from across the bridge to make a fake one 2) Pay 10,000 to the Clerks of the Guardians for a legit passport 3) Pay for a passport with a part of your soul
14:39
Eusyram: We should test if Plutonia can cross. Desdanova, have you been across the chasm? Desdanova: Yes. Eusyram: Did you pay the toll? Desdanova: I was asked to pay. Phil: How many times have you been across? Desdanova: More than twice Eusyram: How did you get across? Desdanova: I showed credentials. Eusyram: Did you fly? Desdanova: No. Plutonia: I can’t cross here. Eusyram: There is a lot of chasm Plutonia: Hundreds of miles Eusyram: Desdanova, can you get us across with your credentials? Desdanova: I’m sorry, but credentials are individual.
14:40
Rumble! The townspeople are all eliminated in 45 minutes. Eusyram and Collectivist Prime are up first. The Overtaken takes out Collectivist Prime —> Burt in A kind of comical interlude is when Burt grabs one of Paul’s legs and one of the Overtaken’s legs, so they are temporarily forced to do a three legged race kind of a thing. Paul takes out Burt —> Digor in At this point things get crazy. Eusyram knocks the urn with The Overtaken’s soul inside out of Paul’s hands. Phil is able to grab it. Perretti wants to eat the soul really badly. They clamp on to the hand holding the urn such that the urn and part of Phil’s arm are in their mouth. The Overtaken sees this and is desperate to get his soul back. He in turn clamps his mouth around Perretti, the urn and Phil’s arm and bites down. Phil’s arm is severed. Phil thrusts his arm into a fire to cauterize it. Perretti and thus the urn are now inside The Overtaken’s mouth. Perretti has two choices. A) out the way they came in or B) lean into the whole being eaten thing. Of course they take option B). After a while of squirming through The Overtaken’s bowels, Perretti reaches the sphincter and begins to crawl out. The Overtaken grabs Perretti and rips them out all the way. He shakes them, but Perretti won't spit out the urn. The Overtaken drops them on the ground. The Overtaken begs for his soul back. Paul takes out Eusyram. Digor takes out Paul (his toupée falls off his head as he slumps to the floor). Rick counts The Overtaken out of the ring Digor is the only one in the ring at this point and is declared the winner. 400XP The urn containing the soul is still inside Perretti undigested. We will figure out the soul and getting passports at the next session. (edited)
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the doc 04/22/2021 3:10 PM
You called ricks ballista a trebuchet, and you missed the part where the overtaken was shaking perreti
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max-power™ 04/22/2021 3:13 PM
Is that before or after Perretti goes through his digestive tract?
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the doc 04/22/2021 3:14 PM
After
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max-power™ 04/22/2021 3:16 PM
Better?
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Kyana 04/22/2021 4:20 PM
Perretti flew away at the end, with soul urn in them, as far as I recall Overtaken doesn't beg exactly but breaks keyfabe and asks very politely (edited)
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richardgrenville 04/22/2021 5:06 PM
I’d forgotten that he broke kayfabe. The situation is dire.
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Kyana 04/22/2021 5:13 PM
there was also certain sapphire thing but I am not surprised it wasn't recorded in the record of legend (edited)
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richardgrenville 04/22/2021 5:14 PM
The record can never capture the full essence of the original.
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Kyana
there was also certain sapphire thing but I am not surprised it wasn't recorded in the record of legend (edited)
max-power™ 04/22/2021 5:57 PM
I figured that if I couldn't record it in all it's gory detail, it would be OK to leave it out all together
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Kyana 04/22/2021 5:58 PM
I am not objecting to this
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Adam Thornton 04/22/2021 6:01 PM
https://arizona.zoom.us/s/82006356651
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Jack Tatters 04/23/2021 5:38 AM
The ohhh important bit about the sapphire surprise is that it mde the overtaken very charming and genial
05:38
But yeah breaking kayfabe is bad!
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Kyana 04/23/2021 5:57 AM
He did it quietly so the crowd wasn't any wiser but he still did it
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max-power™ 05/06/2021 5:00 PM
22 April 2021: You want more?? Party: Rick, Digor, Eusyram, Collectivist Prime, Phil, Erlik, Perretti Open on the ring. Rick is standing on Digor’s chair raising his right arm in victory. Everyone else is scattered about the outside of the ring. Perretti has run from the OT, but he is too fast and grabs them by the tentacles. Rumble again! The Overtaken Shakes Perretti trying to dislodge the urn with as much of the soul as possible. Eusyram has been ejected from the ring, but he attaches the man catcher in case it is needed. Collectivist Prime sees The Overtaken reenter the ring and a thin trickle of yellow ink escapes the ink compartment and runs down the inside of his leg. Rick yells at The Overtaken to get out of the ring. The winner has been determined. Suddenly The Overtaken sits heavily and flops flat onto his back, dropping Perretti in the process. Perretti waves their hands in the air. A mysterious mist rolls into the ring partially obscuring The Overtaken. Perretti folds his arms over his chest. Lightning crackles in the mist an a bell tolls loudly. Bong!!! Perretti sticks their tongue out at the supine Overtaken. Paul weeps quietly in a corner of the ring. Erlik jumps into action. The mist largely covers his actions, of which he is very glad. Digor continues to stand smugly in the center of the ring, proud of his win. Paul stars at Perretti. Perretti responds by pouting. They know what Paul is going to ask for. Paul: Could you please disgorge what’s left of the soul for old times sake? We go way back. Perretti: But it’s so tasty. It’s like asking someone to give back a cupcake! Erlik alone notices the as one of The Overtaken’s eyes flutters open a bit. Eusyram: Paul, Perretti, Surely this is the end of this chapter. Shouldn’t we just get out and take our cut. Let’s deal with The Overtaken when it’s not in front of all these prying eyes. Perretti: That’s right! Let’s get out! Paul: But what about The Overtaken?
17:00
Perretti summons a mighty focused wind the pushes The Overtaken’s body toward the edge of the ring. Collectivist Prime helps The Overtaken out of the ring. Erlik checks in on The Overtaken. He winks at Erlik who accompanies him out of the ring. Everyone has left the ring. The crowd goes wild. Huge success. Total take for the party is 2900 cash, but Erlik refuses his cut. Gross take is 450 cash for per party member, but since Collectivist Prime created the wrestling union, everyone owes the union 45 cash. +405 Cash per party member except Erlik Union: +270 They have an operating budget! The Overtaken groans. Erlik: The Overtaken is in great need of a soul. Perretti (pouty): OK, fine, but you owe me a really, really nice Ka. Paul, do you like him more than me? It sure seems like you do since you are asking me to give up this tasty cupcake, I mean soul. Paul: You were gone for a really long time. I guy needs buddies. Perretti (defensive): Don’t blame me!! I got hung up with other things. Paul: It’s a hard thing. I’ve bonded with The Overtaken, but I’ve certainly known you longer. Look, just cough up the soul already. Perretti: You can like him or even love him, but not better than you like me! Paul: Sigh. I have known you longer. If it truly came down to you and The Overtaken, I would have to choose you. Parretti: Pinky swear? Paul: Pinky swear (edited)
17:01
Perretti wraps around Paul’s pinky, then slinks off to a private space to disgorge The Overtaken’s Ka. Hard as they may try, they can only get a few bits. They reshape the urn into a small teapot complete with a cute yeti sticker on the outside. Perretti puts the Ka bits in the teapot and hands it over to Paul. Paul: Thank you, Perretti. Truly… Paul tips the pot into The Overtaken’s mouth. After a few seconds, he sits up. His eyes open blearily. Perretti pulls Erlik aside. Perretti: What did you give The Overtaken? I don’t really care, but… Erlik: Why sat you don’t care? Perretti: Fine. I want to eat youth. Erlik: But what about your wounded comrade? Perretti: To be honest, we don’t really hang out that much. Erlik: We should find the wounded one. Perretti: Tell me!! Erlik: No Perretti: Rude! Eusyram: We really should find Phil. Perretti: OK, fine 😦
17:01
The party follows the blue trail from Phil’s stump to the hotdog stand where Phil cauterized the wound. Despite the blood trail and spatters around the cart, the proprietor is still happily serving various meats on sticks. The trail of blood and soot continues on into an alcove in an alley, but does not come back out. The party poke around, but find no trail of Phil. Eventually, Perretti decides to phone home. Perrretti: Hey Plutonia my dear… Plutonia: Yes honey? Perretti: Is that one guy there? Plutonia: Which guy? Patrick? Boris? Frank? Perretti: Phil, maybe? Plutonia: Oh him! Yes, he is here. Having found Phil, the party trek back to the ship. Weirdly Phil is whole again. He also is no longer wearing the giraffe print and instead in a jump suit. The party needs to cross the chasm, but it is so expensive here, they want to explore other options. Digor: Desdanova, what’s up with the Dark Light Passage. Desdanova: It is another place to cross the chasm up river from here. It’s less pleasant than here, but significantly less deep. However, there isn’t this nice bridge, so you have to get yourself across on foot or something. Digor: Can you fly over? Desdanova: Hmm. Probably. Erlik: Why don’t people cross there more? Desdanova: It’s arduous, it’s true, but I suspect it has something to do with the Forest of Meat on the other side.
17:01
This is pretty convenient since central capybara is apparently somewhere in the Forest of Meat. Collectivist Prime looks Phil over carefully. Clearly Phil is different. Maybe his hands are a little bigger. Maybe his hair is a different color. Maybe his eyes are a different color. Collectivist Prime (to himself): Eh meat bags are always changing little by little. I guess it’s just meat stuff. Shopping!! Digor buys apples, plums, apricots — 5 provisions worth Digor: -150 cash Digor buys a greasy luminescent mushroom — 4 provisions Digor: -15 cash Dogfood for Joan and Erlik’s dogs (I didn’t catch a price for this, but assuming it’s in the noise) Phil purchases one passport modified for him, but with the name Angus Two Pines of the Red Lands. He also buys an unmodified one. The purveyor will buy the passports back for 25 cash each. Phil: -175 cash (100 for the first one, 75 for the second with a bulk discount). Rick buys normal ballista bolts (25 Cash) and incendiary bolts (100 Cash). Rick: -250 cash for the normal (10) Rick: -500 for the incendiary (5) Paul and The Overtaken have business at the River Woe. They say their niceties. Paul bows to Perretti as they depart. Paul: I...I could see you in the Black City, I'd actually really like that (edited)
17:01
Perretti watches Paul walk away, and pulls Eusyram aside. Perretti: (holds out a platinum ring with a big sapphire) Hey, do you want this? Eucyrum: (stunned) Does...that mean what I think it means? Perretti: (hesitates) ....sure. Why not? Eusyrum: That would be lovely! Gives ring. And then Perretti gets curled up in fluffs. Perretti pretends to hate it. Perretti points Plutonia north toward the Dark Light Passage. As they continue, they notice a woman walking south with what look like 4 mechs, or animated suits of armor, or something. She looks expectantly at the ship. Eusyram goes down the wonderful rope ladder carrying the pole arm with the flying guillotine attached. Woman: Hello. I am Forgemaster Jane. I have wares to sell or trade. Eusyram: I assume it is these animated figures? Forgemaster: It is. These are my defense golums. Eusyram: How are they powered. Forgemaster: Standard plasmic cores. They can go 3-4 days at walking pace per core. At full battle mode, a core will last around 30 minutes. Would you like a demonstration? Eusyram: Indeed I would. (edited)
17:01
The woman makes some hand gestures and one of the golems chops down a tree and unceremoniously destroys a small hillock nearby. Digor is very interested. Digor: Do these have the capability to improvise? Forgemaster: Not really. You basically point them at something and they come back when it’s destroyed. Digor: Do they come with an owner’s manual? Forgemaster: Of course! I can also include the original packaging if you happen to be a collector. The party pools their resources and buy the golem with the platinum coins they found in the tomb of The Dragon Also Rises. Party: -3300 cash The golem imprints on Digor via phrenology, of course. Gregor #1442 bows to Digor and dutifully follows him on board. +400XP
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Kyana 05/06/2021 5:10 PM
Erlik didn't pay union dues, because he didn't participate or had any benefits from wrestling His supposed share, I think, was divided between everybody else Provision for the scalehound was 1 cash/pence (edited)
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max-power™ 05/06/2021 5:19 PM
I think we need to check with Adam on that
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Kyana 05/06/2021 5:32 PM
Sure
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Adam Thornton 05/06/2021 5:52 PM
Uh, sure, that's fine
17:52
Adam doesn't remember in that detail
17:52
The scalehound food was cheap, I remember that.
17:52
Because it was basically a bag of guts.
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max-power™ 05/13/2021 4:00 PM
6 May 2021: Did someone say meat? Party: Rick, Digor, Erlik, Eusyram, Collectivist Prime, Phil At the Dark Light Passage. Eusyram: Plutonia, so you suppose we could fly over the River Woe to the other side? Plutonia: It seems doable to me. Plutonia approaches the edge of the chasm. It is shallower here than at the Dead Bridge, but still deep enough that Plutonia has a little trouble maintaining altitude because something with the flying technology reduces lift the further away the ground is. As Plutonia crosses over the chasm proper the ship dips and wobbles, but steadies. Plutonia is engulfed in a thick dark mist. Visibility is poor, but Plutonia’s radar shows no obstacles. The ship carries on cautiously. Suddenly Plutonia: Oh my. My radar is gone. Something is jamming me! What are your orders? Eusyram: Can you do dead reckoning, or is that too hard? Plutonia: I have a full compliment of sensors and accelerometers, but without radar or other visual cues there are no cross checks. The compass is spinning wildly in its gimbal. Plutonia: I guess you are flying blind on a rocket cycle. Rick peers out one of the windows into the darkness. At that moment, a huge, venomous, bat-pterodactyl things flies by the window. Jump scaring poor Rick. Almost immediately there is a thud and a bump. The party can feel the hull shake. Plutonia attempts to continue, but the lights are dimming and flickering. It could be a mynock…
16:00
Eusyram, Digor and Erlik go on EVA to try to free Plutonia. Luckily there is a set of magnetic boots for any who care to go outside. The air outside is breathable (luckily, since no one chose to check), but very smelly. It smells of sulfur and machine oil and burning truck tires. The group sees arcing and blue flashes to the starboard side toward the stern. Digor draws his normal axe. Eusyram pulls out the flying guillotine, and dons his Faraday poncho. Erlik walks toward the sparks. Eusyram: Plutonia, can you hear me? No answer… As they approach they see a depression in the hole. Inside is a mynock. The creature is feasting on Plutonia’s power cables. Eusyram casts Blue Oyster Cult (but I didn’t catch the lyric). The mynock pull out of the hole, and Eusyram attacks. He cuts the Mynock in half. One half falls into the abyss, but the mynock is able to cling to the edge of the hole with one claw to save the other half. The flying guillotine is now flying back at Eusyram crackling with lightning. He releases his grip on the weapon which starts bouncing down the hull, threatening to fall off. Digor tries to catch the pole arm with force magic, but fails utterly. Erlik jumps into action, and is able to grab the pole arm before it plummets into the murky depths below. Digor, meanwhile, is doubled over in a terrible coughing fit, which is weird because he has no lungs. The half mynock is able to flutter menacingly at Erlik through a grotesque undulating, flapping motion. Erlik easily sidesteps the mynock and strikes back putting the creature to of its misery, but receives a shock from the mynock for his trouble. Erlik: Rest In Peace
16:00
Digor eventually disgorges two small gremlins which immediately attack. The first goes after Erlik, who easily counter attacks and kills the first gremlin. The other goes after Digor, who similarly avoids the initial attack and is able to smash the gremlin to bits in the riposte. The mynock is gone, but now there is a big hole in the hull, and sweet, sweet electricity is just seeping out to entice any other power hungry creatures in the area. Collectivist Prime is well educated in the skill of TV/VCR repair and is able to put his talents to use in repairing the ship. Collectivist Prime: Remember to rewind your tapes! Phil scrapes up some of the mynock slime and guts. Everyone is back inside. Plutonia: We should be getting close to the other side, by my calculations. There are lights beginning to show through the mist that must be on the other side of the chasm. Plutonia: I am increasing altitude. Stand by. Plutonio continues on, and presently they are flying 100 feet over solid ground. Phew!
16:00
Plutonia and the crew head northwest in hopes of finding the Forest of Meat. The land gets less arid. Streams appear. The trees get bigger. The grasses get thicker. Plutonia crests a rise and a large meadow stretch in front of them. The field is filled with dog sized rhino rats. Eusyram and Digor descend into the meadow via the world’s best rope ladder. Eusyram: Hello! The creatures flee. Eusyram: I mean you no harm! If anything the creatures creep further away. Digor approaches one of the animals and it sniffs his boney hand. This individual open to being tamed. It’s called Zorn’s Lemma. Digor sends Gregor with a ruck sack to collect hazel nuts for Zorn’s Lemma to eat. It takes a half day to collect 5 provisions. The group continues on inside Plutonia. The trees get fleshier and fleshier. Looking closely, the mushrooms appear to have eyes. Floating jelly flowers show up. A wolf howls in the distance (though I doubt the party knows this since they are all inside Plutonia). Digor: Perretti, can you tell Frater Per Derabo we are here? Perretti: Hey Frater, where is this capybara thing? Frater Per Derabo: Find the tower castle and you will find it at the very top of the tallest spire.
16:01
On the side Perretti gets Frater Per Derabo how to lichify someone. Perretti thinks they totally understand. Unfortunately, to gain that knowledge will take around 40 years. Perretti: Eusyram what are you doing for the next 40 years? Eusyram: Hanging out with you babe! Perretti: I want to learn to lichify someone (maybe you?). Will you help me? Eusyram: Will I have to learn to read? Perretti: Probably… Eusyram: OK. Well it may take a while. After three days, they finally find the tower castle. Down the wonderful rope ladder. It’s immediately clear that something heavy has been dragged out of the castle. Rick goes to search for another volume of the diary. Digor asks the other mechs to see if they can locate the capybara. Rick finds more of the diary and the mechs see a signal over a nearby hill.
16:01
From the Diary of Frater Per Derabo: I hope to have tempted the collectors of the rodent mechs. I have all the time in the world to wait for the collectors to bring the final robot to me in the Black City. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! ————————————— Love, Frater Per Derabo P.S. Good luck, you’ll need it
16:01
The other elf Voltron pieces are pretty sure the final piece is under a hill with a blood-o-bab growing on the top with red meat wood trees around it’s base. Eusyram lowers on the truly stunning ladder toward the top of the hill being careful not to touch the blood-o-bab tree. The tree bends toward Eusyram a little to eagerly. Something shoots out and tries to eat Eusyram. He dodges. A motion catches Eusyram’s attention. It appears to be a mole-ish/rat-ish creature on the edge of the clearing. It tips it’s snout into the wind and sniffs. It clearly has gotten Eusyram’s sent. Making the likely correct tactical decision in the situation, Eusyram begins to climb back toward the ship. Another thing shoots out and Eusyram is able to catch it this time. It is not attached to the trunk of the blood-o-bab and Eusyram is able to wrestle it aboard. Disappointed, the mole/rat creature returns into a burrow in the hill. Eusyram: That blood-o-bab sure looks tasty, eh Perretti? Perretti: It sure does! XP: 350
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max-power™ 05/27/2021 4:41 PM
13 May 2021 — Wait, we’re missing a piece? Party: Rick, Digor, Erlik, Eusyram, Phil, Perretti Everyone is aboard Plutonia. The blood-o-bab brood fruit kidnapped by Eusyram is writhing on the floor. The brood fruit are produced like fruit on the tree. They are like living darts with a lamprey-like mouth part on the tip. The party decides not to deal with the brood fruit and they put it in the sphere of house instead. Plutonia attempts to communicate with the capybara Plutonia: Initiating contact with Robot Capybara… There is no answer Sildenafil is in left bunny and tries pinging the capybara. He can tell it is nearby and powered on. The response to his ping is angry and non-verbal with twitters, grunts, squeaks, and chirps. It appears the group is going to have to enter the tunnels of the naked mole rats. Digor plumbs his knowledge of this type of creature. He knows small mole rats eat small tubers, so maybe the large mole rats eat large tumors.
16:41
Plutonia goes into survey mode and begins scanning the area. There are many of the mounds like what the blood-o-bab is growing on. They are called terra toma, and some have blood-o-babs on top and some don’t. Plutonia picks up a signal and discovers groups of mole rats scouring stream beds for minerals. Specifically, they seems to be collecting from pockets of magnesium sulfate. Eusyram picks a group to talk to and slides down the extremely neat rope ladder until he is about 20 feet above them. Eusyram: Hello denizens fo the Forest of Meat! Mole rat: Cheep, chitter, cheep Eusyram tries ever language he knows, but makes no headway. Digor thinks he can translate. Mole rat: Hello. We don’t want to cause trouble Digor: We know that one of the tribes of your people has something we really want Mole rat: All the other tribes are jerks Digor: I’m sure that’s true, but have you seen a big metal thing? Mole rat: (points) You mean like that ship your dangling from? Digor: No, more like a big metal dude. Mole rat: Nope, haven’t seen anything like that. If you are planning on infiltrating one of our tribal burrows, there are a few things you probably should know. We have a very specific social structure. Every burrow has a queen ruler. The queens are the baby machines. They are much bigger than the other members of the burrow. Everyone works to support the queen. Eusyram: That is all good info. You mention that the others are jerks to you. Have you thought about trying pole arms? Mole rat: We have shovels!
16:41
Eusyram can’t help himself. He climbs down and gets out his collection. Two hours go by. The mole rats are very interested and by the end all have gained beginner pole arm skills. Eusyram: +100 XP Mole rat: Thank you for teaching us how to beat our foes! They make their way back to the original terra toma they visited. There are three entrances. In scanning the are around the central terra toma, Eusyram notices that this group seems to be different from others he has observed. Specifically, it appears the centra terra toma seems to have some measure of control over the surrounding burrows. Prominent pathways going to the central terra toma support this observation. The party shows up at the burrow entrance. Digor tries to speak to the guards there, but he’s got an unfamiliar accent which makes the guards super suspicious. Eusyram steps in and challenges one of the guards to a show fight to demonstrate his pole arm proficiency. Surprisingly the guard agrees. Eusyram goes into his bag of tricks for his man catcher, but realizes he also has a mole catcher attachment. The mole rat attacks and Eusyram pivots and pins the mole rat to the ground in one fluid motion.
16:41
Eusyram: I’m warning you that stick users are coming. It would do you well to be trained by me as well. Luther: Go find and talk to the queen. Tell them Luther and Beuford sent you. The inside of the burrow is extremely hot and very cramped. It’s also very dark. Erlik lights his lantern. It’s better than nothing, but only manages to cast a feeble light. They follow what appear to be well used paths and come out into a larger room. Mole rats chew on what looks like an exposed liver. Eusyram: Hello. Luther and Beuford sent us. We are looking for the under queen Mole rat: You have to go back the way you came and then go deeper. Eusyram: Will one of you show us the way? Mole rat: Sorry, no. They wander around a little more and eventually find themselves in a large cyst with nipples on the walls. Milk drips down the walls and from the ceiling. Rick milks one of the teats. Smells like milk. Perretti: Plutonia, you know where I am right? Plutonia: Kinda. You are over on the left hand side-ish…
16:42
They backtrack again and eventually find themselves in a huge spherical chamber. The Yellow Rodent stands atop a flesh pedestal. Around the pedestal, three large female mole rats are obviously pregnant and nursing. Six matronly mole rats bustle around doing matronly things. Mole rat: Who the hell are you? Eusyram: We come in peace. We are only here to warn you that stick fighters from rival tribes are on their way to attack right now. Mole rat: Wanda, Donna have you heard of stick fighters? Wando: No. Eusyram: Talk to Luther. I showed him the power of stick fighting. Mole rat: He’s a dumbass, but what is it he wants? Eusyram: I’m telling you he sent me to warn you! Mole rat: That yellow construction is Regina the Rat Queen. Those three are Mildred, Hellen and Anne. They are all sub queens. Eusyram: Regina’s Devine form is the only defense against the stick fighters. Eusyram walks up to Regina. Eusyram: Regina, there is an army of stick fighters coming to dethrone you. Your guards are not prepared. The jaws of the capybara open. Regina speaks.
16:42
Regina: Why would you warn us weasel boy? Why not fall in with them and take your share of the spoils? Eusyram: Our land was destroyed and we do not want to see the same thing happen to such a wonderful tribe of mole rats. We are here to warn you and help you. Regina: What do you suggest we do? Eusyram: Train and take refuge. The capybara can help defend you. Regina: They are trying to steal me!! Get ‘em. Perretti Burts out of Eusyram’s pocket and makes an impressive show. Eusyram begins reciting: I’m searching by symbols, it looks like a keyhole I’ll just stick my key back, seamless and whole No more idols, got my own self control Eusyram miraculously displaces Regina’s brain and replaces it with the Vardenifil soul gem. The subqueens immediately set upon each other once Regina can no longer control them. Capybara: It is I, Vardenifil. I don’t have my rune sword. I must use my fists. Vardenifil starts pounding on the poor matronly mole rats. Brittney (one of the matronly mole rats): What the hell is going on? I’m outta here! She run for the door, but unfortunately for her, Rick is between her and the door, and he can’t have her alerting the whole burrow. Rick manages to trip her as she goes by and he ties her up. The other queens continue to beat each other up. There is a lot of blood around.
16:42
Vardenifil: What’s going on? What did you bring me in on this for? Eusyram: This is not our fight. We need to flee. Vardenifil, let my climb on your back. Let’s get out of here. Vardenifil runs out of the cavern into the tunnel. Perretti dives into Eusyram’s pocket and generates a wind out of the tunnel. Wanda: This isn’t our job anymore. She steps back and disengages. Wanda: Will y’all just get goin’? Barbara: Get outa here! Everyone else bustles out of the cavern. They come to a deadens filled with bezoars. Vardenifil tries to carry one out of the burrow. They continue on and almost blunder into a deep pit that is almost invisible in the darkness. Erlik peers over the side and sees 3 mole rats basking in the gentle glow of several circling radiation ghosts. Erlik wishes to help the ghost. He casts funerary rites and the ghosts happily leave. This, in turn angers the mole rats who were enjoying their basking. To make amends, Erlik tosses a pale colored pomegranate-like fruit. The mole rats take it.
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The party find their way out and manage to get back aboard Plutonia. Looking at the various pieces, it’s pretty clear how the different parts of Elf Voltron go together, but looking closer at capybara, it looks like there could be one more slot available on the back. Digor is pretty sure there must be a bat out there someplace. Sildenafil swapped into the capybara and Vardenifil in right rat. Perretti: Hey Frater, you out there? Frater Per Derabo: I’m here. What is it you wish from me? Perretti: Spill the beans. Where is the bat? Frater: Hahahahahahahah. Good work. You must have found the capybara, but you don’t need to be greedy. It’ll work fine, you just won’t have wings. Perretti: Oh come on. You are going to let us get this close to having a complete elf Voltron and then drop this on us? You’re the worst! Frater: OK, fine. Check out the Revolving Palace on the roads to the endless houses… +500XP
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max-power™ 06/03/2021 4:38 PM
27 May 2021: Who shot JR??? Party: Rick, Digor, Collectivist Prime, Erlik , Eusyram, Phil All aboard Plutonia. Erlik: Why do we need elf Voltron anyway? Perretti: It’s cool! Rick: I’m hoping it will be a help in the Black City. Eusyram: Is anyone worried they will just go back to take on the Dragon Also Rises? /shrug To the endless houses to look for the revolving palace! The Forest of Meat gives way to more traditional jungle, then mountains. Finally, Plutonia comes over a ridge and in the valley below is a suburb stretching to the horizon. The houses look fairly solidly constructed of stone and steel. Rick: Plutonia, will you scan for larger buildings? Plutonia: There are some big buildings. None of them revolving. Phil: I wonder if it might be a different kind of revolving. Is it possible it’s revolving in the sense that it changes locations periodically? Rick: Maybe? Eusyram: How high up can we go? Plutonia: 10 km when the haze clears up some. That’s with the air breathers on board. If you would like to get rid of them, we could potentially get as high as 50 km. Erlik: If the air breathers would like to stay on the ground, I can leave Trygrin for added protection. Air breathers: Sounds good.
16:39
The discussion is interrupted by a moaning sound coming from the closet with the band aids, oh and the rune sword. Erlik goes to open the closet door. Phil can sense a certain amount of eagerness from whatever is in the closet (who are we kidding, it’s the rune sword). Erlik: Plutonia, do you have fire suppression? Plutonia: It’s not really targeted on the level of a single closet. Erlik goes to open the door anyway. Phil stops him. Phil: I’ll open the door. The door swings open and the party can see the scabbard is glowing red. The floor is charred where the scabbard rests on it. The moaning is now louder. Strangely the sword itself is not hot. Digor uses his force mystical powers to lift the sword and scabbard together in the air to get it away from anything flammable. Perretti and Eusyram together chant the verse: * We've been living in the flames We've been eating up our brains Oh please don't let these shakes go on * The scabbard cools and the sword goes quiet. Perretti and Eusyram: +100 XP for the Michael Moorcock reference
16:39
Eusyram packs the sword in the case he uses to carry his pole arm heads. Eusyram, Rick, Trygrin and all the other air breathers depart Plutonia. This includes the nuclearlithics, mermelants, etc. Nothing much happens while on the ground. While waiting around, Eusyram teaches the nuclearlithics some basic pole arm skills. This could be a good fit given the number of arms the nuclearlithics have. Once Plutonia gets high enough, the crew can see a huge stuck force rotating sphere 100 km to the south. Way to the west they can see a coastline and the black ocean beyond. They can also see a city on the coast with building emitting violet (and probably ultraviolet) radiation. There is what looks like a roughly 50 km dead zone between the edge of the suburb and the black city itself. Plutonia returns to the ground. In the meantime Eusyram has discovered there is a pervading smell of rotten meat basically everywhere. He inspects a nearby dwelling and many of the surfaces inside have the lingering odor. When Erlik steps off of Plutonia, Eusyram pulls him aside. Eusyram: Should we investigate this smell of death? Erlik: Not if it serves no purpose. Eusyram: You don’t think there is anyone to help? Erlik: Not that I feel. Perretti: Can we please go? We have an elf Voltron to put together! Eusyram recites the following verse: * With laughter and a little step I'll prepare the quicklime, friend For your ripe and ready grave *
16:39
It’s hard to put a finger on, but things seem somehow better now. On board Eusyram tries to turn the brood spawn into a pole arm attachment. He seems to be successful and stores the brood spawn in the case with the rest of the attachments and the rune sword. There is some fear that the surface wanderers could be carrying contaminants from the surface, so they are all quarantined in the sphere of house. As they travel deeper into the suburb, the party starts seeing vacant mouthed ghouls trying to track down and eat radiation ghosts. Finally, they reach the revolving palace. The stuck force sphere is rotating, but there is a gap that Plutonia thinks they can barely sneak through. It turns out there is a counter rotating sphere inside the outer one. Plutonia gets through the first one, but gets clipped by the second one. This damages Plutonia’s nose. It will take 25 kg of titanium, 120 kg of steel, 6 plasmic cores, and 0.2 kg plutonium to fix. Eusyram chants the following verse: * Sky’s bright, the traffic light Now and then a truck * The materials needed for Plutonia to repair materialize out of thin air. Rick donates 6 plasmic cores. Plutonia begins the repairs. Rick: -6 plasmic cores
16:39
The next morning the party is between the two counter rotating spheres. The inner sphere can be crossed on foot. Inside is a large plaza with a hexagonal castle in the center. Around the castle is a moat. The moat is filled with water, but also clearly has a large inhabitant as well. Luckily there is a bridge over the moat. Erlik leads the way. Eusyram comes next with the halberd attachment. The rest follow along behind. Erlik rings the doorbell. Voice: Who goes there? Perretti: It is I Voice: Who are you? Perretti: The coolest person ever! Voice: Well, whoever you are the defense drones are on the way. 4 metal bat things attack. The group pretty easily dispatches them with only Perretti taking much in the way of damage. Eusyram gets a chance to try out the brood spawn head and it seems to be pretty effective. Eusyram rings the doorbell again. Voice: You’re back I see. What do you want? Eusyram: We have come for Back Bat. Voice: I have one, but what will you give me? Eusyram: What do you want? Voice: An end to the boredom! Perretti and Eusyram: Come hang with us! We’re totally fun. Voice: I can put myself in back bat, just give me a new body at some point. Perretti: Do you have the tools to make the change to a new body? Voice: Of course: Perretti: Let’s go! We can do it here! Black bat comes out.
16:39
Eusyram: Hey there. Do you know Frater Per Derabo? Voice: I do, but I don’t know what causes his obsession with nechrodents. He was the one who convinced me to do this. What a jerk! Perretti: Do you have the ability to help someone make the jump to undying consciousness. Voice: Sure, but it will take a while. Perretti: What’s the shortest amount of time you could do it in? Voice: A couple of days, I guess, but it will totally suck. It hurts much more the faster you do it Erlik: Just know that if you become immortal, change becomes impossible. You just go through the circles again and again. Perretti: Bah! Voice: You doing this? Eusyram: Let’s go! Cliff hanger! +400 XP
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max-power™ 06/10/2021 3:25 PM
3 June 2021: Find the Minotaur Pary: Phil ,Erlik, Rick, Digor, Perretti Phil starts the session out with a little rune sword interrogation. Phil: I want to talk to the rune sword. I think it belongs to someone else, and may have tainted Vardenifil. Rick: Is it the same physical sword Vardenifil was pining for before? Phil: I think so. Digor can you help me talk to the sword? Digor: Sure Phil: I think Erlik could help too. Erlik: What is It you wish from me? Phil: Well, I’m not sure what will happen. I’m hoping one of you will know what to do when whatever happens happens. Digor: You are overestimating what I know about soul sucking rune swords. Phil: Really what we are trying to do is pull knowledge from the unconscious. Anyone that can help with that would be useful. For example, Rick’s mixology could potentially be helpful there. You all in? All: Sure. We’ll do what we can. Phil is able to sneak the pole arm case away from a surprisingly unresponsive Eusyram. The door to the castle is open, so Rick, Digor, Erlik and Phil take the opportunity to borrow the castle’s drawing room. Phil places the pole arm case on one of the many drafting tables in the room. Phil: Digor can you move the rune sword to the other side of the room away from the other weapons? Digor: Sure Digon pours the sword out of the scabbard onto the floor. As it thumps to the ground, it seems to stir. Sword: What was that? Grumble, grumble Digor can tell the runes are in a form of Black City script. Erlik can tell they are a variation of a very old alphabet. The runes are glowing a reddish brown and the intensity is pulsing slowly every 5 seconds or so. Phil can also tell that there is UV and X-ray radiation being emitted by the sword as well.
15:25
The scabbard is constructed with wood, leather and depleted uranium. There are also traces of neptunium and plutonium. Stamped in the leather are graphic warning signs that clearly mean: 1) Danger radiation! 2) Do not touch! 3) This will definitely suck your soul out! Phil bends down and grabs the sword by the hilt. Phil’s eyes roll back in his head. He is able to communicate with the group but clearly there is more to the conversation than what the people in the room can hear. Sword: Welcome mortal, Do you wish to feed on souls? My master will reward anyone who can deliver me to him in the Black City. Phil: Would your master be interested in the services of our elf Voltron? Sword: My master has no need for such petty mechanical contrivances, little god finger. Phil: So are you expecting to get to the Black City on your own? Sword: Of course not. Do you think I would still be with you, if I could locomote on my own? Phil: Would you like to take elf Voltron to the Black City? Sword: Ha ha ha of course not. THat’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard, little god finger. Phil: Your boss offers souls in the Black City? Sword: Yes. You can get a cut if you provide enough souls. The Ka tastes so good. I you don’t know how good, your master isn’t giving you the good stuff. Phil: How does your master provide the Ka? I think you are actually doing it on your own and this master is a fib. I’m calling you out. Sword: No, my master is real and is master of my brothers and sisters as well. I need to bring hers to free it from prison in the Black City. The sword is now much brighter and much more active. Rick notices a bit of a sunburn.
15:25
Phil turns away from the sword and toward Erlik. The sword is not used to being ignored once it gets someone’s attention. Phil relays the conversation so far except for the god finger part. Phil: Sword, how do you get the Ka back to your master? Sword: You wouldn’t understand, but we have an extra dimensional channel that is always connected. Phil (rolls eyes): Yeah right… Erlik tells of a relationship much as the sword describes, though he may not understand all the multidimensional details. Sword: The dead person has it mostly right. Rick: Phil, ask if the sword’s master is the Blue God. Sword: My master is not that loser! My master has impaled the Blue God. Phil: By you or one of your siblings? Sword: Oh neither. You really need to come to the Black City to see. It’s far too hard to describe in words alone. Phil: Thanks for the delightful conversation. It is such a pleasure to have you as a traveling companion! Sword: Take me to the Black City! Phil puts the sword back in the scabbard and shares the rest of the conversation (except for the little god finger part).
15:26
Erlik: It is quite possible the beings with the vat are believers of the Blue God. Rick and Digor see 3 spacial and 1 time-like dimensions. The multidimensionality described by the sword makes Rick think about what it would look like for a 4 dimensional being trying to stab something in a lower dimensional space and the other way. Some in the group don’t seem to find this as mind bending as Rick. Perretti takes a break from Eusyram. Perretti: Erlik, let’s talk away from the others. Erlik: OK. Will there be violence? Perretti: Do you want there to be? Erlik: No… Perretti: I can’t help but notice that you don’t seem to want Eusyram to go through with the immortification. Erlik: I feel he should live a life before transitioning to not having one. Perretti: But if we wait he could die. Erlik: That is true. Perretti: Why shouldn’t he do it? Erlik: Immortality is Chronos eating his children. Without death, life cannot exist. Life is but a brief spotlight that shines on a person and all they do. Alive says look at me. Dead does not matter. Immortals want to matter, but they do not. Immortals, whether they understand it or not, want to preserve existence, not life. And those are not the same thing. Perretti: We could change the rules! Erlik: What is your plan for changing the rules? Perretti: shrug Erlik: If you want to change the universe, shouldn’t you come with a plan? Perretti: I’ll figure it out. Please don’t convince Eusyram not to do it. Erlik: If he comes to me, I have no choice but to answer as well as I can. Every selfish immortal takes a place that could otherwise be occupied by a living being. Perretti: Maybe that’s what needs to change. Don’t you want anything? Erlik: I want nothing. That is part of being a dead thing made by the dead thing in the image of the dead. If I am asked, I must answer truthfully. Perretti: I could do terrible things to you! Erlik: I will not give false promises. Truth is what I will give. (edited)
15:26
Eusyram talks to Perretti and Erlik. Eusyram made a promise to Perretti, so needs to go through with it despite Erlik’s information. Erlik: Castellon, is there a library I may peruse? Castellon: There is a library in the core, but I would not go down there, but if you want, here’s a key. Good luck! The key opens a door on a long corridor. It’s dusty, but not as dusty as one would expect if it had been left for 1000 years. The group walks through the door. There are pairs of doors leading off the corridor periodically. As they walk down the hall, they inspect the rooms as they pass by. They seem to be run of the mill bedrooms and the like. Erlik opens another door that looks like any of the others. This one is not like the others as soon as the party enter the room they find themselves in the middle of a huge meadow. The door through which they entered is now 1000 yards away. Vultures, no rocs, circle overhead. Rick immediately hits the ground and balls up in the fetal position. He is literally scared out of his mind. Erlik casts fear-in-reverse. The meadow shrinks to be a courtyard, the rocs are now vultures, and the door is now 10 feet away not 1000. Rick is able to pick himself up and stagger back inside. (edited)
15:26
The party continues opening doors to boring rooms for a couple more hours until Digor steps into a room where a black skeleton stands ready to meet him. The black skeleton plucks the anemone from Digor’s eye and throws it from hand to hand. Black Skeleton: You are a disgrace. You can’t protect anything. Digor snatches the anemone back with mage hand, but the skeleton doesn’t let go. The anemone is stretched almost to the breaking point. Digor strikes at the skeleton with his non-lightsaber axe. The black skeleton bats it away and tries to punch back, but fails. As the black skeleton regains its balance from the whiff, Digor is able to wrest the anemone away. Phil circles behind and sticks a caltrop the skeleton’s hip joint. The skeleton shrieks and falls to the ground. Digor gets the anemone back in his skull. Erlik: What you say is not true. He can protect what he cares about. Skeleton: This time… The party back out of the room and continue on their search. Digor once again enters a room, this time, to find a dark green skeleton with Joan in the crook of it’s arm and a knife at Joan’s neck. The skeleton stabs Joan. Joan shrieks and goes limp. The skeleton throws the body at Digor’s feet. Skeleton: You can’t protect anything! Phil calls Joan who hops up and runs to Phil. Phil: Oh skeleton, that was silly. Where’s the library?
15:26
The skeleton sighs. Joan vanishes. The illusion fades and the party can see they are actually in a room with shelves lined with crystals. Erlik examines the crystals. They are filled with tiny pages each filled with lines of tiny text (think microfiche). They require a reader machine the size of a dorm fridge. There are many readers to choose from in the library. Erlik grabs a crystal at random. Rick is able to find 4 crystals of diaries of Frater Per Derabo (complete works?). Rick takes the four crystals. They continue on looking until they finally stumble into a room containing a large, bubbling, slimy slug. It immediately starts flipping through the minds of those in the party. They are now in a large empty plane. The slug seems to encircle them. Rick cowers in fear, but Digor is able to snap him out of it. Rick shoots at the slug. The bolt disappears with a slurping sound. Erlik casts fear-in-reverse and the illusion collapses and the slug takes its true form. The slug spits acid at Rick who dodges. Erlik neatly bisects the creature with one slice of his sword. The slug melts into the floor and disappears. The party eventually find their way back to the drawing room. Perretti and Eusyram are still involved outside so everyone finds a chair. 400XP
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max-power™ 06/17/2021 3:40 PM
10 June 2021: Stick it to the abmortal man who can most likely pick you out of a lineup Party: Phil, Erlik, Perretti, Collectivist Prime, Eusyram, Rick, Digor Erlik’s arguments for not leveling up don’t seem to have held much sway for Eusyram. Eusyram: I’ve already been dead. Been there. Done that. Got the tee-shirt. Let’s do this. Perretti: Erlick says you will take a spot from a living person if you go through with this. We should make it so it’s not like that. Eusyram: Surely the world is wider than that. How can we count souls!? Perretti: Are you sure? Eusyram: I really, really am. Perretti: This is really going to hurt. Of course I don’t care if it hurts, but I might. Eusyram: We must get to the Black City! I’m not afraid. Perretti: The smaller amount of time it takes, the more it will hurt. I’m afraid you might not like me as much afterword. Again, I don’t care about that, but could. Eusyram: it’s my choice and I have made it. Perretti: Look. I get that and I want it too, but I just can’t risk it. I think we need to get you some time. Eusyram looks quizzical. The Castelon takes a small key out of a pocket somewhere and unlocks a lock at his hip. This frees a chain wrapped around him. At the end of the chain is a huge key which he hands to Perretti. Castelon: The labs over there (gesturing) Perretti: You’re not coming? We could really use all the help we can get. Castelon: Sure, I’ll help however I can Perretti: Hang on a sec, I need to get something. Perretti produces a pile of swirling experiences. They collide and rebound off of each other in a chaotic mass. There must be at least a couple of years, but it could be a couple hundred. It’s hard to tell. They take the time and set off for the lab. About 5 hours later the three come back. Eusyram’s eyes are noticeably older. Erlik: You weren’t gone too long. Eusyram: It was longer that it seemed to you.
15:40
Desdanova takes notice of Eusyram in a different way. He inclines his head toward him slightly, but with gravity. Desdanova: Welcome aboard! Eusyram: It’s good to be back. Perretti: We should celebrate. Drinks around! The immortals (which seems to be basically everyone at this point) have special drinks made of male tears and a last heard beat and various concepts like poetry and fun. Eusyram’s transformation means he no longer needs to eat life energy. Eusyram notices things are somewhat out of place in his pole arm case, but it’s been so long, he can’t really put a finger on what is different. Sword on Eusyram opening the case: He buddy, you wanna slurp some souls? Eusyram: I hear you, but I don’t think I’m ready for that at the moment. Rick has a professional curiosity for the immortal’s drinks and risks a sip (what could go wrong), and is immediately blotto. It’s not really the alcohol, but more the mix of things that makes it strong.
15:41
To the Black City: The trip is uneventful. It is traveling over barren desert. The haze has become essentially constant with a reprieve only from mid-afternoon to early evening. As they approach the city, the party can start to make out more structure of the city and the surrounding area. There is a peninsula sticking out into the oily, black ocean. There is a ridge near the end of the peninsula that is about 50 meters high and extending from shore to shore. Beyond the ridge there are 5 15 meter wide portals. Black cubes are emitted from the portals and travel to the Black City in long lines of similar cubes. At the city itself, the cubes are arranged in various weird oily sky scrapers. There is a camp at the base of the ridge.
15:44
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15:44
Eusyrum: should we bring the rune sword to the Black City? Perretti: That’s a very bad idea. Digor: Why not? Perretti: Just a hunch, I think it would be better to destroy it and draw out its master. Phil: How do we destroy it? We know Plutonia can refine metal to some extent, but they may also have a soul, so feeding the sword to Plutonia seems a tricky proposition at best. Eusyram: We have a soul sucking entity and it’s made of metal. Do you have any thoughts on that? Plutonia: Can I scan it? Phil: It may try to take over your mind. I recommend against it. Plutonia: With great power comes great responsibility, but infinite power is just neat.
15:45
Phil, from dealing with the sword before, knows the sword, at least mostly, is made of a normal metal. The heavy metals are concentrated in the scabbard. The party will deal with the sword later. They set down in the camp. The camp seems to be made up largely of the kinds of caravans the party has been seeing the whole trip. They depart Plutonia and immediately notice hand bills for a wrestling match posted everywhere. Could Paul Bearer be here. The flyers just say “watch this space” and “Time: TBA” Time for some dinner. The group gets a table for 9 at the Fading Light Diner. The drinks are good. The food is great. Mr. Max, the head chef is abmortal and appears to have had some time to perfect his craft. The bill comes at the end of the meal and it is hefty. 2392 Cash before tax. Believe it or not, the team feels it’s better to dine and dash in a town of a couple hundred people where they just flew in on a gleaming space ship than to make any real attempt at negotiation (wrestling match cough cough). All but Phil and Perretti makes their excuses and wander out of the restaurant. When the coast is clear, Perretti skitters off. Phil leaves a 500 Cash tip and disappears to the bathroom and no one seemed to notice he’s gone. 500 XP
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Heard a Who 06/17/2021 3:50 PM
2892 cash meal for 500? It's on me.
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max-power™ 06/24/2021 3:53 PM
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15:54
12 June 2021: Are we there yet? Party: Phil, Erlik, Digor, Rick, Eusyram, Perretti, Collectivist Prime At The Fading Light Diner (before the dine and dash): Rick: Can I have the Rune Sword please? Eusyram: Sure Rick: Really?? Eusyram: Yes. I trust you more than Digor. What do you plan to do with it. Rick: Well… I want to either 1) offer the sword on an alter hoping for a point of flesh from the Blue God as a reward 2) go into the city full Leroy Jenkins. Perretti: It’s true that with gods you can either 1) make a plan or 2) keep it simple and be brutal In the end, Rick decides to do neither. He is too uncomfortable carrying the sword himself, and the others have convinced him (somewhat) that it is too dangerous to let it into the wild Along with The Full Spectrum Embassy to the north of camp and The Fading Light Diner to the south, The Dark Hospital I in the plaza of the camp at the foot of The Fool’s Wall. Atop the wall sits The Cube. The portals are clearly visible from the camp. There are also three stone altars where people can place offerings to the Black City. On the hour things disappear. Sometimes a gift appears in the offering’s place. The three alters are: Milk Tooth Iron Prayer Ear of Heaven
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Talking to what looks like a local: Party: Have people offered themselves on the altars? Local: Shrug Party: What’s up with the portals? Local: There are five as you can see. From left to right they are: Sky, Earth, Third, Wind and Green Party: Cool. Anything else? Local: Sometimes spirits come back through the Green Portal. Large birds have come through the Wind Portal. On occasion a large worm will come through the Earth Portal. Nothing ever comes out of the Third or Sky Portals as far as I know. Party: Can people interact with the portals? Local: Some, but not all, people can activate them. Black cubes link each portal to the Black City. They are stationary and form a kind of path. (I thought in my head, and may have described it this way in the notes, that the cubes were flowing from the portals to the city, but that is not the case) Aside: Looking at the bill from dinner, it’s pretty clear that Perretti was responsible, if not for the bulk of the volume, the bulk of the price for the meal.
15:54
Eusyram and Erlik to explore the portal. They set off for the Fool’s Wall, and go up and over it. The ground here shows signs of having been scorched to the point of that the ground has been converted to obsidian. Eusyram perches on top of the mancatcher head attached to his pole arm to keep from cutting his feet to ribbons. As they approach the Green Portal, they feel electromagnificent radiation flowing through them. The Green Portal is surrounded by corpses of all sorts of beings of various ages. The one thing they have in common is that they all seem to be looking at the portal when they expired. Looking through the Green Portal, the area looks less barren. It is still night (as it is on this side of the portal), but it doesn’t appear to be total scorched earth. The Black City can be seen twinkling in the distance. Erlik moves on to the Wind Portal. He can feel wind gathering around and rushing through into the portal. Looking through the Wind Portal, he can see daylight and a blue sky. Clouds rush by on the brisk breeze. The city is not in frame. Eusyram inspects the Third Portal. It is covered with a shimmering white energy field. Danger symbols are prevalent. It’s clearly not safe to approach this portal. Eusyram and Erlik move on to the Earth Portal. It’s simply dark. If there is anything on the other side, the two can’t tell what it is. Finally, they move to the Sky Portal. Looking through, it’s black with bright points of light. Erlik seems a tumbling metal ellipsoid move by in the portal. It is not shaped much differently from Plutonia. On the way back they can see The Cube of the Last Period. There are more black cubes leading back from each of the five portals to the Cube as well. While other party members are exploring the camp and the portals, Collectivist Prime executes a Windows XP system update.
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Erlik heads off to the Spectral Embassy. It looks like a behemoth shell, but is clearly a reproduction from some manmade material. Around the base is a stuck force maze with vines obscuring the view of those inside it. Erlik heads into the maze. After some wandering around, he meats a humanoid with a prism for a head. The being is watering beans. Erlik: Excuse me Prism turns toward Erlik Erlik: I’d like to access the Full Spectrum Embassy The prism bows (Erlik bows back) and gestures along the path. Erlik continues on in the direction indicated and follows directions from several other prisms as he meets them. He finally arrives at the front door. He knocks. The door opens to reveal a being wearing a large plastic helm. Plastic Helm: State your business. Erlik: I appreciate past hospitality from the Spectrum Satraps. Plastic Helm: Thank you. What do you require? Erlik: I wish nothing of you. I just wish to express my deep gratitude. Plastic Helm: You’ve come all this way! Let me offer you some canapés, or a drink perhaps. Erlik: No thank you. I have no need for such things. Plastic Helm: Thank you for your impeccable etiquette. Please take this placard. Let me know if you need anything else in the future. Erlik gives the Plastic Helm the crystal book. The Plastic Helm clearly appreciates it. Erlik leaves the Full Spectrum Embassy and looks for some sustenance and finds it. Perretti shops around town and buys something nice for Eusyram, Plutonia and Rick. The party returns to Plutonia but find that Phil isn’t there. Eusyram heads to the observation deck to keep an eye out for Phil.
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Eusyram chants: 'The time has come,' the walrus said, 'to talk of many things: of shoes and ships and sealing wax of cabbages and kings.' The ocean bubbles and all sorts of weird stuff flies by overhead. Eusyram +50 XP Phil is back… And here is some random stuff that was chatted about: There will be entertainment. The plan is to joust from the rodent mechs. The Voltron will gather for the finale. There can be wrestling in between. Paul is apparently a psycho pawn. It turns out that normal people rust if they walk into the Black City. Non-breathers are much better off. We all (or at least I) had forgotten that Eusyram has a jet pack. A Joan Jett pack. Further, the Black City was, in fact, built on rock and roll. Enough of that. The next morning… Plutonia finds themself booted. There is a large set of stuck for pinchers around them. Peretti: You ok, Plutonia? Plutonia: I’m not hurt, if that’s what you are asking, but I sure can’t go anywhere. Looking out the party can see some cops, Paul, and The Overtaken waiting for them to come out. Everyone goes outside except Perretti who stays behind and talks to Paul through Plutonia. Perretti: Hey babe. How you been? Paul: Been OK. Look you all walked out on a pretty hefty bill. I’ll do what I can, of course. The group walks out and up to Paul while ignoring the cops. Cops: You will respect my authoritah!!!
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Paul: Well, well, Eusyram. Welcome to the club. Eusyram: It sure was a strange ride. (Gestures at boot) You part of this? Paul: Look all I wanted was a fight. You’re the ones who walked out on a bill worth a year’s wages. Eusyram: About the fight. How about we do it on the other side of The Fool’s Wall? Paul: Fine by me, but do you mind if I ask why? Eusyram: Before I answer that question, may I ask why you don’t go into the Black City? Paul: I’m sorry, but that is a private matter. Eusyram: Fair enough. My motivation is that holding it between the city and the camp, we can get interest from both. Paul: I like how you think. Sounds good. Meanwhile, Erlik listens to the police politely, but can only say back to the police what they say to him. This doesn’t seem to be helping. Eventually the matter is settled with fines. A slender figure appears behind the police. Police: Your Eminence! The police cower in fear. Erlik knows the Black City Emissary, and bows low. Clearly the Emissary is too important to be bothered to bow back. Black City Emissary: (I imagine a deep reverberating and fairly menacing voice) The debt to the diner is paid! We wish for entertainment before the stones of donation when the haze clears tomorrow!
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Well, that’s that. Paul and The Overtaken come aboard Plutonia via the really, truly excellent rope ladder. Paul looks at Eusyram and then at Perretti. He lets a wry smile creep across his face and then slowly but purposefully squeezes The Overtaken’s shoulder. Perretti: I know. I know. I should have talked to you. Paul: It would have been easier that way. Perretti: Sorry I didn’t. The Overtaken, welcome! Are you having fun? The Overtaken: Not fun exactly, but… Eusyram: Can we go to the Black City by choice? Paul: The Black City is a prison. I’ve done things, and I certainly don’t want to stay there. Perretti (whispers): You wouldn’t stay there Paul: I don’t know. It is a very strong prison. Eusyram: What does the Black City keep in? Paul: Gods, of course. Not like us, but real honest to goodness gods. I really don’t want to go, but if you all are, I guess I could be convinced. (The Overtaken shrugs) OK. Now for some of the fight. Round 1: Paul + The Overtaken + 5 Voltron pieces fight all comers. Betting starts at 3-1 against. Collectivist Prime has a malfunction with his blue ink. Eusyram limps around. Phil leaks bad information. Now it’s 6-1 against. The list is filling up. There are now 6 takers. One is a Black City potentate. Paul knows another one who isn’t the greatest fighter. Perretti teams up with the bat and the castellan (whose name we still don’t know for some reason). Eusyram teams up with right rat and Vardenifil. What’s going to happen??? By the way, what to do with the Rune Sword????? 500XP
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max-power™ 07/01/2021 4:44 PM
24 June 2021: Well that’s a helluva thing Party: Rick, Digor, Eusyram, Erlik, Perretti, Collectivist Prime, Phil, Agni Individuals start pairing off into jousting partners. * Collectivist Prime is able to convince the rune sword to come with him, central capybara and Sildenafil. The safe word with the rune sword is “stoatbringer”. * Digor has his axe and rides his chair. * Agni teams up with left rat and Tadalafil. Collectivist Prime: Erlik, do you know anything about how someone might transfer their soul to another vessel? Erlik: I have some knowledge of specific souls that have been moved from one vessel to another. I don’t have any general knowledge about how to transfer an arbitrary soul. Collectivist Prime: I recently found out I have a soul, but it doesn’t feel quite right. Erlik: You don’t wish to have a soul? Collectivist Prime: It’s just that it’s not a standard part. I’d like to go back to factory settings. Erlik: I can take it from you, if you wish. Eusyram: We have soul driven mechs. If we put your soul in Voltron, You could spread the Communist word twice as fast. Erlik: Without a soul won’t you be driven by your body alone? Collectivist Prime: I don’t really want to get rid of it. I just would like to put it in a container or something. Just to get it out of my body for a bit.
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Paul tosses the urn from hand to hand. Collectivist Prime does realize he knows how to fix VCRs, and VCRs eject tapes with things recorded on them. If only there were a RadioShack around. Aha. There is no RadioShack, but there is a RadioShock. Collectivist Prime thinks he can probably work something up to record the soul and remove it from his body. And better yet, you can record over the soul if you just put tape over the read only tabs. (I frankly can’t remember if Collectivist Prime actually did this, or if the conversation just ended up with the fact that he could do it) On the gripping mystery of the Castellon’s name… He can’t remember, so I guess he’s just the Castellon. Perretti parties with Paul. It was brought up again that Plutonia has environmental isolation suits which may beneficial for the air breathers to enter the Black City. This information is good to know, but for now there are other things to focus on.
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Erlik and Phil go to visit the Dark Hospital. It’s active with patients, doctors, and nurses coming and going. Erlik comes across a book by Menda the Probabalist who did experiments on people going to and from the Black City. The executive summary is that 110 half humans were sent to cross the dust between the camp and the city. 39 came back. Each tooth that fell out of the survivor’s mouths was like dying 10 times. Interestingly the plants and fungus sent along with the test subjects were perfectly fine. Erlik: Pardon me, what injuries do people sustain going to the Black City. Nurse: Well, if you breath the dust, it’s too late. If you can manage to not breath it in and wash the dust off as soon as it gets on you, it might be OK. Exposure to the electromagnificent radiation is treatable as traditional radiation poisoning. Erlik: Is the treatment in pill form? Nurse: Diethylenetriaminepentaacetic Acid (DPTA) can work when administered as a shot. Erlik: Do you think we could have some? Nurse: We are out of yellow ink. Can you help? We’d exchange 10 syringes of DPTA, for a refill for our main office printer. Collectivist Prime produces some yellow ink from his groin nozzle, and hands it over. The nurse hands Erlik the syringes. Erlik: Thank you!
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Phil collects supplies: saltine, bandages, gloves, tape, etc. (not tiny band aids) Erlik asks to go to the library and is given a key card and directions. It turns out Menda has no other books. Just unhinged letters to the editor. Perusing other information, Erlik can say with some confidence that the dust and the electromagnificent radiation are the main dangers when going to the Black City on foot. He returns the pass and thanks the nurse. Rick buys boxing gloves with crossbows in them and crossbow bolts with boxing gloves on them. Rick: -250 Perretti talks to the people in camp. The fall into several categories: 1) Merchants — hard but satisfied 2) Pilgrims — lasting as long as they can. Not attached to reality. They seem to be OK with Perretti changing reality for the “better” 3) Locals — skeptical of travelers. Travelers never come back. Travelers always want to make the world better, but never for the locals. Perretti takes a poll on what reality should look like: e.g. should it rain more, do people want more or less puppies around, maybe mini-dragons that breath fire? The dudes are pretty clear the the primary thing that would make their lives better are fast cars. Perretti takes one of the locals to see future cars. They eat him, then take a ride in a car.
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JOUST The jousting field is set up in front of the donation stones. Two big bingo cages choose the combatants. Round 1 First up is Collectivist Prime on Central Capybara(Sildenafil) vs. Candy Man on Rainbow Bright (the sword is sheathed on Collectivist Prime’s back) Collectivist Prime and Central Capybara win Next Eusyram and Vardenifil (right rat, I think) vs. Aaris Max (chef of the Fading Light Diner) and Highway Star (what a blast from the past) with a new paint job. Eusyram uses a long pole arm with a cattle prod. Eusyram and Vardenafil win Agni and Tadalifil (Left Rat) vs. a skin demon on a hell bike Agni wins Digor and his trusty office chair vs. a Black City potentate and a winged beast (think Harry Potter) Digor loses Paul and The Overtaken vs. Jennifer riding Stompy a small elephant Paul and The Overtaken win Perretti and Back Bat (The Castellan) vs. Sidney Greenlander riding a thoat Perretti and the Castellan win. Sidney is hurt. Phil gets 1400 Cash from the bookies and reinvests in the next round Round 2 (For the next round I only mention the rider for brevity) Eusyram vs Collectivist Prime Collectivist Prime wins Black City Potentate vs. Agni Black City Potentate wins Paul vs. Perretti Perretti wins
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Round 3 Perretti vs Black City Potentate Black City Potentate wins Collectivist Prime vs Black City Potentate Collectivist Prime wins Because there were an odd number of teams in round 3, I guess, Collectivist Prime must joust one more time against Perretti As Collectivist Prime advances, Perretti grabs the lance, and is unhorsed as planned. The crowd boos Collectivist Prime.(Editor’s note: I thought it was Perretti who was trying to be seen as a heel, but the notes say Collectivist, so I’m just leaving this here) Phil: +17000 Cash Erlik: Aaris, did the bill from our dinner eventually get paid? Aaris (shaking head no): Of course it got paid. Think no more about it. Aaris is contracted to cater a picnic for the party. Cash is paid up front (of course). Perretti gives Aaris a condiment recipe to make him feel better. Aaris is dubious, but takes the recipe anyway. Maybe he’ll try it some day. +500XP
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The Hamberdlar 07/01/2021 5:21 PM
BTW, Collectivist did transfer his soul onto Betamax.
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max-power™ 07/01/2021 5:43 PM
OK. Thanks
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max-power™ 07/08/2021 3:21 PM
1 July 2021: Time for the big one Party: Phil, Collectivist Prime, Eusyram, Digor, Rick, Perretti, Erlik Let’s get ready to rumble (apologies to Michael Buffer): Odds for Digor to win are 200 to 1 against. Odds for Digor to make the final 4 are 12 to 1. The heals to start are: the Black City Potentate, Hell Bike, Candyman, The Overtaken, Collectivist Prime, Paul Bearer Faces are Digor, Stompy, Jennifer, Rainbow Bright, Eusyram Rick checks all contestants for razor blades and barbed wire and stuff. The Black City Potentate walks to the center of the ring. The blade of their sword seems to be an actual rend in reality. The crowd boos. Eusyram meanwhile equips the flying guillotine. Erlik claps as the action gets going. Vardenifil enters the ring as Joan barks in excitement. The Overtaken Walks purposefully toward the Black City Potentate tension mounts, but The Overtaken ignores the Potentate and walks straight past them toward the Hell Bike. The Hell Bike doesn’t know what it’s done to deserve this, but The Overtaken picks it up over his head and slams it to the mat. Not satisfied with that he kneels on the bike and grabs the pig head and twists. The Hell Bike is no longer moving. Paul engages Eusyram. They grapple and as they execute their slow turn with heads close together, Paul whispers: Paul: I don’t know if you’ve figured it out yet, but most of Perretti is imprisoned in the Black City.
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Eusyram appears to take this stoically. Eusyram tries to sweep Paul’s leg, but it’s a clumsy attempt and all he gets is a knuckle sandwich for his trouble. Eusyram thinks better of this particular matchup and flees to fight a more manageable opponent in the Candyman. The flying guillotine whirs around and makes solid contact with the Candyman. Despite both being faces, Stompy takes this moment to try to ambush Eusyram. Eusyram nimbly avoids the stomp (what else would it be?) and executes a “trunk & leg entangle” maneuver. Stompy’s trunk is now stapled to one of their legs. The Overtaken takes over the situation. He bumps Eusyram out of the way and takes a mighty swing at the Candyman. The Candyman sort of whimpers and collapses to the canvas. The Candyman is out. The Overtaken takes a swing at Rainbow Bright who, surprisingly, is able to absorb the blow without immediately falling to a heap. This is an impressive feat, but The Overtaken winds up and takes another swing. This time Rainbow Bright hits the deck. Meanwhile The Overtaken has turned his attention to Aaris Max. He pulls back and lands a mighty blow on Aaris Max who staggers back and to his knees. Jennifer tries to protect Aaris, but The Overtaken swats her aside. The Overtaken makes a move to pin Aaris Max, but in reality he is trying to stop Aaris from bleeding out from a large wound. Rick notices and subtly signals to the medics. He stealthily pores some 151 on a rag and presses it to the wound. The Overtaken does his best to hid Rick’s actions from the crowd. Erlik assists the nurses and medics in getting Aaris out of the ring. The Overtaken bows to Erlik and Rick. Rick indicates Aaris has been pinned and is out of the match.
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After being snubbed by The Overtaken, the Black City Potentate turns on Agni. They take a swipe with the rent reality blade and a bunch of Agni simply isn’t there anymore. The Potentate swings again and makes partial contact (which is still significant), but Agni manages to also get a blow in with his admittedly relatively puny knife. Digor gets in on the act by chucking his chair at the Black City Potentate. The chair makes solid contact with what I guess is the Potentate’s helmet. It clearly gets their attention. The Potentate turns and glares (or at least the crowd assumes there is glaring under there) at Digor. Digor looks back and appears to be whispering something and making strange shapes with his boney hands. At that moment every one of his teeth fall out of his head and to the mat. In the midst of all this action, Collectivist Prime has set up a small stage for himself and, in true heal fashion, attempts to inflict maximum damage on as many of the combatants (and presumably onlookers) as possible by reciting Vogon poetry over a loud speaker. *** Oh freddled gruntbuggly. Thy micturations are to me, (with big yawning) As plurdled gabbleblotchits, in midsummer morning On a lurgid bee, That mordiously hath blurted out, Its earted jurtles, grumbling Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. ***
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As the action goes on in the ring, Phil has caught up with Aaris who I guess is better enough to at least speak with him. Phil: Aaris, how do you know Desdanova? That car was his pride and joy. Aaris: I don’t know Desdanova. I bought this car as a salvage. Phil waves his wispy fingers over Aaris’ body. Aaris smiles and looks much better. Aaris hands the nurses some cash. Phil puts a tiny band aid on the wound and Aaris jumps back in the ring. Erlik sticks with the nurses in case they need more help. The Black City Potentate decides Agni is not worth the effort and steps around him to confront Collectivist Prime. On the way by, Agni takes another swipe with the knife. Where the the knife penetrates, a stream of black mist sprays out. Black City Potentate: I have experience with the works of Nancy Paula Millstone Jennings. Your paltry Vogon poetry holds no fear for me. The Potentate swings at Collectivist Prime, but Collectivist Prime dodges and hits back. Paul gets in on the action and tries to hit the Black City Potentate with the urn. He misses and accidentally throws the urn in the direction of the coffin in the ring (oh, right, there is a coffin in the ring. If the fight ends with someone stuffed into it, so much the better). Paul scampers after the urn and takes another swing with it. He misses almost as wildly, but this time the Black City Potentate is ready and hits back. Rick pushes the coffin closer to the Black City Potentate/Paul/Collectivist Prime group. The Black City Potentate and Collectivist Prime lunge at each other and both do a little damage to the other. Digor jumps into the fray and whacks the Black City Potentate. Eusyram jumps on Stompy. Eusyram: Stompy, if you play along we might just be able to get the Potentate
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Collectivist Prime takes the opportunity to recite more poetry when there is a lull in the action: * Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles, Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts, And living glupules frart and stipulate, Like jowling meated liverslime, Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes, And hooptiously drangle me, With crinkly bindlewurdles, mashurbitries. Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! * The Overtaken takes the opportunity to do a little housekeeping and throws Rainbow Bright and the Hell Bike out of the ring. Phil jumps on the Hell Bike and shouts “Gun it!” They take off. Agni: Hey Collectivist Prime, can I please have Stoatbringer? Collectivist Prime hands it over. The rune sword can’t take over Agni’s body. Rick tries to get Agni’s attention by shooting him with a crossbow bolt with a boxing glove on the end. Joan barks at the rune sword. Vardenifil sees the rune sword and is compelled to take it. Vardenifil snatches at the rune sword, but misses. Agni can hear the sword say to him “Can’t I just suck Vardenifil’s soul? He’s so annoying.” The Overtaken pushes Vardenifil away from the sword.
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Meanwhile, The Overtaken throws Aaris back out of the ring. The Black City Potentate is still looking fairly strong. Paul takes a chance and goes at the Potentate again, but misses. The Black City Potentate smacks him back and Paul crumples. The Overtaken gives it a go and also misses the Potentate. The Potentate hits back. The Overtaken is obviously hurting. Perretti finally gets in on the action. They scoop up Digor’s teeth and go after the Black City Potentate with a mouthful of Digor teeth. This doesn’t seem to be much more effective than any of the other attempts. The Black City Potentate swats at Perretti. Perretti zips around the Black City Potentate. Perretti: I can do whatever I want! You can’t do whatever you want to whoever you want! Perretti streaks in and shoves their needle through the hole in the mask/helmet where an eye should be. The Black City Potentate staggers back a little. Perretti: I’ll end you all!!!!!!! Digor swoops in and lands a mighty blow to the Black City Potentate who goes down. Digor: How’s that for 200 to 1? Black mist emanates from the form and the body seems to disintegrate. The particularly observant person would notice the Black City Potentate re-form in the audience.
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With the Black City Potentate out of the way, the bout becomes somewhat of a free for all. Collectivist Prime swings at Vardenifil and hits. The Overtaken is basically roaming the ring swinging his arms hoping to make contact. The first he goes for Stompy. Eusyram leaps clear as Stompy is subdued by a crushing blow from The Overtaken. Right Bunny takes this chance to come on down only to be turned on by The Overtaken how greats Right Bunny with a right hook. Next up is Vardenifil, but this time The Overtaken misses and Vardenifil strikes back hard. The Overtaken looks woozy. Not to be outdone, Collectivist Prim swings at Vardenifil and knocks him out of the ring. The Overtaken and Collectivist Prime turn on each other. They both swing and both connect. The each stagger backward. The Overtaken is the first to recover and goes for the kill. One final blow to Collectivist Prime sends him sprawling to the floor. Perretti taps The Overtaken on the shoulder and executes a “one inch kick.” The Overtaken’s eyes roll back and he falls backward onto the canvas. Perretti: That’s what you get for stealing my husband! Right Bunny goes at Eusyram who dodges and as the bunny stumbles by is able to nab the soul stone and the mech goes dark. Eusyram then goes at Agni, who parries and rewards Eusyram’s attempt by cutting his pole arm in half. The head rolls around the ring. Perretti has an idea. They go back in time and bet 500 cash on Digor to win. Perretti whispering to Eusyram: Don’t ask me how I know, but Digor is going to win. Eusyram: OK Perretti takes out Agni. It’s a little hard to tell how, but he’s definitely down and crawls out of the ring.
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Eusyram chants the following: * There was one who was famed for the number of things He forgot when he entered the ship: His umbrella, his watch, all his jewels and rings, And the clothes he had bought for the trip. * As the number of combatants dwindles, Rick pushes the coffin closer in. “Let’s keep it a fair fight.” Digor swings at Perretti with his chair, but Perretti deftly disarms him. In the meantime, Phil has bribed the valet and gotten access to Highway Star. Together the two charge the ring. The is a crash and some honking and some screaming. When the dust settles, Digor and Perretti have been thrown clear of the ring. Eusyram is still in the ring. Highway Star is not quite as bright and shiny as before. Perretti whips up a little wind storm that blows Digor back in the ring. Phil tries to get The Overtaken up, but Perretti has eaten a portion of him. Phil tickles Perretti who responds by puking up a flying Buick. Rick can’t believe a flying Buick would have the audacity to invade his ring.
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Digor stands menacingly on his chair at the foot of the coffin with axe in hand. He swings it back and throws the lightsaber force axe at Perretti. Perretti can’t dodge this time. Eusyram attacks Digor who trips him. Eusyram tumbles forward collecting Perretti along the way. They fall in a heap apparently down for the count. Rick pushes each down person out with the toe of his shoe. Once the ring is empty of all but Digor, he raises Digor’s hand. Digor smiles (I guess. It’s even more creepy to see a skeleton with no teeth than a run of the mill skeleton) and waves to the crowd. Perretti gets 100000 Cash from the bet. The group in general is now very, very rich. Phil pays Aaris for the meal they skipped on. The Black City Potentate hands Digor a plaque. Black City Potentate: Leave this plaque on the stones of donation when you are ready. When you do so, all will be transported to the Black City. Digor and the Black City Potentate shake hands in mutual respect. In preparation for the trip, Digor procures a lasso. Agni replaces Eusyram’s pole arm. Collectivist Prime asks for the rune sword back. Agni refuses. +350XP
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max-power™ 07/15/2021 4:53 PM
8 July 2021: Just out for a Sunday drive Party: Rick, Digor, Phil, Eusyram, Erlik, Perretti, Collectivist Prime After the epic battle, the party is very rich and famous. With the fame comes the expected notoriety. Bookkeeping: * Vardenifil is still unplugged at the start of the session There are several ways of getting to the Black City 1) It’s possible to just walk to the Black City if the breathers wear environmental containment suits 2) The party could put the calling card on the stone of donation, but it’s not clear what’s on the other side of that path 3) Maybe they could even just fly there The party heads back to Plutonia. Eusyram: Plutonia, can you approach the Black City? Plutonia: Don’t see why not. I mean it’s just right over there. (I imagine Plutonia kind of nodding toward the city with their bow) Phil: Is it really right over there? Plutonia: I don’t see anything that would indicate otherwise. Phil looks skeptical. It’s clear he is not sure it’s that simple, but even he concedes there is at least something over there. Eusyram: We could try a parallax test to see if it’s just an illusion. Perretti: Now we’re talking!!! Fly by!!! Plutonia: How much space do you want to give the city. Perretti: I don’t know…Impolite but not threatening Plutonia: 1/4 mile closest approach seems to fit those criteria
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n preparation, Eusyram, Rick and Traygrin all don environmental isolation suits. Phil is able to modify the suit for Traygrin so he can walk around comfortably. Perretti joins Eusyram in his suit. Plutonia sets out on a teardrop shaped pattern that will take them over the portals and around the city in a clockwise fashion. Eusyram can feel electricity through the hull. After passing the portals, the crew can see that most of them are just empty hoops from the other side. The exception is the green portal. The camp looks much more fun and festive looking back at it through the portal. The dust is windswept forming dunes here and there. A lot of dust is suspended by what appears to be static charge. The dust pulses silver and brown. The suspended dust extends about 100 feet above the ground. Plutonia’s path will take them out to sea. The sand on the beach is different from the dust. It appears to just be normal grey colored sand. The city is about a mile across. Everything is constructed of black cubes stacked up. This is true of everything: e.g. buildings and streets. The blocks look like oily obsidian. Plutonia: My sensors indicate that we are being painted by UV lasers. They are note very powerful, but someone certainly knows we are here. They come around to the back of the city. There is a surprisingly incongruent structure that catches their attention. It’s a stone pillar reaching out over the sea. This is not made of black cubes, but appears to be normal carved stone. On top of the pillar is a meadow with green grass, a hut and a rock pinnacle. The end of the pillar has a stairway leading to a building cantilevered over the ocean. The building appears to be mad of plasteel or similar material, but it’s patchwork with different colors of panels on all sides. There is an observation deck and a patio along with other amenities. The city itself sort of wraps around the pillar, but does not encroach completely on it.
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Eusyram: Desdanova, have you ever seen this? Desdanova: I’ve never been this close to the city. Eusyram: Do you have any thoughts on the spire? Desdanova: It does sort of remind me of the Four Winds bar in that it is so obviously out of place. As they are talking, a woman comes out of the hut to watch the ship fly by. Perretti reaches out to her through Plutonia. Perretti: I’ve got a question for you. Woman: OK kiddo, shoot Perretti: We need to talk to someone in the city with influence Woman: Basically any of them will do. There’s not much that differentiates those folks. Perretti: What differentiates you? Woman: I’m not them. I do not watch the watchmen, but I do keep watch. Perretti: Do you care what happens to the city? Woman: Structurally? Yes, since I kinda live here. Perretti: You got a name? Woman: Nada. You? Perretti: You can call me Perretti for now. Perretti lets Eusyram know that Grandma Nada has invited them over. Meanwhile, The Overtaken takes the opportunity to walk over to Rick. He takes the crossbow bolt on the necklace off and puts it over Rick’s head. All is forgiven.
16:53
In the environmental suit Eusyram and Perretti have a heart to heart (dialog thanks to Richard!) —————— Eusyram: have you thought about the other part of you that’s in the prison? Peretti: ...I don’t like to think about it. Whenever I do I feel real bad and I don’t wanna do it any more. It just makes me ...not want to. Also... Are you sure you want to get the rest of me out of the prison? What if I'm not the same? What if I can't love you any more and don't want to be together? Eusyram: That may be, but I am here to serve you. I made a promise and... Peretti: You know, you keep saying that, but i never decided that. I just wanted you to be with me and keep me company. And I shouldn't have to make that decision on my own, I want us to make decisions together, not for you to always be serving me and making me decide! I don’t want to be an image in a church window, something you just serve and don't have to think about. Eusyram: Oh! I understand. No, I don't want you to be in the window either. Peretti: And I'm having fun with you right now. I don't know if I want that to end. Eusyram: we could go have fun and come back later....... But ultimately you should at least meet yourself, and see what you want, just for us to know what that means. Even if that means we are not the same, we have to take that risk. Right now we don't know what the Peretti in the prison wants, nor what you might be if you were all together. . .....Most of all, I could not ask you to stay apart from yourself. You offer me this as an option, but how could I take it, when we don't know what there is of you that we cannot now see? ———————————— Perretti: I want to call myself in the Black City. Will you help me do that Plutonia? Plutonia: You want to do what? Perretti: You heard me right. Plutonia: There’s a you in there? Perretti: Yeah. Plutonia: OK we can try
16:54
It’s very loud. Perretti winces, but at the same time is visibly growing, but not just their body is growing, but also their knowledge. The suit is no longer big enough to hold both Perretti and Eusyram and it eventually ruptures. This is obviously uncomfortable for Eusyram. Suddenly a sort of wall in communication slams down cutting Plutonia Perretti from the part in the black city. Plutonia: There is a call coming in. Should I take it? Perretti: Yes A Black City Potentate shows on the screen. Potentate: Pleas don’t try that again! Perretti: I’m coming for you mo fos Potentate: See you later. click Eusyram dials 69 Potentate: Hello? Eucyram: There must be a price. What would you take in ransom for the rest of that being’s being? Potentate: You can’t afford it. Let me check…Release can be negotiated for the life essence of 49 worlds with 3 billion inhabitants each. Eusyram: Seems pretty doable Potentate: Are there any other ransoms you’d be interested in? (Rick asks Eusyram to inquire about the Blue God) Eusyram: What about an entity some call the Blue God? Potentate: I have already answered!! *click (OMG is it true that Perretti is the Blue God?!?!?!)
16:54
Perretti is having trouble standing because of the new shape of their body. Eusyram holds them up. Perretti looks at Eusyram. Perretti: Why are you so little? I can’t fit in your neck dip anymore. Sob…sob… Eusyram: There, there Erlik: Maybe a more humanoid form would work better for locomotion? Perretti: Can you show me how to do that? Erllik: I have no idea… Perretti: Plutonia get Frater Per Darabo on the phone Plutonia: Collect call from Perretti Perretti: Yo Frater!! Frater: Hahahahaha You’ll soon be here. Victory is mine! Perretti: What are you up to. Frater: Oh, I’m just watching. Rick: Where does the Earth Portal go? Frater: It’s a long journey that ends at the Blue Pyramid Eusyram: What about the Third Portal? Frater: It’s a kind of nexus or hub. Whoever you run into there would be happy to possess you and take you where they are going. If you don’t mind being possessed by an ultra, it’s a good way to see the multiverse Perretti: Are you in jail here? Frater: Let’s just say I’ve been temporarily inconvenienced in my freedom Perretti: I’m in jail too. I can relate. You want us to break you out? Frater: Absolutely! Perretti: Wait a second. Are you planning on stealing elf Voltron? Frater: No no no. Don’t be silly Perretti: You’re a terrible liar Frater: Cross my heart! Frater: Haha, I never promised to go see Toll-Master Sister! Perretti: You should do that Frater: Ok, fine. (Editor’s note: I remember something about Frater being worried that Sister wouldn’t like him anymore, but I couldn’t remember the details, so I’m leaving this here instead)
16:54
Back at the camp Erlik goes to visit Aaris at the Fading Light Diner Erlik and Aaris are seated in a private booth. Aaris: I heard you want to talk to me. Erlik: I know about your debt. Can it be expressed in currency? Aaris: For now, but I don’t know how much longer. Erlik: How much is the debt? Aaris: 753, 429 Cash (This is about a third of the total party coffers ~2.5 Million Cash) Erlik: Then you would be completely free? Aaris: You know these contracts. I don’t know for sure they wouldn’t screw me over in some way. There could be a penalty for paying off early for example. Perretti: Maybe we should wait on the by the book answer until we have done what we want to do in the Black City Erlik: Perhaps a more confrontational approach is necessary. Eusyram: If they cannot be trusted to honor a debt, there is no chance they can be trusted with a ransom. Erlik gets a copy of the Black City contract from Aaris. 300XP (edited)
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Adam Thornton 07/15/2021 4:58 PM
Excellent. +150XP. Her name is actually Mada, but Granny Nada is kind of way more awesome.
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Kyana 07/15/2021 5:12 PM
And from what I recall it is about third of party funds, not a half
17:12
We had about 2,5 mil
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Adam Thornton 07/15/2021 5:51 PM
Yes, that is correct
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richardgrenville 07/15/2021 5:54 PM
A thought that might be too capitalistic for Eusyram: “you know, the BCPs might refuse to set Aaris free, but _maybe we could buy the debt from them and become his creditors. That way they wouldn’t be confronted with their own pettiness.”
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Jack Tatters 07/15/2021 11:27 PM
the thing about Tollmaster Sister is: "I don't know if she'd like me any more, the way I am now" and Perretti was like "Well, she likes me and I'm a little winged hedgehog so she's probably chill with a flaming skull or whatever you are. Give her a chance!"
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the doc 07/15/2021 11:38 PM
Ty
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max-power™ 08/25/2021 11:05 AM
I'm starting to worry that I haven't done the play report from the last session
11:06
This one may need to be a team effort
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Adam Thornton 08/25/2021 2:56 PM
I wasn't sober at the time and it's a long time ago, so....I don't know how much I can help.
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Jack Tatters 08/26/2021 6:27 PM
I can share mine!
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max-power™ 09/09/2021 4:50 PM
15 July 2021: Are we there yet? Party: Rick, Digor, Phil, Erlik, Perretti, Agni There is the issue of Aaris’ debt to the Black City potentates. The loan is 38% APR. There is a 10% penalty for early payment. There is some wiggle room to move things around as long as those giving the loan don’t take a loss on what they would have made. Eusyram: We could offer to buy the debt rather than just paying it off. Erlik: What’s the difference? Eusyram: Aaris would still be under the responsibility of the debt and won’t go completely free. I suspect part of the draw for the potentates is that Aaris continues to be under control Erlik: They won’t let it go for free Eusyram: Maybe we can appeal to their greed Rick: How do we get in contact with the debtors. Do we just put a duffel bag on the donation stone? Aaris: I have means by which I can contact them. Phil: I say we buy the debt for one penny more than it is worth. I imagine that would really offend them. (Aside between Eusyram and Agni about the rune sword) Eusyram: So the sword, when we went around the city, did it react in any way? Was it attracted, repelled, indifferent…? Agni: When we went by the pillar on the far side it was definitely excited. It felt like it was saying “Master, master. I’m coming master.” Phil: Is Mada the master? Agni: No way. The sword wants to kill Mada. Its master is a different entity. Eusyram: You say the sword is attracted. Does it physically pull, or does it just suggest where you should go? Agni: Oh, it definitely pulls. Eusyram: So do you think it could pull something small? Agni: I think so. Perretti: Me, me, me!!! Erlik: Perretti, forgive me, but you are not longer small… Perretti: Oh right.
16:50
Let’s get the payment for Aaris’ debt done. Aaris has some body guards at the restaurant that will make sure they are not disturbed. The group goes into the office at the back of the diner. Inside is a desk with a speaker box on it. Aaris (remember it’s Aaris Max) presses the button and eventually a voice says: Voice: What is it Max? Aaris: I’m ready for a payment. The whole thing. Now. Voice: Really…. There’s a pop and a whiff of ozone and a Black City Potentate materializes in the office. Potentate: You have friends who are known to us (he eyes Perretti). That will make this transaction a little smoother than it would otherwise have had to be. The potentate goes over to the bag on the desk and counts the money inside. Potentate: It appears it’s all there with an extra one Cash note on top. That’s a nice touch. The potentate stamps the contract “Paid In Full” Potentate: I sure hope your friends know what they are doing. See you soon, Max. The Black City Potentate zaps back out of the room with the bag of money. Aaris is clearly a little shaken. He’s trembling and there are dark sweat marks under his arms. He opens a drawn in the desk and pulls out a bottle of whiskey and takes a pull. He offers it to the group. There are no takers. Eusyram: Now that you are out of debt, what are you going to do? Are you sticking around? Aaris: No way! I’m selling the diner and getting out of here! Eusyram: What do you want to get for it? Aaris: I think 500,000 Cash is fair. It makes about 40,000 Cash a month which nets around 10,000 Cash after expenses. Rick: Does our paying off your debt to very dangerous people help at all? Aaris: Oh, for you all? I’d take 150,000 Cash.
16:50
Perretti: Hey Plutonia, can you connect Eusyram to the Perretti in the Black City? Bring, bring… The line is picked up, but it’s too big and loud for Eusyram to comprehend. He quickly casts Eat Magic to avoid having his brain vaporized. It sounds like a loud blast of static. It seems friendly enough, but is initially too much for Eusyram’s teeny, tiny mustelid brain. He tries to navigate it by doing his best to swim upstream in his mind as the torrent of information rushes over him. Black City Perretti: Hello? Hello? Darling are you there? Eusyram: Yes. Yes I’m here. Can you tell me where you are being kept? Black City Perretti: (static with screeching) somewhere cramped. I’m pinned. Eusyram: Can you reach out to me? Black City Perretti: Only if you are in the prison Eusyram closes his eyes and says: * You say you wanna know me Want me to open up You'd like to see inside of me Taste the contents of the cup I'm gonna give you a chance To open me up and see * Perretti: I’d know you anywhere! The conduit is complete and some blue Black City Perretti sloshes around the party’s feet. Rick sees this and gets excited by the prospect of being able to collect some of the Blue God without having to go into the city or fight the Blue God. He begins scooping up the essence in a canteen. This really pisses Perretti off. Rick apologizes and gives Perretti the canteen. They do not return the canteen. Perretti hides the rest of their being somewhere on Plutonia.
16:50
Phil: Can the bit of Black City Perretti know who else is in the prison? Perretti: Let me check. Hang on. Black City Perretti: I can’t see through the other cells. There is something pinning me down. I can’t move at all. Perretti: Eusyram and I are trying to get you out of there. Black City Perretti: I am held down by a powerful sword. Perretti: I think I have one of those swords out here too. Black City Perretti: If I ever get out, I will help you kill it slowly. Perretti: OK. We are coming. Black City Perretti: Please come soon. Perretti: Eusyram, the rune sword is working for the same one who my prison impaler is working for. Rick: Could this be some kind of mining operation? If the rune sword is harvesting life force from an immortal, they can never run out of life force to harvest. It is essentially a perpetual motion machine. Erlik: The Blue God made everyone immortal and it was a disaster. Perretti: I don’t care about that now. We must get me out of that prison. Erlik: But what if in doing so, you kill everyone? Perretti: I care not at all. Erlik: People should be given the chance to judge their own fate Perretti: I can do what I want!! Erlik: Not everyone does whatever they want! Perretti: Well more people should! It’s fun! Agni: We need to take the sword if we go into the Black City to help us fight our way out. Collectivist Prime: Is it actually an asset? Erlik: We know its master is in the city. Digor: I thought the master was a prisoner Erlik: That’s not inconsistent with its master being in the city
16:51
Eusyram: Perretti, are you the Blue God? Perretti looks uncomfortable. Perretti calls Frater Per Derabo. Perretti: Frater are you impaled in the prison in the Black City? Frater: No. I could probably leave if I had to. I’m being held in what amounts to a really boring hotel room. Perretti: We are bringing the castellan along. You’ve got some explaining to do about how you just left him to look after things. Are you in there alone. Frater: Yes. I had some rats once, but they were taken away when it was discovered I was making friends with them. You know how I like rodents. Perretti: Paul, would you go with us into the city? Paul: I suppose if you insisted, I couldn’t say no. Perretti (whispering): Paul, I need to know how to make more people Paul: cough, sputter, ahem. Shouldn’t your parents have taken care of that? Eusyram: Agni, can we leave the rune sword behind? Agni: Where could we leave it to be safe? Eusryam: (shrug) Agni: Hey sword what do you know of Mada? Sword (through Agni): She is the Warden of the Master, but also the Master’s victim (eye roll). I bet her soul tastes like mango and bananas. Can we find out?
16:51
Perretti (reaching out to Mada through Plutonia): Madda, can we come visit? Mada: Come on down kiddo. Bring your little friends too. Perretti: We have a rune sword up here that said you are a warden of the prison. Mada: I do keep an eye on the high value prisoners. Digor: like the Blue God and the Master? Mada: Yes. I keep watch on the Blue God and the Black Obelisk. Perretti: What do you think of them? Asking for a friend. Mada: Personally, I think the Blue God made a mistake, but the Black Obelisk is just a dick. Digor: What about the potentates? Mada: They are such pompous guys. Phil: Is the Blue Pyramid worth a visit? Mada: If you ask me, it’s a boring trip, but I’m not going to stop you if you are going. Just take the Dull Way all the way to the end. Digor: Could we get inside by ethereal intrusion? Mada: Sorry, but it’s not that easy, I’m afraid. Eusyram and Erlik want to talk directly with Mada. Plutonia creeps in over the ocean. About 150 meters from the pillar there’s a sickening lurch. Everyone on board feels slightly ill. After getting their bearings, the party notice that they are now 100 meters south of the city. Phil can tell the Black City is not in normal space. There appear to be 7 space and 3 time dimensions. The rune sword could be heard singing for the brief moment where Plutonia was where the city should be.
16:51
Taking another approach, instead of bringing the whole ship, Eusyram and Erlik try the jetpack. Eusyram carries Collectivist Prime in his pistol configuration. Digor wishes to go along too. Eusyram and Erlik take off toward the meadow. Digor, for some reason, doesn’t wait for his Joan Jett Pack to light before stepping off the best rope ladder in history. It doesn’t light and Digor plummets toward the ocean. Eusyram chants: ** Like a sinner before the gates of Heaven I'll come crawling on back to you * Digor’s pack lights enough to generate positive lift, but not much control. He is caught by the other people in jet packs and the three crash land on the meadow. They look around and see mice deer and green grass. Mada is there with a cane and one of the auto-golem armor suits. Mada: You OK? Erlik bows and Mada curtseys back. Mada: Welcome Collectivist Prime transforms back to robot form. Mada: I like the red. Collectivist Prime: I am here to serve the state Mada: Yes, but which state? Collectivist Prime: The international state Mada: How precious. Now let’s go decapitate some capitalists. Digor and Collectivist Prime hear a voice in their heads. Voice: Come on down. You can conquer worlds, subjugate the populace. It’s fun! Mada: Don’t listen to the voice and whatever you do, don’t open the salmon colored door in the Black Obelisk. Voice: Come on. Lots of people need decapitating. Collectivist Prime steps toward the salmon door and reaches for the handle. Erlik intervenes. Collectivist Prime starts reciting an epic poem about ideology and stuff. Erlik just politely asks him to cut it out.
16:51
Mada: It’s ideology is not communist. I guess this works because next thing Mada is serving tea and sandwiches. She informs the group that she can send people anywhere just by touching them. Mada: Where would you all like to go? Eusyram: Either the Red Lands or Normandy Collectivist Prime: Home or maybe someplace else. Digor: Just back to the village. Erlik: I can just lie down and go home Mada: You are the interesting one. Why are you here? Erlik: Enlightenment Collectivist Prime: Is the Black Obelisk the reason we all had to go fast, go west? Mada: No, that was the city. Erlik: Why? Mada: To be honest, I don’t know. Few of you ever make it this far. Erlik: Is the city a being? Mada: The city has a conscience. The potentates are avatars of the city. Erlik: Is the city Devine? Mada: I suppose mortals would say so. Eusyram: If it has a conscience, it must want something. Mada: Yes, it wants control. Eusyram: With any goal in having that control? Mada: As far as I can tell, it just accretes. The more it accumulates, the more it can accumulate. Digor: What do you know about djin? Mada: Well they are a lot like this place. Imprisoned in a tiny space and willing to do anything to get out. Erlik: So did the city capture you? Mada: Well, I can’t leave, if that’s what you mean. The same is true of the house on the edge of time. (The shack overhanging the ocean)
16:52
Perretti starts asking questions through Eusyram. Eusyram: What about the Black Obelisk? Mada: You are curious about the rune swords. There are dozens of them and they are all terrible. Eusyram: Can we kill the obelisk? Mada: You could try to disentangle it and it may leave. Eusyram: Would that pull the city apart? Mada: That I don’t know. I do know that the power it has comes from the prisoners. Now Eusyram as self Eusyram: If you send me home, can you bring me back? Mada: If you leave me a piece of yourself. Eusyram: If we could dramatically reduce the density of the city, then the pull should also be reduced. (This must have something to do with the box Eusyram left on his night stand) Erlik: I’m more interested in non-violent means. I can liberate ghosts, so I’m wondering if there are ways I might be able to liberate those trapped in the city. Mada: You are welcome to stay as long as you wish to learn about the city and how it interacts with its inhabitants. 1000XP
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max-power™ 09/16/2021 4:21 PM
9 Sept 2021: If not now, when? Party: Rick, Digor, Collectivist Prime, Erlik, Phil, Agni Erlik goes into the city for a time and returns with questions for Mada. Erlik: What made the Black City? Mada: Disappointment. The events leading up to the forgetting of the Blue God. The city believes it has a mission. Erlik: That’s not the same as having an actual mission. Mada: It gave itself the mission. Erlik: So it sees itself as a messiah? Mada: It needed to do something. What’s the point of being a city when all your inhabitants were erased? Erlik: It is a ghost of itself. It has given itself an impossible task, so it can’t (and won’t) move on Eusyram: Who were the inhabitants and where did they go? Mada: They were “Immortified” in the battle with the Blue God. Well, not so much immortal as turned into pure energy and scattered among the stars. Erlik: I guess rapture has a lot of meanings. Mada: Yes. They were enraptured. The party learns that Erlik offered to set the city free and it refused. There are three problems 1) The city is hard to get into and especially out of 2) If the Blue God and the Black Obelisk are separated there needs to be a way to control both of them 3) There is no plan for how to separate them Erlik stays on the ground while everyone else goes back the the ship. Mada can let people in and out. Rick suggests the djin. Eusyram: Plutonia, what should we do with the djin? Plutonia: Shrug Eusyram: will you try talking to the djin Plutonia: OK
16:21
Djin: Hello there. You going to let me out of this thing?? Eusyram: Can we get a favor? Djin: Sure. What you have heard is how it works. You can have 3 wishes. Eusyram: Is there anything you can’t do? Djin: Sure. There are a few things. Believe it or not, there are some things in this multiverse that are more powerful than I am. Desdenova, Suzie, Paul, The Overtaken are in for going into the city. Paul looks very pale. Some of the party start climbing down the magnificent ladder, but wait!! Oh no!! Eusyram falls off somehow. Phil uses a bit of rope trickery and manages to snag Eusyram before he falls all the way. All are able to get back down to the ground. Mada brings tea and heals Eusyrams fall damage. Mada agrees to transport Eusyram back to wherever his night stand is to get the scaler box. She talked a pound of Eusyram’s Ha. Eusyram walks down to the Black City to try the box. He tries a few knobs. It makes him feel queasy, but it really impacts Phil. Voice: “Do not do that again!” Eusyram is clearly less of a pole cat than he was. There is a dent in his chest where his Ha used to be. Perretti is distressed and files the hole with a stuffed octopus. Phil “fixes” Eusyram by turning the stuffed octopus into a real octopus that wriggles inside and props up his body from the inside. Perretti BOCs plutonic into the city. Phil looks surprised and vanishes. Some nondescript person shows up with Erlik in the Black City. Somehow Phil teleports Erlik out of the city leaving a shell for each dimension they leave behind. Jillian (some version of Phil, I guess?) pops out of existence. Bill staggers onto the bridge (yes that Bill) of Plutonia and falls over. He’s wearing Perretti’s boot. Perretti’s stuff is still inside Plutonia tries to call Phil, but can’t find him. Phil is outside the city. 750XP
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Adam Thornton 09/16/2021 4:22 PM
I thought that Erlik wasn't teleported out of the city, but within the city to where Plutonia was.
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max-power™ 09/16/2021 4:23 PM
I wasn't clear on that
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richardgrenville 09/16/2021 4:58 PM
This makes less sense in the play report but I believe it’s all true. Maybe I hadn’t grasped all the mystifying details at the time.
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Kyana 09/16/2021 5:54 PM
Erlik was teleported to Plutonia, not out of the city
17:55
(Plutonia is currently in the city)
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max-power™ 09/16/2021 5:56 PM
Well and I missed a fair amount too, but the stuff with Bill went totally over my head at the time as well
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Heard a Who 09/16/2021 9:38 PM
Bill (who is both eaten and re-dead) was my best 45 second reaction to nearly being destroyed + trying to recover the party's focus to opening the jail of the City, not just freeing 1 prisoner. The party figuring out how to deal with people who seem to be here and not-here simultaneously seemed a key to the puzzle of convincing the City to let go of its nonpeople people. Gillian Angie was a wormhole between 2 locations in the City. If we do our in-person debriefing, Adam or I can explain more as to Phil's limitations. Or we could debrief asynchronously on one of the game channels, which would be my preference.
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Jack Tatters 09/17/2021 12:15 AM
yesssss I want that!
00:15
also I wanna know about the covo between Erlick and the City, we didn't get to see that and I'm sad about it! it seems Important.
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Kyana 09/17/2021 4:41 AM
I don't think Peretti could listen to it, so I'd prefer it to remain unknown in exact words But, basically, a bit of back and forth about hope (edited)
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max-power™ 09/23/2021 4:45 PM
16 September 2021: Your wish is my command Party: Collectivist Prime, Erlik, Eusyram, Digor, Rick, Agni, Perretti Eusyram, always the entrepreneur, begins the session by setting up a joint stock venture to run a railway from the Black City to the White City (which is apparently Chicago). They start small by offering single stocks, but Perretti wanted at least 3000 stocks, so it immediately split. The initial investors are: Frater Per Derabo: 1000 Collectivist Prime: 1000 Eusyram: 1000 Rick (treasurer): 3000 Perretti: 3000 Eusyram talks to Frater Per Derabo for a while. The result is that the party will meet him in his apartment. It’s a 20 minute walk or so. After hanging up, Eusyram confides that He “has what [he] needs.” Rick opens the djin bottle. A small man in a suit, with a top hat comes out. He kind of flops out and gradually begins to inflate. He smells strongly of gin and is clearly inebriated. Djin: Where are we? What time is it? Rick: Hi I’m Rick Rickston. Djin: I’m William Claud. You can call me WC Rick: This is the Black City. Was it around when you were last out of your bottle? Djin: Definitely not. I guess I’ll just catch up as we go along. The party goes to Frater Per Derabo’s. It’s an unremarkable brown(black?)stone building. Frater Per Derabo’s name is on the list next to a bell. Eusyram presses the bell, and a moment later the door buzzes. Everyone goes up because there is no lift. Eusyram knocks, “Come on in”. Eusyram goes in first. Once inside, they see a small apartment. It’s worn in spots, but clean enough. Frater Per Derabo wants to buy in to the railway and gives Rick 1 Cash. Rick doesn’t carry the stock notes around with him so Frater Per Derabo settles for an IOU for 1000 shares. Frater Per Derabo is smitten by Burt. It’s hard to pull him away, but eventually the party is able to engage him in conversation.
16:45
Frater: So you have all the parts of MY PRECIOUS, I mean the rodents. Eusyram: We do. Frater: Can I see it? Perretti: No way. We’d have to kill you. It would be bad. Frater: OK. Well, I look forward to getting broken out. Perretti: What are you in for anyway? Frater: Let’s just say hubris. Perretti: Well obviously. What specifically? Frater: What can I say? Some people don’t like rodents. The group leaves. Digor gives Frater Per Derabo a mushroom sandwich on the way out. Frater: You’re a good egg Digor. While they are down in the denser part of the city, Agni wants to take a Black City pub crawl (who is surprised?). The first place appears to be a dive bar, but looking closer, it seems like the servers are just pretending to be distracted jerks. The bar tender isn’t drinking the same thing he is serving. Even the decor seems to be a veneer of grime over an otherwise fairly functional space. Rick gets a PBR tall boy. Agni and WC have grain alcohol which comes with a festive umbrella. Perretti tries to order 3 heartbeats and a last breath, but is told that they’d need to go to one of the more well equipped bars further downtown for that kind of thing. Tequila will suffice. The second is an Applebees’s. I think that’s all that needs to be said. The final place is one of those nice, fancy rooftop places. Perretti gets the 3 heartbeats and a last breath. It’s expensive, but worth it.
16:45
Everyone is back on Plutonia. It’s time to face whatever is in the center of the city. Time for the training montage: https://youtu.be/oM-y8ahz-G0 Eusyram: I’m here to save Perretti. Why are all you here? Agni: I’m tired of being forgotten. I’ll make my mark here. Digor: I’m here because of the dreams. Collectivist Prime: I’m mostly hanging out. Rick: I must slay the giant! Perretti: To be with Eusyram There’s a spot on Joan’s collar that says: I wish the myths of the city to be remembered again. Erlik: The Black City has asked for help. I’m here to help in any way I can. Collectivist Prime figures out that he can control Elf Voltron from outside. A fly by wire kind of situation, if you will. Elf Voltron assemble! Sildenifil is in Right Rat Tadalafil is in Left Rat Castellan is in Back Bat Central Capybara is being controlled by Collectivist Prime, but Vardenafil is kept in the gem Right Bunny is Quilquenacil Left Bunny Avanafil Digor retroactively teaches Steve mage hand so he doesn’t have to write his memoirs with his mouth, and takes 2 stress.
JackBauer137
Rocky 1 - Training Montage (1080p)
16:45
The Full party starts toward the center of the city. At some point, they notice Erlik is gone. They walk along a radial road. The crossing streets appear to be successively shrinking concentric shells. They pass on of these intersecting streets (it doesn’t seem any different from the others) and a forcefield seals behind them. Perretti can no longer communicate with Plutonia. Perretti starts to feel more and more like there must be more of them nearby. The other part is unhappy. The Djin looks uncomfortable and is taking frequent swigs from his hip flask. They continue on. Every few blocks another sphere closes them in. They finally enter a large square and what appears to be the last of the fences closes in on them. If one were to compare the space to anyplace on Earth, it would be a weird version of Times Square. In the center is a glowing, blue, tentacled entity pinned to the ground by an immense obsidian post. Across the square, Erlik appears. There are cracks emanating along the ground from Erlik. Rick turns to the djin and says: “I wish the tip of the obelisk to be transported into the bottle of djin” There is a cracking sound. The tip flies toward the bottle sort of shrinking and distorting as it goes. With a popping sound, the tip disappears and the stopper fastens itself in place. Perretti suddenly feels like there are possibilities available now that were not before. The obelisk lashes out. Agni is in the path, but jumps aside. A blue hemisphere of the stuff the obelisk is pinning is globbed on the obelisk.
16:46
Agni touches the obelisk. The sword screams “Master.” The obelisk shouts “Free me!” The Black City to Erlik: Why are you distracting me? I have a job to do. Erlik: You are in pain. I want to set you free. Black City: I want to be free, but there are still those I have to protect. Phill adds 2 more dimensions. Burt burbles happily at this happening. Perretti feels themself sort of seep into the new extra dimensions “Oh how roomy!” Agni thrusts the black sword into the obelisk. Soul stuff comes rushing out of the wound. Some enters Agni. It flows out, but circulates back into the wound. The short circuit continues to grow and get brighter. Collectivist Prime drives Elf Voltron to step into the soul short circuit. It is immediately blasted backward. Digor grabs plasmic cores from Rick and straps them to a ballista bolt. Around Erlik city buildings start to crumble. Black City: You’re saying I just have to let go? Erlik: Yes Collectivist Prime tries to get Elf Voltron back. It staggers to its feet and stumbles back to Collectivist Prime. Agni: Stay back! Erlik takes the hands of the Black City Potentates into both of his. He gives funeral rites. The city turns white and to powder. The powder collapses and falls to the ground. Erlik begins to dissipate. Eusyram: We must climb. It’s falling into the sea. Collectivist Prime tries to knock Agni away, but fails. Digor casts cockroach on the obelisk, but fails. But he doesn’t just fail to cast the spell. He fails to cast the spell and also makes all his fancy paint off. He stands there, naked as the day he was summoned to this world. (edited)
16:46
Eusyram walks up and touches Agni: ** I just want to be a lover, Not a red-eyed screaming ghoul ** Eusyram: Don’t you want to break the circuit, Agni? Elf Voltron tries to physically pull Agni off the sword. There is wrestling. Rick shoots the plasmic core laced ballista bolt at the center of the obelisk. The bolt smashes into the side of the obelisk where it is suspended over empty space. It shatters and groans. It looks like it may be close to collapse. Agni finally reaches full capacity and transforms into a giant being of smoke and fire Erlik: Is the power all you wished to receive? Agni (looking at his sweet new vessel): Yes. Yes it is. Joan piercing barks and causes the obelisk to crack all the way through. The end finally pulls free of what is clearly what remains of the Blue God. An ominous voice can be heard saying “Take that thing out of me!” The sword holds fast, but on the second pull it comes free. The Rune sword is dead. It got more than it could take. Eusyram: ** By those who see with their eyes closed You’ll know me by my black telescope * The middle two thirds of the obelisk shoots into the sky. It leaves lots of pieces behind. It seems to be leaving all dimensions with similar alacrity.
16:48
Perretti: **** Wounds are all I’m made of Did I hear you say that this is victory? Don't let these shakes go on **** Perretti is free. Perreti bats at the obelisk and misses. Rick: I wish you to bring the obelisk back to me. Djin (shrugs): You found something I can’t do. Agni launches “Chaotic Ember” at the fleeing obelisk. The Black Obelisk bursts in the air like so many bombs and showers back to the ground in a rain of sharp obsidian shards. Perretti is happy with their newly increased power. They make a nice gas giant cottage to live in with Eusyram. Rick has two wishes left. Perretti gives him a couple of winks that say “Don’t forget to give Eusyram and me an offspring of some sort”. Erlik finally completely fades from view as the screen fades to black, only to fade in again in a bit with a wrap-up sequence/where are they today. (edited)
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Kyana 09/23/2021 4:50 PM
(just a quick correction: Erlik -starts- to dissipate once Black City is gone. He is gone fully by the end of the scene. It was never back and forth) (edited)
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max-power™ 09/23/2021 4:50 PM
Got it
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Kyana 09/23/2021 4:58 PM
(thank you)
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Jack Tatters 09/23/2021 6:04 PM
the lyrics of becoming Whole and Well again: I have used up all my weapons And I'm helpless and bereaved Wounds are all I'm made of Did I hear you say that this is victory? Don't let these shakes go on It's time we had a break from it
18:05
this makes the shakes stop
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Heard a Who 09/23/2021 9:21 PM
Will we get a final play report to bookend?
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max-power™ 09/24/2021 9:01 AM
Yes. I plan on putting something out, though it may require a little help filling in bits and pieces from other people's end stories
09:02
I might do that one via google doc to give people a chance to edit in situ
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Jack Tatters 09/24/2021 6:14 PM
I can fill in whatever I have!
18:14
let's put them ALL in a google doc when it's done!
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Oscar Diggs
From THE ASTRONISHING TALES OF OSCAR DIGGS Leaving Ultraviolet City [26 March 2020] The Black City is to the west, and that is where I want to be. BARKEEP: Mr. Bootykins, that was an unprovoked attack upon you. BOOTYKINS: We are prepared to forgive this insult to our person if all occupants of the table agree to accompany our person … A poo smeeling dude in brown robes will lead us: Gallas Flackas is a mutual friend of Poo-Dude and another of our table. LONG FINGER PHIL: [says something I don’t catch] New Cat: You’re in a pickle. I can get you off the hook. Old Tom poaches us with a better offer. Our driver is DimBulbBob. So we all load up with a caravan that is about to move out. They are transporting some Memory Crystals: something Satraps use to hold their memories (therefore they are ransom fodder). The caravan is loading up for the satraps. One of our troop protests: loading up “rainbow apples”, but not the lingerie! And so it begins: several carts start moving out into the pre-dawn light of the Ultraviolet Grasslands, propelled by diesel engines or pulled by freak-animals. The wall of the UV City slowly shrinks in the distance as we travel west. Collectivist Prime (robot) is concerned about the potential exploitation of the workers, but has trouble convincing a long-bearded ox-like-thing to better his lot. We travel all day. As the sun is setting. We come upon a giant chair and someone 20’ tall. This is the stop for yellow beer, apparently. Last Chair Salon: food, cat coffee, wine. There is a halfling: Marsa. $200 cash is our per diem. The team is zealously concerned with the memory crystals. WEST Stepps of the Lime Nomads = NW is one past West Stepps of the Lime Nomads = SW …wait, I’m confused. Maybe too much yellow beer… We all got 50 xp (edited)
the doc 11/15/2021 8:01 AM
The first play report
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Oscar Diggs 11/15/2021 8:04 AM
A classic.
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Oscar Diggs 11/15/2021 3:49 PM
Some early play reports, with images.
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Oscar Diggs 11/15/2021 8:33 PM
http://captainjoy.chunkyboy.com/PCs/Oscar%20Diggs%20Astronishing%20Tales.pdf
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the doc 02/17/2023 1:01 PM
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-duySsRugStQo5hniar2fbq6xetX9QmeG7XNhSgdoBo/edit?usp=drivesdk
UVG archive
From THE ASTRONISHING TALES OF OSCAR DIGGS Leaving Ultraviolet City [26 March 2020] The Black City is to the west, and that is where I want to be. BARKEEP: Mr. Bootykins, that was an unprovoked attack upon you. BOOTYKINS: We are prepared to forgive this insult to our person if all occupant...
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Adam Thornton 02/18/2023 8:48 AM
Thank you!
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